The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 32

By Sleepynurse · Mar 11, 2015 · ·
  1. Hey everyone, my husband committed suicide yesterday. Obviously, you knew he was unwell and we had been having a lot of problems.

    I haven't told my kids yet but keep us in your thoughts.

    My recovery is still going strong. I'm pretty fucked up right now, my mom and I found him. But no thoughts of using or drinking. 60 days clean. I'll write more later. I have still much to take care. Please keep all of us in your thoughts.


  1. ianzombie
    Fuck, that's terrible. I am so sorry for your loss, i hope your children are able to adjust.
    You are in my thoughts today, be strong.
  2. Sleepynurse
    My anxiety is so high. I slept for a little last night. I'm so fucking sad. My journal was the last thing he read before he did it. I just don't even know right now.
  3. Ghetto_Chem
    You will definitely be in my thoughts, and don't let the fact that he read it right before get to you. I have a feeling I know the reasons why he did what he did after reading this thread, but honestly all you need to focus on right now is your recovery and your kids. He is gone and all they have left is their mother, they need you now more than ever. You can hash over the why's in time.

    I will send every bit of positivity I can your way, day at a time sleepy..

  4. john123470
    My thoughts are with you, Sleepy Nurse !
    You are simply trying to sort your life out and you have always shown due care and concern for all around you.

    I don’t know of what use I can be but please feel free to DM me if you want.

    I know you can get through this. Much love, John
  5. mrs.badger
    Oh my Lord, SNurse, I am so so sorry. I hope you're not alone right now; you mentioned your mom was there? Let them take care of you for a little bit.
  6. Jungledog
    OMG!! That is fucking awful. I am so incredibly sad for you and your children right now. Sleepy, you are an experienced nurse so you have had pysch and you understand the whys. When you are close to it, it is next to fucking impossible to step back and review the act without self blame. Suicide is a selfish and desperate act committed by people who are usually severely depressed and often in the anger stage. NOTHING YOU DID caused this. This is NOT on you. Your journal did NOT cause this. His anger and depression did.

    Take care of yourself. Love your children. We are here to support you as best we can. I wish you all the love in the world right now.
  7. Golddust Woman
    I am so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your children. JD is right. This its not your fault.
To make a comment simply sign up and become a member!