Actually feeling ok. Busy day at work so keeping my mind off it. Just kinda achy and tired. All the other gremlins went away. I want this sooo bad so pushing through! Hope you are doing well.
Jungledog added 433 Minutes and 22 Seconds later...
Day 7 update
Well work was like stupid busy. I would have been exhausted after this day even if I wasn't tapering and in mild opiate withdrawal but adding that in has kicked my ass. No way in hell I am going to walk 4 miles tonight. Maybe I will try my rebounder later. I will definately drag my fat behind into the sauna.
So symptom wise I really just feel tired and achy. I also was visited several times by the old hag whispering ideas of "just one oxy would not matter." But being stupid busy made it easy to ignore her. I did take kratom 4 times today since 4 am which sucks but I did keep the dose to 1.5 tsp. I guess I should stop beating myself up about the kratom I just feel like I am just switching addictions. I keep wondering if I should just jump to kratom or really slow my taper letting my body catch up so I do not need the kratom. I have a lighter day Friday so maybe I will try just stopping the loperamide and see how I do with the kratom. Then of course I need to rename this thread...quitting oxy with loperamide and then kratom my story continues!
I had another random thought today about why this time is different. The previous time that I cold turkeyed and then the countless times I tried to cut back or taper with kratom, I was under extreme stress...sick family members, marital problems, financial worries, school pressure, etc. I think I was unable to stop primarily because the oxy was my emotional crutch. It also did not help that the periods of high stress heightened my chronic pain. Between the pain and the stress, I just got stuck emotionally. This time is different. My pain is a little better and while I work a high stress job, most of my personal stress has resolved and I am in a much better place.
So if you are reading this and thinking about your own quit time...try to get your life together before you jump as best you can. Begin to care for yourself physically. Try to tackle the source of your stress. Create a support system. And take time to create your escape plan. I am not sure it matters whether that plan is kratom, suboxone, methadone, a short duration of loperamide, a slow or fast taper or just jumping off with comfort meds to cushion the fall. Having your life in order and your plan in place should increase your odds of finally getting the fucking monkey off your back.
Well off to get some more work done! Hope you are all hanging tough. I am.