Quitting Oxycodone with Loperamide- My story begins... - Part 65

By Jungledog · Nov 15, 2014 · ·
  1. Bad pain day. We are attending a really politically important university event tonight. After I literally spent 4 hours using ice, heat, and motrin my husband was like "I understand you want to quit and you are afraid of the pills and what they have taken from you but maybe you need to be more realistic and know you might need one time and again." I was sitting crying in the shower and thought "fuck, he is right." I have been so fucking laser focused on getting clean and never, ever using an opiate again that I perhaps am not being real. Being perfect, that is me. All or nothing baby.

    So anyhow, I took ONE pill of hydrocodone 10 mg with zofran. (My usual oxycodone dose was 60- 90mgs)..I am not high and my pain is certainly not gone but it took the fucking edge off enough to function. These pills have been sitting here the whole time the past 7 weeks so not a big temptation.

    Hoping this doesn't screw everything I have been working for but doubt it will. I KNOW I can't go back to taking them daily so please no lectures. I am already beating myself up about taking it so nobody else needs to join in. :(

    Anyhow, just want to keep this journal honest. I so hope I have not just made a big mistake. JD

Comments

  1. lostlygirl
    Sweetie, you need to do what's right for you. Please be kind to yourself. You took it because you were physically hurting. Sometimes we are just stuck between a rock and a hard place. Remember that you took it for the reason it was prescribed, that is very different to what you were doing before.

    There is a VERY big difference between using them for their intended purpose vs. abusing them. You took the very lowest dose to control your pain. Your husband is right. You have a legitimate injury that may at times require a dose of narcotics. Does that mean it has to be every day, no. This is your first one in 23 days. That's HUGE, girl!! That means you can keep your dose minimal, and that's really great news :).

    Hang in there, hun, and I am so so sorry your hurting today. Have a fun night out with your hubby. :)

    I will check back in later and see if you are doing better :).
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