starting a new life.....Again....after toxic drugs and relationship - Part 2

  1. Thank you Tryhard. Much appreciated.

    andherheadpoppedoff added 71 Minutes and 34 Seconds later...

    Here goes.
    Remembering the good times is hard right now but its good to unravel it all as the devil is always in the details.

    I was the new person at work so many conversations were had about who & what I was. I was reserved but friendly to all, even if I knew right away that someone was going to be weird & petty.
    A group of co workers had decided to go on a camping weekend, I was invited. I said sure to be nice but left my options open, I did have other things going on and knew if I ended up not going I would hardly be missed. The group assembled for a luch date to decide who could bring what, I arrived, sat quietly figuring if anything was needed of me I would be asked. These people had longer histories together, I didn't want to push my way in.

    Out of the blue my spouse states jokingly that we should all have to show our talents while away, a talent no one else knew they had. Spouse turned to me and asked me mine. I said straight faced " I could do a pretty mean Tina Turner proud mary" and " yes, I did have the dress at home" my answer seemed to tickle them & and made their eyes dance.....it was so cute to watch my dear then.

    Fast forward, time for trip. I was pretty sure I would not be going, in fact was making other plans when I recieved a phone call. It was K (spouse? ex spouse?). K said hope ya dont mind, I asked office for your number. I can tell your probably not planning on going, are you? Thats why im calling, I want you to go. I was floored. K is very good at reading people, I didn't know that then, thought is was me.
    I conceded, nothing was set in stone. That is where it all happened. On a silly get away camping trip.
    One night we decided to go walking, four of us. Two completely drunk but not k & I..we talked while playing with the drunks. We later kissed. Next day...more. I felt very odd later that I allowed this to happen with a co worker. I tried to make light and distance myself.

    K said dont worry & besides they genuinely were interested. I had found out K had a daughter too. Daughter lived with them. During meeting K time I was trying to decide if I wanted child support from ex. The threats from ex became louder and louder, I knew i would need all the help I could get to give daughter all I wanted but didnt want the hassle. K must have seen this as a good crack and said "I will do that for her"..I fell...

    K said let's live together, I really didn't want to leave my happy little home that my daughter now called the big house. She was almost 2 and loved the huge rolling hills of the back yard. But if I had decided to be with K it made no sense to stay in a rental when K owned a home. Off I went, thats how I got to know my step daughter. She was that perfect age of 12. Most insecure, worst time to mess up their world....

    andherheadpoppedoff added 22 Minutes and 41 Seconds later...

    If this all sounds very fast it is because it was....another dubious sign...the trip was over a long july weekend, we had a Friday off and added a monday to it. By late August we decided to move in, by Halloween I moved in & by January we were married.

    The obvious control started with the step daughter. A pattern was already long in play before I got there. K loved but never hugged daughter. K controlled daughters diet because k's mother was obese and didn't want her fat....lots of messed up logic in that one...k's daughter was "not allowed" to lose a game, it had to be played over & over until she won....weird but okay maybe K wants to teach how to play sports??? K had guilt for leaving other parent. K felt bad after first divorce that k had partied a skosh too much and left daughter with mom for overnights.k felt bad they had worked 3 jobs to keep the house and didn't get the time THEY wanted with daughter. In the end K feels bad for controlling every single part of daughter's life.....misguided love?? Idk...did it all backfire and made daughter an uncontrolled sociopath who kills every kind thing she touches because she never got to make mistakes young? Yep...

    Sorry if off track for anyone who read but it will all make sense later.

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