The Beginning of My End to Addiction/Incredibly Rough Day Today. - Part 39

By Sleepynurse · Mar 21, 2015 · ·
  1. Thanks guys, getting ready to leave and I'm so so wanting to pick up a bottle of something hard. It's overwhelming. My hands are shaking as if I was detoxing just thinking about it.

    Sleepynurse added 19 Minutes and 4 Seconds later...

    I won't relapse. I'm using all my "tools of recovery". I feel like a tool.

    Edited to add about seven hours later: just got home. Very emotional but I survived it sober.


  1. Cmenot
    Great job Amy! You are amazingly strong. You're kids are blessed to have such a great Mom! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers...
  2. prescriptionperil
    Although craving is understandable, picking up alcohol at this point could be disastrous. I recall reading in Joan Didions book, "The Year of Magical Thinking," that the experts recommened not during to alcohol after the death of a loved one.

    I had a nephew commit suicide, which was hell on my sister. He chose the same method as your husband. Extremely painful or the family.

    Although you're likely exhausted, perhaps some relative can watch the children, so you can run. This beats booze. There's no problem alcohol won't make worse.

    Let the eruption of emotions be okay, including the anger that commonly accompanies grief. Loss of a spouse is number one on the rated life stressors scale.

    We're all here for you.

    Glad you found a kind support group
  3. Golddust Woman
    Hi Sleepynurse,

    I cannot imagine what you are going through or the children. Just know my thoughts are with you.

    I know that you just have to go on for your children's sake
    Do talk as much as you need to about this. It will help you to get through this most difficult time. Your daughter might benefit from grief counseling, as well as yourself. Just a suggestion.

    Good for you for staying clean.

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