Re: The Beginning of Her End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today.
Blergh! Just posted a positive entry and it is lost to the etherworld. It was probably too long anyway and I guess not meant to be read.
Essentially, I had a great run and very positive thoughts during said run. Conclusions arrived upon: the negative self talk that the addict gives into truly aids in imprisoning the addict. Imprisoned in the cycle of self-loathing, using, feeling good, self-loathing, etc, ad nauseum.
I thought about how would I react to my daughter if she came to me with this problem. I would respond with the love of a mother. I would support her if that was what she needed. Not shame her, not make her feel guilty. And during the first week of W/D, I really gave into that negative self talk. Shaming myself, thinking of my actions and making myself feel sick. But that is not the right path for recovery. I have started treating myself as I would a loved one who was asking for my help.
Should I not love myself as I love my children?
Anyway. Off to a SMART meeting.
The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 12