Day 8 of Taper
Good morning all! Although nothing about it feels good currently. I freaking dread morning. Woke with my usual hell issues about 15 minutes ago, took 10 loperamide, 1.5 tsp of kratom, and stumbled downstsirs to make coffee as I know there is no chance in hell of me falling back to sleep. Sleep sucked but it was better than the night before. Insomnia is what I personally struggle emotionally to handle.
JBM, do not worry about your slip. 1/2 a pill to function is no big deal. Just try to hold it there. I have to tell yoi all that last night before bed I was feeling bad enough that I decided maybe I was moving too fast. This shit has a long as half life. What I am feeling now is probably my cut from 4-5 days ago. So anyhow I took 2 more loperamide at bedtime along with motrin 800 mg, and 6 valerian capsules. That made my daily dose 12, same as the day before. I didn't drop but I managed to hold. Not beating myself up. I want off of opiates. If my wean has to slow to do it, fine. I just promised myself to never go up and am hoping I can do it.
Cam520, Yes, I do think it is the most important part. Well that and having your mind prepared. This shit is mostly mental, with physical hell tossed on top. But to me the way out is by thinking your way out. As for sorting your life, if you are in the middle of heavy life responsibilities, like caring for small kids or an aging parent, in a difficult time in your relationship with your partner, have just lost your job and are trying to stay alive financially, it would be a very difficult time to quit drugs. Right now I can focus on this and on my health. I have not had an oxy in a month. This makes me proud. Are you tapering right now? Thanks for joining the conversation...you are welcome anytime. I am going to be here awhile.
Hydroxyout, how you doing today my friend? How are those big boys? I did do the Bengay and it helped some. The motrin surprisingly worked well. I plan to keep taking it.
Well, so today I took 10 pills after holding at 12 for 2 days. I will see how today goes and perhaps I can keep at only 10. The reality is the max OTC dose is 8 pills. OTC doses are always set a bit lower than what the company knows to be safe. For instance, Zantac OTC is 75mg but prescription strength is 150. I am NOT saying that it is perfectly safe to take high doses of loperamide. I am saying though that I believe taking 10-12 of them is very close to therapeutic dose and highly unlikely to be dangerous. Now, staying there forever could be because this drug accumulates in your fat with time. (The reason I am using a sauna) So I have to keep heading down.
Today is another busy day. Work until 6pm and have a presentation with students. Hang in there people and keep kicking!
Jungledog added 14 Minutes and 24 Seconds later...
Forgive me. Just re-read your post. Apparently my coffee had not kicked in yet! Yeah, focus on you while on maintenance. Then slowly taper when it is mentally time. I will be here to support you.