The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 30

By Sleepynurse · Feb 23, 2015 · ·
  1. Emilita,

    Your admission touches me! It really does. I remember all the threads I read before I joined and those will always stay with me as being integral to my recovery. I never even commented on any of them but those people's stories are so important to me.



    Sleepynurse added 310 Minutes and 41 Seconds later...

    So just wanted to post. For the first time since I've been clean, using really popped into my head right now for some reason. I was reading a thread on iv`ing morphine and that was very triggering to me. I've read numerous threads that pertained to using opiates but this one was a trigger for some reason...

    I feel embarrassed to even admit this but I think it's important to be honest about what I'm feeling.

    I'm really sleepy right now and just thought how nice it would feel. Just the thought makes me feel like a failure.

    Going to go do a really intense leg/butt workout and have faith that I will feel all better afterward.

    Sleepynurse added 242 Minutes and 8 Seconds later...

    Okay, guys, not going to lie, I was feeling supremely shitty earlier. Just laid in bed for a long time after my last post... then I put on my big girl panties and went to the gym. Did strength and a jog and I feel infinitely better than earlier.

    I did have a cigarette for some reason and I never smoke... I'm not gonna beat myself up over it.

    Just wanted to let any interested parties know that I didn't use today. Six weeks clean yesterday. :)


  1. Golddust Woman
    Dear Sleepynurse,

    I am glad you are staying clean. I know the temptation to use can be overwhelming at times. Just post and don't be embarrassed about it. You have really come a long ways in a short time. You should be very proud. Sending positive thoughts your way~~~~>
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