The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 31

By Sleepynurse · Feb 25, 2015 · ·
  1. Thank you so much!

    I'm having a really hard time this week. It's like I just feel emotionally weak. My willpower is tapped out.

    I'm lonesome, really, really lonesome. TMI warning but I haven't had sex in 20 days which is a REALLY long time. So it's like I'm battling cravings for sex and drugs/alcohol.

    I won't with my husband. I won't with a stranger. So I'm just really lonely. I know it sounds pathetic but I need to be held. Soooo badly. Like I would pay a stranger to pretend they know me and cuddle me. Not really but you hopefully understand.

    Exercise is only helping so much. My intensive outpatient helps but only so much. Today is just a weaker day. I know not everyday feels like this. But today it's bad. I feel like I have no one to talk to and definitely no one that could truly help.

    Sigh. There is no real point to this post. Just need to feel like I'm talking to someone, I guess.

    Best,
    Sleepy

Comments

  1. Cmenot
    I admire your courage and honesty! I believe its important to be completely honest.. to help yourself but also to help others who might experience the same feelings and can be prepared. Try to keep in mind that every time you successfully battle a craving, you become stronger and the drug addiction becomes weaker. I used to think of the drug as a little devil sitting on my shoulder whispering in my ear. Do not invite him in...smack that little bastard!
    Ask yourself: are you tired? hungry? thirsty? angry? premenstrual? Have you been taking your vitamins...
    I understand lonely... new friends will enter your life in time... try to spend this time getting to know you...or read a book... are you bored? Sad?
    Things will get better, sometimes we have to take two steps back to take one step forward.. healing thoughts sent your way sleepy!!
  2. Jungledog
    Sleepy,

    Is there anyone you can exercise with? An exercise class would be a good place to make new friends!

    You are not alone. We are here. You can always come here for support. Many hugs to you! You are making it my friend...one day at a time. Smack the hag when she comes to call. She is weak and you are stronger.
  3. Golddust Woman
    Sleepynurse,

    I know how it is to have that lonely feeling. It sucks. You are going through a lot of changes physically and emotionally. Take time to do something nice for yourself. The suggestions of Cmenot and Jungledog are right on. I have bad days too, where I feel so lonely like no one in my life understands. It passes. I know it doesn't make it any easier to know this when these feelings hit you, however.

    We are here for you, so vent to us when you need to. Life will and does get better as we strive to stay on the right path for each of us. Wishing you a much better day. Golddust:)
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