The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 12

By Sleepynurse · Jan 21, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: The Beginning of Her End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today.

    Blergh! Just posted a positive entry and it is lost to the etherworld. It was probably too long anyway and I guess not meant to be read.

    Essentially, I had a great run and very positive thoughts during said run. Conclusions arrived upon: the negative self talk that the addict gives into truly aids in imprisoning the addict. Imprisoned in the cycle of self-loathing, using, feeling good, self-loathing, etc, ad nauseum.

    I thought about how would I react to my daughter if she came to me with this problem. I would respond with the love of a mother. I would support her if that was what she needed. Not shame her, not make her feel guilty. And during the first week of W/D, I really gave into that negative self talk. Shaming myself, thinking of my actions and making myself feel sick. But that is not the right path for recovery. I have started treating myself as I would a loved one who was asking for my help.

    Should I not love myself as I love my children?

    Anyway. Off to a SMART meeting.

Comments

  1. Cmenot
    Re: The Beginning of Her End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today.

    It sounds like you are really turning the corner!! Take your life one day at a time right now. I think its very important to talk to an attorney (first consult is usually free) and protect your career. Great to hear you have a supportive family. How do you like the Smart Recovery meetings?
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