I appreciate all the support. This has been a very difficult 24 hours. My husband struggles with mental illness and he has been in denial about it all his adult life. He is very difficult to live with particularly when he stops taking his meds. I have cared for him and have overcompensated for him and acted more as his mother than his wife. I am exhausted and we keep repeating the same patterns over and over. He needs to take responsibility (hell, his psychiatrist sides with me and has repeatedly told him that he needs to stop denying his issues). I am well aware of what divorce does to children. But living with a parent who refuses to treat his mental illness is not good for children either....trust me. His denial is THE reason I medicated myself.
I do not know where things will be going from here and right now I am not really wanting to talk about it yet. I am doing OK. No further oxy and no issues from the dose I did take. I just need to mourn for a bit.