Hydroxyout and JBM,
Love your poems. It is strange how powerful words can be. I lay here at 1:30 am yes got
4.5 hours sleep and then the general shittiness woke me. Just took another restoril and a .5 tsp kratom. Hoping in 30 minutes I will fall asleep.
So my thoughts on God are he is not some separate entity . He resides in all of us. So I see him as a deep spark in my own soul that grants me additional power when my body and mind get weak. Anyhow what is cool is we each find power in words and music and I see this as a way out. A way to fight craving, a way to remind myself that I can do this and my life will be ok without opiates.
I am an academic. I think statistically. Stats of getting off opiates and staying off remaiin at 5%. I am stubborn. When I get my mind on things, I want to do it and will no matter the source of hurt. It is just who I am. I love my job, my family, my pets. I am not willing to fuck this up with drugs. And so my taper will continue to zero.
I plan to be in that 5%.
Sitting in a hot shower. It helps the achiness. JBM, do NOT swirch addictions. Yes, use the kratom but begin to taper once off Tramadol. Yes you have your son. Today I will see approximately 90 patients between 3 facilities. I must be on my game so I understand the need to stay functional to care for others but do not use the child as an excuse to keep using. I want you in the rose parade hun, I really do! I say this with nothing but love going your way.
Ok achi legs letting up. Going to try to get back to sleep for 3 hours. Love you guys and you are part of my inner power...those sparks you bring to the table to help me and all of us. I really do love you for it. JD
Jungledog added 17 Minutes and 54 Seconds later...
Yes the book is comprehensive. If you can read the first few chapters that explain the yoga. Then simply do the poses in 2 chapters; the one on insomnia and the other on anxiety/depression. Force yourself to do daily in the evening. You may need help holding some of the poses at first but it really, really works. I saw a difference in sleep around day 5,
Hope you are well.
Jungledog added 234 Minutes and 1 Seconds later...
Day 21. No fucking clue on day of Kratom taper but holding today
Shitty night. Of course today my worst work day. I am beginning to think it is mental. I know this is my hard day so I am thinking about the intensity of what is coming. I love being with patients. That is not the issue. The issue is the sheer volume of our practice. We see 90-110 patients daily and we do it in 9 hours. There are 2-3 of us to handle it and we do our job well. That is the fucking problem. Our patients refer and on any given day we have 10-15 new patients. Getting nuts. I think there is finally talk of hiring another full time provider.
Ok I have to go get ready for the marathon. I took .5 at 2am. Just took a full tsp of kratom at 6am. That means to hold the two subsequent doses will need to be .75tsp. Going to take a shit ton of gabapentin. That should help. That and motrin for my aches.
Wishing you all the best and love,
Jungledog added 39 Minutes and 28 Seconds later...
And I am now down 7pounds!!!! Plant based really helps