The battle with the bitch on my back - Part 6

By opiatebattler · Dec 6, 2013 ·
  1. Im way over due for an update.

    I have 8 days until I move 5 hrs north west to my propert I am calling 'Utopia'. Utopia is where I am going to grow my own fruit and veg. We will rescue chickens and hope they lay us eggs. My daughter says the land I have brought IS big enough to put our 2 future horses on, I didnt think it was.

    Im currently living in a huge family house that used to have 4 generations of my family in it...6 people in total. I nursed my grandfather and grandmother at home as long as I could. They only spent a few weeks each in hospital before passing on. They were in their 90's and had fullfilled a good life. Their passing was the right time for them. Nan faded quick after pop died as he was her soul mate.

    My sister moved out and got married , leaving Dad, me and my daughter. Dad had Asbestosis, Lead poisoning and Emphysema all in his lungs. He worked but needed a lot of assistance at home.

    Dad worked full time. Then got sick on wed. Sat I called an ambulance. The following Wed we turned off his life support.

    The Drs said they didnt understand how dad was managing to work. He had no lung left when we got to hospital. All the air sacs had popped. His only option on "living" was a tracheotomy and being bed bound and nursed by me 24/7. Dad was a proud man and would definately not have wanted that.

    About 18 months before this dad was in hospital with swine flu and pneumonia. He was in for 3 months. The day I took him to hospital they could not get his breathing stabilised. It got to the point they were about to do the tracheotomy. I was told there was a chance things could go wrong and if his heart stopped, what did I want to do? I said 'We cant lose him yet. Do all you can and make him live'.

    I didnt feel this was my choice to make. Once dad recovered I told him whst happened as he had no memory of the first few days. I asked my dad what he wanted to do if I was faced with this decision again. I told him I understood if he was sick and tired of being sick and tired. It had been a 12 year battle.

    Dad asked me to 'let me go mate'. So when faced with this decision again, I carried out dads wishes. We held him while the life support was removed and propofol was increased. It took 10 minutes for him to pass. We held him. We watched him change colour. We heard him take his last dying gasps.

    My only solace was my sister andbi got to do what dad wanted done. This was dads choice, not ours.

    (To be continued...later today)

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