Re: I feel like I or the Benzos ruined my bloody reputation HARD.
My pet hamster writes:
I like your reply beentheredonethatagain. I agree. But what you gotta understand is that THIS IS HOW I LOVED MYSELF. Get it?
I like this place because it feels like it's an outlet correct? And I like letting stuff out. Here's where the catch comes in though; I used to say whatever because I was pretty Benzo'd out or whatever. So I posted whatever wherever. But since I started coming down off the Benzos I started to realize that more people read my stuff than I was aware of. Little metaphors or hints would come my way from actual people that I would run into IN PERSON. And it would piss me off because I like my space. In fact I need my space.
I honestly thought this site was more private. And I don't know if my past is that interesting to others. But it finally occurred to me that people I knew or know were following my private shit. Hell even some I don't know. And that ain't right.
I ain't gonna hunt you down and start digging into your past only to shove it in your face eons later.
I understand how we have to let stuff out to recover. And that is part of loving myself, which is why I used this site.
I'm starting to realize more so though that if that's how it's gonna go down than I'm gonna have to start a DEAR DIARY. Correct?
Because honestly. We let out our pains to get rid of them correct? But if someone brings it back up than eventually you're going to have to let it out all over again. And what's the point in that?
So whatever. Now I know.
And it ain't you guys or the people who have actually been supportive.
Let's just say, I had some unexpected visitors in my ass.