The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 25

By Sleepynurse · Feb 8, 2015 · ·
  1. Re: The Beginning of Her End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today.

    Hey guys, I'm okay, alive anyway. Stayed at my sister's all weekend but feel like I need to go home today. I miss my kids and my sister's house is kind of disgusting...

    Husband has been pretty much texting me nonstop and my daughter said he told them I didn't want to be a part of her family anymore. She's fucking six years old!!! Who does that.

    I'm scared to go home. I don't want to engage with him at all. He showed up here around 0545 this morning, demanding to be let in because he wants to see my arms because he is certain I'm using again. I just kept telling him I don't care what he thinks, I wasn't letting him in the house. I understand those could be valid concerns but his approach was completely wrong and I do not think that is why he really came over.

    I don't know what to do. I feel so lost and the pressure from everything happening feels like more than I can bear right now. I'm getting hopelessly depressed. I just want to sleep/disappear. I know I sound pathetic.

    I'm just not feeling particularly strong at the moment.

    Yesterday was four weeks clean, so that's good.

    Sleepynurse added 128 Minutes and 41 Seconds later...

    I'm home. My mom is here, too. He read this thread over the weekend but hasn't said anything to me yet about it... he seems calm. I told him I would only come home if he left me alone and is okay with me sleeping with my daughter.

    He is absolutely terrified of going back to prison and I think that is keeping him calm...

    Sleepynurse added 5 Minutes and 5 Seconds later...

    As soon as I saw my daughter and son my heart lifted. My girl said, "Mama, you look sooo beautiful!!" It was so random but very sweet and welcome.

Comments

  1. Snake.Pristin
    Re: The Beginning of Her End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today.

    Hang in there, you only need two to four days clean and you're good, I think the hard part of physical WD symptoms are over ,and now comes the hard part of the physiological WD symptoms .In which you will feel lonely and think that your life is empty without it , im going through stuff like these but i didn't go cold turkey as you state, because i was very deep in the dependence area :( i tried but couldn't so i found a few alternatives but today im 9 days clean from any sort or type of medication ..anw i don't think you wanna hear my story Eh ? :p , worry about yourself and hang in there you will be okay just believe in your self and say I COULD DO IT !!!! , Soon you'll be back to a more perfect life and a lot more life-experienced than you were before ! . I hope you make it .
  2. Jungledog
    Re: The Beginning of Her End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today.

    Sleepy,

    Just checking on you. I am worried for you. I know what it is like to be in a failing marriage but my husband was not verbally or physically abusive. You mentioned that he doesn't want to go back to prison. Is he willing to get counseling? Does he understand that his actions are controlling and abusive? His statement to your daughter was just stupid. Grown ups do not use children as pawns to hurt each other. They do their best to make things easier for their kids no matter how angry they are.

    Keep in touch.
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