Quitting Oxycodone with Loperamide- My story begins... - Part 69

By Jungledog · Nov 16, 2014 · ·
  1. LG,

    I have no idea how many chronic pain patients really need narcotics but I think many do. The reality is you are damned if you do and damned if you don't! I mean I need narcotics sometimes to control my pain but now that I am basically off the opiates (except for that pill yesterday) I find that my pain is the same or better most days. I have something called a brachial plexus injury...that they missed initially and of course it is better treated initially. I can't change it and I struggle to know what to do. I do know that I will NOT be using narcotics regularly. No good comes of it.

    Do not apologize for challenging me. Yes, digging up shit makes me emotional and of course worsens pain. I mean people use to numb up both emotional and physical hurts. My rapes occurred 30 years ago. I have thought about this stuff for a very long time and along the way I think I have worked a lot out in my head about it. My initial response when I think about it is still anger, then guilt and shame...but with time that has shifted a bit. I mean on some level with the passage of time...I have come to accept it and just move on. If I spend my life thinking about this shit, then to me I am just stuck in the past...a victim. I don't want to be a victim. I am a survivor and despite the things that have happened to me I feel strong and yet care about others. I just have to let it go. Make sense? Holding onto it just drags me down and continues the cycle of hurt.

    Still feeling OK and have not taken kratom yet. It's a little weird. I mean did I just hit the time to step off? I mean was 7 weeks the magic fucking number for feeling better? I am tired and have a headache. But other than that I feel better than I have in awhile. Have no clue what is going on.



  1. lostlygirl
    Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I woke up for the first time in seething pain today.

    I ruptured a disk with my 3rd child in 1999. I was in excruciating pain and the Dr's said, and I directly quote "I was a stressed out mother who was looking for a way out and they were not going to give it to me", meaning drugs. I was stunned, I hadn't ever been on anything. I mean I was in agony. By the time they finally got around to an MRI (because I insisted) I had permanent, irreversible nerve damage. At that point they were willing to give me the pharmacy. Idiots. I can't feel most of my left leg and a big chunk of my lower back. My right leg hurts all the time, it just varies with how much. I had disk replacement surgery in 2005 to halt the progress of the disease. I just found out a short time ago that the disk above it has now ruptured. My Dr is trying to mitigate that before it gets too bad.

    I understand the frustration. Do you chose pain or drugs? I know I take more than I need. I know I am not good with pills. I know I abuse fentanyl. So what do you do? It's frustrating. The truth is that I think narcotics have pretty much stopped working effectively for me.

    Either way, it's an issue that we both will have to find a solution for.

    I completely understand being frustrated at the victim mentality. Nothing makes me angrier. If you don't like something, change it. I find that sitting around in a puddle of self pitty very annoying (that's not saying I haven't indulged myself from time to time... :)). My ex was that way. Everything was somebody else's fault and when something bad would happen he would get this helpless mentality and give up. I seriously wanted to scream....

    I would think that around 7-8 weeks you would be having good days. PAWS usually only lasts a few months so you may have turned a corner. Perhaps you just needed something strong enough to get you out of this current pain cycle? I also think that 1 oxy every 7 weeks for legitimate pain is totally acceptable. You had it on hand for when you need it. You are using it for its prescribed use.

    I am happy you are feeling better today, despite the headache. You deserve a break from all this. Enjoy the beautiful weather! We still have show here. I seriously hate the winter, Gggrrrrrrr...

    Hugs xxoo

    PS. I am sure your husband would have liked to have "taken care" of the scum that raped you. I know I would have.

    lostlygirl added 6 Minutes and 17 Seconds later...

    I was just thinking that I finally made a post without typo's....but no, lol! Typo's are the bane of my existence. :)
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