Day 6 of taper Mid-day post
Hi all! Just got my morning work. Sitting here munching on a super yummy salad (fresh romaine from farmers market, yellow squash, cucumbers, celery, 1/2 avocado, tossed with lemon & stevia and with toasted pine nuts on top!) and thought I would check in. Had some driving to do today so I had time to think and while I was thinking I became so aware of how much clearer I am feeling. Nice feeling. Feels like my brain has been missing for the past 2 years and has now returned.
Anyhow, one of the things I was thinking about is what helps people get off drugs. I have three very strong beliefs at this point. My process is actually going smoothly. I don't feel great but I feel better than I expected too...those memories of cold turkey are always there panicking me. I think though that things are going better because:
1) I have a support system. My husband has been wonderful and really has been taking care of the home responsibilities and caring for our youngest child. He has been very supportive. I also have the DF family that I have developed and I know there are probably many more just reading the thread that send their positive vibes if not actual messages.
2) My head is in the game. I WANT THIS. I have realized this is key. If you are not honest with yourself about REALLY wanting it...you won't succeed. Am I still scared and worried I won't be able to get through life and my pain without oxy? Shit yeah! But I am more scared that if I stay on it, it will eventually kill me or at least strip away all that I have worked so hard to achieve. Fuck that.
3) I am ready to do the work of healing. Opiates suck your body dry. They fuck up your HPA axis and lead to major freaking endocrine problems....low thyroid, low adrenal, etc. I already have this problem from them. So how do you fix it? Diet & exercise. This time I am eating VERY clean. Basically the only processed food I have had in the last 2 weeks is unsweetened almond milk. Otherwise it has been green smoothies, TONS of salads with fresh veggies, raw granola from my dehydrator, and baked veggies for dinner. I get plenty of protein from beans, nuts, and greens. I believe eating this way will restore the body quicker because I am providing it with only whole, natural foods that it knows what to do with. If you are a meat eater, that's fine. Just get your meat from a local source, not the factory farms and eat fresh local eggs. You will live longer. (If you want more info on EASY whole food diets, Google "greensmoothie girl")/
I also have forced myself to exercise. I am lifting weights and walking 4 miles daily. At night I force myself into the sauna for 20-30 minutes. Hate it but it does help you sweat the toxins out. This is one of the reasons you sweat so much in detox....it is the body's way of getting rid of the opiate shit.
Anyhow, I think these 3 things are why this kick is going well. Today I feel strong. Felt like shit when I woke up. I took 1 tsp Bali kratom at 4am and another 1.5 tsp of Maeng da kratom at 9:30 cuz my ass was still dragging and I needed to work. Now I feel fine. Actually as I sit here typing I have no active detox symptoms...freaking amazing. So we'll see...perhaps the detox gremlins will come back later in the day...mischievous little fuckers.
How ya doing? I tried L-tyrosine when I did the cold turkey detox and it made me very anxious. But perhaps now I should try it again. I need something to move in the morning. Coffee isn't cutting it.
OK folks. I am off to work on a presentation. Will check in from time to time to see how everyone is doing. Hugs to all. Keep kicking!