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    PLEASE HELP
  1. Hello,
    I took @aemetha 's advice and decided to try out these journals. I have been trying to quit heroin for a bit over a month. I have been failing every single day. I'm at a point where I am asking neighbors for money and I'm loosing all self-respect. I am also having suicidal thought but I don't think I would go through with it. The thing is, I've manage to quit heroin before, about ten years ago, and only relapsed last April. I was even able to use once within those ten years without falling back into it, but now I seem to have lost all willpower. I'm scared I will loose everything if I keep this going. My spouse is at her wits end, and is probably about to give up on me. I'm not too sure what I'm doing here, I just thought I'd write what is going on, and hope that the outcome will be different this time. I've used today, and like every other time I have every intention of quitting, but I'm petrified because I know that tomorrow morning I will find some stupid reason to ask for money, and before you tell me or blame my spouse for giving me money, let it be known that I can be a master manipulator. I truly love her but I feel like I have absolutely no control over my actions when my mind is set. I've tried to get ready, I've been taking vitamins for the last month or so and have been trying to eat, but I am still terrified. I'm scared of being sick, and I'm also scared of what will come after.

    I'll leave it at that today, and try to write again tomorrow.

    I've been using around 1-2 points on average for the last 6 months, IV.

Comments

  1. Lolo from crazy woman
    Then quit today tomorrow never comes and it's never too late to start
  2. Kevin james garner
    I really feel for you it dosent mean your weak its such a physical adiction I know people that robbed banks being dope sick I'm a real whinnimg boob when kicking, just be glad it aint methadone my wife and I just cold kicked a heavy long term habit I had a 250mg a day dose and all min were take homes real codusive for habit forming and I loved it just got tired of driving to SLC from Idaho falls every two weeks and the money and not being in control, I wish you luck ive never able to kick outside of incarseration but I've been threw it more than a few times now xanex helps even this fucked up shit they call Meth helps change the mind set get out of the house as much as you can, that methadone took two motherfucking god damn motherfucking months all I did was fantsize about dieing my wife said she would rather give child x10 than go threw that again so it could be worse ,hang in there
  3. James Caldwell
    I don't know if your goal is to be completely sober, but if medication is an option, there are alternatives, like methadone, vivitrol, and suboxone/subutex. All the ones I mentioned are medications that you take once a day in order to get off heroin. Methadone is just a regular opiate, and since you can easily abuse it, it's very difficult to obtain by prescription, however, there are methadone clinics all over.

    Suboxone is a revolutionary medication that contains two drugs-one opiate, and one opiate antagonist. To put it in a non scientific nutshell, if you wanted to get an idea of how it works, the simplest explanation would be to say when you ingest the medication, the opiate and the opiate antagonist metabolize(digest) at the same time. An opiate antagonist is a chemical that blocks your opiate receptors to keep you from getting high. In nutshell, taken once a day, you don't get high, even if you tried to shoot up, the medication would block the heroin or any other opiate drug from getting to your receptors that metabolize the drug. I've been on it for two years and found 2 years of rather easy sobriety.

    Subutex is nearly identical, however it lacks the opiate antagonist that suboxone has, so many people just end up abusing that. I would advice against this, however if it's the only thing that works for you, go for it, it's not nearly as strong as heroin and is overall much safer than heroin.

    Vivitrol is a once a month injection that keeps you from getting high for around 40 days by using a chemical related to narcan/naloxone, called naltrexone. It lasts a very long time, however it does not contain anything to help with the withdrawal, so in my own opinion, unless you were extremely desperate, only take vivitrol after you've transitioned to either suboxone, methadone, or subutex.

    My personal recommendation would be to go to your doctor and tell him/her you have a heroin problem, and would like to get clean using suboxone, and after a period of time decided by both you and your doctor, transition to Vivitrol injections.


    However, if you want to go 100% cold turkey and not be dependent on any medications, and you decide you don't want to try the vivitrol route, you could always go to your doctor and tell him/her that you're detoxing, and ask if they can reccomend any medications to help you through withdrawal. The doctor may reccomend clonidine and/or a benzodiazepine such as Xanax, Valium, Ativan, or Klonopin, but usually only a 10 day supply, so if you decide to go through with that route, make sure you stick with it, otherwise you'll have less medication assistance next time you try to detox.

    I hope some of this helped you. There are other, less known ways of getting off heroin, that I wouldn't reccomend without speaking to your physician before even considering, if none of the options I listed helped, feel free to message me and I'd be happy to tell you the less common way, but it's definitely not easy. I'd really reccomend going to a doctor/clinic and explaining yourself honestly and asking for suboxone. Most people with a large tolerance start on 8mg, which was enough for me and I was using a gram a day. Hope to hear back from you through thread update/private message.
  4. Coldchicken
    @James Caldwell Thanks for the info. I have decided to take the cold turkey route with no suboxone. Maybe I'm crazy. I will remember this one, I hope.
  5. Kevin james garner
    I've never gone the suboxin route sounds like changing adficts I've also herd its easy to decrease and welk off met several that sold there subs to buy the real thing it just a fucked up situation cause when I use I feel normal so coming off seams so abmonal and the withdrawls makes me e
    Want to kill somethimg ,glad fuckig proud happy there no opiates lurking in my body I just kicked a long methade habit and then pills life's still not good deression no energy no ambition but I'm my own person nowi might not like myself alot but not led around by me balls, that methadone starts out like a goof relationship you feel great you have tons of emergy and you cam slee anytime and its a great sleep you completly lose your lebedo but the dope is your baby just watch how you dote it and protect it and prioritise it, but she becomes a very high maintenance bitch its has to be fogiref into every plan thatd going on on your like welcome to the junkie life only now your federaly progfamed leming and paying for you show up without fail like a cow at milking time
  6. Coldchicken
    @Kevin james garner Yeah I hear ya. I'd rather be sick and rid of the whole thing. Starting to get sick now actually. My stomach feels like shit and then some. Good job on kicking everything man.
  7. Coldchicken
    well Im doing it, Im sick, day 1.
  8. Coldchicken
    I will finally be using suboxone. I dont have the willpoweer to do this cold turkey. Fuck. I fell bad.
  9. Coldchicken
    Update. I relapsed again. Tomorrow another try. This is my last chance. I will try to detox as fast as possible. Get the shit out quickly. I will spend 3 days in the tub and take walks. I will feel terrible but I have to do this.
  10. Gamer guy
    Instead of getting dope you should try getting help. Go and make an appointment to a doctor you can go see. you will feel better knowing your helping yourself.
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