Seizures and hallucinations...I only thought I had hit rock bottom before - Part 6

By kava_dreams · Feb 17, 2015 · ·
  1. Alcohol is just too easy for me to get. Like if I want weed/pills/whatever I have to get in touch with people and my anxiety and social phobia make it hard. Plus the laws are so much harsher against illegal shit that I sometimes get paranoid about having stuff lying around.

    Literally whenever I go out to get groceries, out to eat, see a movie my first instinct is to order/buy alcohol. There are hardly any events that don't serve it. You can be in the fucking potato chip aisle and then wham giant display of wine or something.

    So I try to stay inside my apt all the time when I'm detoxing. After awhile I'm pretty much physically okay. That's when I realize that I don't really like doing anything without a buzz. Favorite shows...boring, friends...out drinking, reading...can't concentrate. I am this close to going out and picking up a liter but then I'll be right back at the fucking beginning again. I think most addicts start out just being psychologically addicted and then after years it becomes physical.

Comments

  1. Scloud90
    I think its a progression of both, a controllable psychological habit that once it becomes physical dependency has already rewired the brain and your fucked.

    I know what you mean I cant stop staring at the liquor isles at the grocery stores, especially if family are with me, if they just saw me staring for no reason theyd be like wtf not again.

    You dont get to have many friends as an alcoholic either or relationships lol. At least I think its a bit difficult, I cant really effectively progress with my life if im always drinking.
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