Good morning all. I appreciate all your supportive posts! I was so tired when I got home last night I collapsed. My husband fed me, we watched mindless TV, and I was in bed at 9. I slept for 12 hours!!!! Sleep has been good. It's like Cymbalta cured it. Thank God.
Yesterday was the most difficult professional event I have ever been through. It was literally EIGHT hours of interviews. Dressed in heels and a suit (which I might add got very hot as the day progressed...I got home and needed to shower) I was led through interview after interview with high level administration. The day began with a 45 minute interview with the dean (who is a very odd person and difficult to connect with...one of those theoretical types), then all the associate deans, then led into a room to present to 25 faculty members for 45 minutes (also videocast to other campuses plus recorded for faculty who were missing). I presented a powerpoint about myself, my practice, my teaching, my publications. This was followed by 30 minutes of open discussion where I was basically interrogated by the faculty with difficult questions...like "What was your most difficult situation with a student and how did you handle it?" Then they kicked me out of the room and discussed me for 30 minutes.
Afterward, I was taken to lunch for a hour with 5 faculty members (all of whom I know so this was a break). Then I was returned to the college where interviews continued in 45 minute blocks. I was so damned mentally exhausted. It was the first time I thought about oxycodone in awhile. At one point I had a clear thought that said "It would be good to have a pill right now to calm me down and give me energy" followed by a thought "Damn, I am still thinking about this shit." Eventually I ended up back in the dean's office and she surprised me by saying that the college wants me. (Usually you interview and a few months later when all applicants are interviewed you are then offered a job). Apparently, it occurred to them that I really can just go back to practice as the doctor I know wants me back and they don't want to lose me. It also appears that I will be given a raise to handle the administrative portion which was surprising.
Anyhow, I have never been put through so much stress. I mean truly. An interview like this was exhausting. It is created to see how you will respond to stress as well as to introduce you to each person at the college. It makes sense for those coming from the outside and do not know the college but I already work here so it was overwhelming to have to stay calm and focused through the marathon. I never want to go through it ever again.
Lostly, sorry to hear about your brother. My students are ages 22-57. There are idiots in every age group. The students were testing a new faculty member. It is common for them to do this but it did get out of hand. They know me and they know I do not tolerate bullshit. I have no problem telling you to shut the fuck up or get out. The one thing I can say about this college is administration has my back. They quickly close ranks and as long as the faculty member didn't do anything wrong they will support you and come down hard on that student. The graduate dean is coming to campus next week (this was already scheduled) and she will rip them apart (in a professional way). She is one of those people you don't want to cross...ever.
Bumble, thanks for the well wishes. I am sure they helped! You sound good, my friend. Keep kicking ass.
Monkey, thanks for your continued support. I will certainly send you well wishes on the pain. Pain sucks. It just does. Do you have a TENS unit?
Beach, keep tapering girl. Yes, I do not know where I would be without gabapentin. It really has been key to me getting off the opiates. It also helps greatly with my chronic pain. Use the kratom if you need to. I am still using it for pain. I don't give a shit what others think of this. I realize I am still using a substance but to me the difference is this does not disrupt my thinking. I am not high and it does help reduce my pain.
Mono, Thanks for your continued support. I was so excited to hear you are getting a NutriBullet. Green smoothies are hands down the best single food thing you can do for your health. They will help you heal. I am so happy about your progress. You sound like you are keeping things together and moving forward.
Mel, hope your back pain eases up and that you enjoy your weekend. You deserve a break my friend.
Smith, hope you are well!
OK. I need to go catch up on threads. I will post more nutrition stuff this weekend. Love to all of you!