Quitting Oxycodone with Loperamide- My story begins... - Part 149

By Jungledog · Dec 17, 2014 · ·
  1. Bumble,

    Thanks for the support. He of course is now doing all he needs to do and is begging me to stay. I have nowhere to go just yet anyhow. We have agreed to go to marriage counseling. My kids know something is up.

    I have to get to my practice day all. Physically I am exhausted and it is getting old. Pain wise I hurt. I need to figure out what to do about this. Kratom does take the edge off it and I get no high from it. I am thinking I may use this ONLY if I really need it. It is better than using oxycodone.

    Ok off to shower and work. Keep winning all!!! You all know I love you LG, Smith, Mel, Bumble, Bear, Mono, hydroxy, and anyone else my brain dead mind forgot! B:)

Comments

  1. supermono
    Pink Floyds last great song in my humble opinion. A fantastic lyric with the best guitar solo ever. (open to debate of course).;)...... The band fell apart after this and without Rodger Waters the band never got back to their best. This sums up part of my opiate abuse.


    "Comfortably Numb"

    Hello,
    Is there anybody in there?
    Just nod if you can hear me.
    Is there anyone at home?

    Come on now
    I hear you're feeling down
    Well, I can ease your pain
    And get you on your feet again

    Relax
    I'll need some information first
    Just the basic facts
    Can you show me where it hurts?

    There is no pain, you are receding
    A distant ship smoke on the horizon
    You are only coming through in waves
    Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
    When I was a child I had a fever
    My hands felt just like two balloons
    Now I've got that feeling once again
    I can't explain, you would not understand
    This is not how I am
    I have become comfortably numb

    I have become comfortably numb

    O.K.
    Just a little pin prick
    There'll be no more aaaaaaaah!
    But you may feel a little sick

    Can you stand up?
    I do believe it's working, good
    That'll keep you going through the show
    Come on, it's time to go.

    There is no pain you are receding
    A distant ship smoke on the horizon
    You are only coming through in waves
    Your lips move but I can't hear what you're saying
    When I was a child
    I caught a fleeting glimpse
    Out of the corner of my eye
    I turned to look but it was gone
    I cannot put my finger on it now
    The child is grown
    The dream is gone
    I have become comfortably numb.
  2. marathonmel7
    To those that have been integral in my recovery, those that have messaged me everyday and kept me going, kept me fighting. Couldn't have done this without you "taking my hand and walking this road together."

    "Not Afraid"

    [Chorus:]
    I'm not afraid (I'm not afraid)
    To take a stand (to take a stand)
    Everybody (everybody)
    Come take my hand (come take my hand)
    We'll walk this road together, through the storm
    Whatever weather, cold or warm
    Just letting you know that you're not alone
    Holler if you feel like you've been down the same road (same road)


    [Intro (during Chorus):]
    Yeah, it's been a ride
    I guess I had to, go to that place, to get to this one
    Now some of you, might still be in that place
    If you're trying to get out, just follow me
    I'll get you there


    You can try and read my lyrics off of this paper before I lay 'em
    But you won't take the sting out these words before I say 'em
    Cause ain't no way I'ma let you stop me from causing mayhem
    When I say I'ma do something I do it,
    I don't give a damn what you think,
    I'm doing this for me, so fuck the world
    Feed it beans, it's gassed up, if it thinks it's stopping me
    I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly
    And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony
    No ifs, ands or buts, don't try to ask him why or how can he
    From "Infinite" down to the last "Relapse" album
    He's still shitting, whether he's on salary paid hourly
    Until he bows out or he shits his bowels out of him
    Whichever comes first, for better or worse
    He's married to the game, like a fuck you for Christmas
    His gift is a curse, forget the Earth, he's got the urge
    To pull his dick from the dirt, and fuck the whole universe

    [Chorus]

    Okay quit playing with the scissors and shit, and cut the crap
    I shouldn't have to rhyme these words in the rhythm for you to know it's a rap
    You said you was king, you lied through your teeth, for that
    Fuck your fillings, instead of getting crowned you're getting capped
    And to the fans, I'll never let you down again, I'm back
    I promise to never go back on that promise, in fact
    Let's be honest, that last "Relapse" CD was ehhh
    Perhaps I ran them accents into the ground
    Relax, I ain't going back to that now
    All I'm trying to say is get back, click-clack, blow
    Cause I ain't playing around
    It's a game called circle and I don't know how, I'm way too up to back down
    But I think I'm still trying to figure this crap out
    Thought I had it mapped out but I guess I didn't, this fucking black cloud
    Still follows me around but it's time to exorcise these demons
    These motherfuckers are doing jumping jacks now!

    [Chorus]

    And I just can't keep living this way
    So starting today, I'm breaking out of this cage
    I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
    I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
    I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
    Time to put my life back together right now! (now)

    It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me
    Admittedly, I probably did it subliminally
    For you, so I could come back a brand new me you helped see me through
    And don't even realize what you did, 'cause believe me you
    I been through the ringer, but they could do little to the middle finger
    I think I got a tear in my eye, I feel like the king of
    My world
    , haters can make like bees with no stingers
    And drop dead, no more beef lingers
    No more drama from now on, I promise
    To focus solely on handling my responsibilities as a father
    So I solemnly swear to always treat this roof, like my daughters
    And raise it, you couldn't lift a single shingle on it!
    Cause the way I feel, I'm strong enough to go to the club
    Or the corner pub, and lift the whole liquor counter up
    Cause I'm raising the bar
    I'd shoot for the moon but I'm too busy gazing at stars
    I feel amazing and I'm...

    [Chorus]

    marathonmel7 added 20 Minutes and 13 Seconds later...

    "Fix You"

    When you try your best, but you don't succeed
    When you get what you want, but not what you need
    When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
    Stuck in reverse

    And the tears come streaming down your face
    When you lose something you can't replace
    When you love someone, but it goes to waste
    Could it be worse?

    Lights will guide you home
    And ignite your bones
    And I will try to fix you

    And high up above or down below
    When you're too in love to let it go
    But if you never try you'll never know
    Just what you're worth

    Lights will guide you home
    And ignite your bones
    And I will try to fix you

    Tears stream down your face
    When you lose something you cannot replace
    Tears stream down your face
    And I...

    Tears stream down your face
    I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
    Tears stream down your face
    And I...

    Lights will guide you home
    And ignite your bones
    And I will try to fix you
  3. marathonmel7
    Hey JD, was thinking a lot about you. How are you doing? Good to hear you are going to marriage counseling. 25 years is a long time. My parents divorced at 24 years after being together for 30. It was time. My mother was a psychotic bitch and my dad was a total passive alcoholic. I didn't want to live with either so I packed a backpack at 15 and started living on people's couches. I kept my athletics up and my grades and eventually got accepted into several colleges with scholarships. It worked out. I've been on my own every since. It is what it is and it made me stronger. Although I wish I could have had the support from my family.

    Anyways, you'll figure out which is the right course of action. I wish you nothing but the best and I support whatever decision you decide to make for yourself.

    I'm sorry you are plagued by pain. I too, am in a lot of pain this morning. My back hurts so bad. But fuck it I say, just keep trucking on. Sounds like you are doing the same and I'm sorry because pain can be so dehabilitating.

    You can do this though, you are doing it. Remember your successes right now. Do not dwell on any failures. Keep up a strong, healthy mind and the rest will follow as it should. You've got my support as always. Keep fighting the good fight. I promise there is greener grass on the other side.

    Take care JD. Always, yours.
  4. Cwb20022
    Nobody's fault but mine was written by jimmy page about his heroin addiction. Its based on an old blues song by Willie Johnson.

    "Nobody's Fault But Mine"

    Nobody's fault but mine [X2] Trying to save my soul tonight It's nobody's fault but mine

    Devil he told me to roll [X2] How to roll the log tonight Nobody's fault but mine

    Brother he showed me the gong Brother he showed me the ding dong ding dong How to kick that gong to light Oh, it's nobody's fault but mine

    Got a monkey on my back. [X2] Gonna change my ways tonight Nobody's fault but mine

    I will get down rollin' tonight Nobody's fault

    I prefer the version off led zepplin no quarter album. But anything from zeppelin is great.
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