Well I haven't quit yet. I seem to be waiting for something. I just use, feel OK for 10 minutes, then just wait. I wait for tomorrow so I can try to quit again. I am going crazy doing this, and I have to just do it. I looked for work today, and found some, but I can't start work before I rid myself of this fucking destroying habit of mine. It's completely destroying what I have left of a life. I'm glad I can write here and vent. I feel like I am talking to someone, and I need that. I feel numb and I am sick of this. What will it take for me to quit?? Wake up, me! I watched a documentary yesterday about WW2 vets, and boy oh boy am I ever a sissy! What these guys went through is indescribable. Pain, suffering, sadness, trauma, all this because they felt they belonged. They had a sense of purpose. I almost joined the armed forces a few years back. Maybe I should have. I was all ready to start basic training and I decided to not go forward with it. I had a good job at the time and would have had to leave. But maybe joining would have given me that sense of purpose I seem to be seeking. I dunno. I sure hope tomorrow I am sick enough to grow some balls and do this. Time is running out and I gotta pick a side. I am losing my mind.
Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 4 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.