Quitting Oxycodone with Loperamide- My story begins... - Part 86

By Jungledog · Nov 20, 2014 · ·
  1. LG,

    I am holding and I did go up on the kratom dose as I realized I was going to fast. In my head, I was trying to time a jump over the holidays and realized I was killing myself. I am more aware than you know of my issues. I know I push myself harder than anyone. It is ny nature and I am doing the best I can to slow down and love myself. Today has been ok so far. Resumed Gabapentin and feel much better. The 2 tsp dose of kratom seems to be holding me. Only symptom is fatigue but shit I have not slept for days so that is to be expected. I have a long work day. Check in tonight. Hugs and thanks for caring, JD


  1. missparkles
    LostlyGirl is spot on with every word that she wrote, JungleDog. What is the point in being drug free if you're in such a painful place physically and emotionally, that's not what recovery is about sweetheart. It's all about taking back your power from an addiction that almost stole it from you. But regardless of what was going on "way back when" and it's all about the "here and now" isn't it? Don't forget just why you began doing this, it was all about improving the quality of life, firstly for you, and then by extension your husband and children...right? Seeing you in this amount of pain and stressed the fuck out must be causing them worry and concern. Sometimes you need to stay right where you are, tread water for a while, cut yourself some slack. You are someone that inspires others, but with that comes a certain amount of responsibility, love. As has already been said, if someone were to come to this site and write about the pain they're experiencing, pain similar to what you're going through right now what would you say to them?

    Your body has this amazing ability to tell you when it's not feeling good, when it hurts, and when it's ill, and at the moment your body is telling you all of the above. I know that I'm just reiterating most of what LostlyGirl has already said, but that's simply due to the fact that her post was so correct. You wanted to quit using so that you could have a better life...correct? Well this isn't it. I'd have to go further and say that perhaps you need to level out on what you're currently using, perhaps even put your dose up a little, then stabilise on that dose. It's no good cutting down so quickly that you don't give your body time to adjust to each reduction, cuz it will come back eventually and bite you on the ass. And it can even take longer to get to drug free if you don't allow yourself the time to get used to each reduction, as each time you get to this point you have to stop your reduction and become stable.

    There's no book or wise words that say just how we should quit, or how long it should take, and any advice you're given you should seriously consider before trying it, as we're all so different and each plan of action used is just a template for you to possibly think of using. So far you've done so well love, you have loads of support, now you need to start listening to that nagging little voice in your head that's telling you that you shouldn't be in this much pain, as when we do stuff that's good for us it should quite quickly begin to get better...right?

    Take it easy and don't push yourself so hard, eh?

    If you wanna chat please feel free to message me.

    Sparkles. :vibes:
  2. Jungledog

    I hear what everyone is saying. I have not felt well for months! I didn't feel well on the med nor tapering them. I feel fairly comfortable today with the kratom and gabapentin. I was pushing because I simply want to feel well!!! I am holding for a bit and will hang in. This is all I can do. Thanks for your concern,

  3. Golddust Woman
    Hi Jungledog,
    I am glad to see that you have decided to stabilize on the Kratom. I sympathize with you, as the situation is exactly how it is for me right for me right now. I, too, am so done with Oxycodone and just want to be done with these slave makers. You stay in my prayers always. I truly hope you can get some real sleep soon.

  4. marathonmel7
    Hi Jungledog, just thought I'd check in. Everyone has already stated the obvious here. Your quest for perfection is wearing you down and you simply cannot sustain it. I recommend that you do hold and try and allow for your body to regain some of it's strength. You are doing an amazing job and there is no time limit to recovery. You have a goal set in a plan in place and that's the most important thing. You have done an excellent job.

    Anyway, I too am here for you. Keep fighting the good fight. You will get there. Allow yourself to experience a wonderful holiday season with your family. These next 6 weeks are special. You don't want to miss out because of a stupid taper. You can do it.

    I wish you all the best and will continue to check in. Slow down woman. Take it one day at a time and listen to that beautiful body of yours.
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