Quitting Oxycodone with Loperamide- My story begins... - Part 39

By Jungledog · Nov 7, 2014 · ·
  1. Day 15 of Taper, off Loperamide, Day 2 of kratom taper

    Woke feeling a little crappy but not too bad. The gabapentin and restoril are really allowing me to sleep. The symptom I struggle with is insomnia. I can handle all else. Insomnia fucking kills me. :mad: Anyhow, I took 1.5 tsp of kratom at 6:30am. My plan is to just get to tapering. The shitty feeling is never going to lift until I get off all of it and start to heal my overworked brain.

    I have never felt good on kratom. It prevents straight out illness but it is no oxycodone. It holds me only. As such I just need to work my way down. The past few days I got lazy about the exercise. Time change kinda screwed that up. I do not like to walk at night by myself. But I do have a rebounder and I need to get my sorry butt into that sauna. Time to get my shit together and do everything I can to succeed.

    Hope you are all well and still kicking! We have a good team. :) And for those just lurking, if you want off your DOC please know you really can do it. It is possible! Hydroxyout, Roxywarrior, Opiatebattler, Roaddog, and many others are living proof. I plan to join their ranks. So can you.

    Hugs and best wishes,
    JD

    Jungledog added 280 Minutes and 49 Seconds later...

    Mid Day Day 15

    Limping along. Just took 2 tsps kratom. I measure it carefully with real measuring spoon. Know a scale would be more accurate but not convenient, especially away from home. The 1.5 tsp did not work very well this morning so thought maybe I need to just stay at 2 until I feel a little more stable and loperamide works its way out of my system. Hanging tough though...no opiates, no loperamide. And doing just fine. :)

    Check in with you all later!
    JD

    Jungledog added 197 Minutes and 56 Seconds later...

    Hate the fucking hag. Bitch has been whispering all day. I mean it is really, really bad. If I had oxy, I'd have taken them already. Won't get home from work until late which sucks but I need to go do some intense exercise to get this to ease up. Ugh. Starting to feel crappy too. Double ugh. Just want to be done with this already. JD

    Jungledog added 207 Minutes and 38 Seconds later...

    Well, I am surviving. I did NOT moderate my use of kratom as planned. Hell I am just glad I got through without hitting my bottle of hydrocodone. My pain is all jacked up too. I dealt with that by taking a shit ton of ibuprofen and I think the kratom may have helped too finally. That might be because I finally felt bad enough to take 3 tsps of kratom (yeah in one dose). So my total for today is 8.5 tsps. Now I guess if I remember that when I used it to maintain previously I would take 5 tsps 3-4 times daily...so honestly better than my track record but still sucks.

    Not taking on schedule. Waited to take until I was feeling shitty but today was a day where I needed to function. Tomorrow morning I have one business meeting and then I can just be sick if need be. I will try to do better. My biggest challenge is I simply can't be off work right now. This coming summer I could actually take a month but that is just so far off. Ugh.

    Going to go heat up my sauna. I am not up for exercise but at least I can force myself to sit and sweat. Tomorrow I can exercise during the day and get some sun. Hope you are all doing good.

    Hugs,
    JD

Comments

  1. JonBenetMom
    HI friend-
    We are both chugging along but still moving forward!! It is HARD. Sometimes I get moments where I forget but then I realize how long I was dependent on pills and I try to give myself a break for having a tough time. This will not last forever. And its actually probably a GREAT thing when we hit bumps in the road because if we ever start to "crave" opiates again we can remember how AWFUL it can be to reclaim your life!!!

    I am so thankful you shared the story you did about the overdose mom at work. The huge doses of tramadol I was taking could have EASILY cause me to have seizures and although I was aware of that I still did it anyway. I have a child with a disability and I cannot fathom him being left behind. I was playing russian roulette and I have to live with that shame. So even though it is scary and awful to admit these motivators out loud in front of the world - I feel like they have to be said.

    I hope you have a nice relaxing evening a peaceful night of sleep!
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