Re: Detox from massive IV morph/heroin 2.0, skip to post 169 for the latest detox
It's so true about morphine and constipation. I laugh when i hear people say "If you take Loperamide all the the you'll never shit again" Lope is one of the weakest constipating opiates out there.
When I was a pure heroin addict i shit like clockwork. Every morning when i cooked my hit my guts went and I'd sit on the throne shitting and shooting at the same time.
Now when I got hooked on morphine to it was a different matter altogether. I literally never shit. My stomach would get so swollen I knew something had to be done as fecal impaction can have serious conciquenses.
So if you don't want to read the gross bit stop reading now
Once a week I had no choice but to give myself an emema and spend the next half hour on the toilet in pain as a weeks worth of crap made it's way out.
Well it's day 5 or 6 i think, lost count. Doing ok this morning but my guts are killing as I drunk a beer last night, big mistake with the mass of drugs I'm on, mess me up big time and paying for it now.
So I've been wanting a tattoo for ages, it's the quote i posted in the quotes and songs threads, although the one I posted is a shortened version. The full version is a whole extra line.
Well I do graphic design as a hobby and spent ages getting what I thought was the perfect tattoo and started calling tattoo shops and emailing the images. The reponse I kept getting was that the text i wanted was way to small and as there were so many words it would be huge and blah blah blah.
Well back in my pre daddy days when I earnt not such an honest living I knew a few of those kind of guys who ride big bikes and love tattoos. So I made a call and an hour later had a massive handlebar mustached biker covered head to tow in tattoo overs with all the kit to ink me.
We spent 4 hours trying to work out how to make it fit and get fonts right and all that, by which time he'd drunk all the beer and was as battered as me.
By this point I was exhausted but being the impolsive guy i am I said "fuck it, just free hand it"
So two hours later I have have two lines of the quote tattood down my inner lower right arm. We had to stop there cos I was falling asleep and he was fucking drunk as a skunk. We're gonna finish it n a few days time.
It's nothing like the perfectly laid out image I'd created but I love it. It's a proper ghetto tat and I don't care what anyone thinks because it's my personal mantra and every time I feel scared, fear or like giving up I'll have it right there on me.
The plan is to get some more ink soon on the back of the same arm, this will be a something more beautiful and refined to off set the rawness off the tat on the inner arm. I hope by the end of the year to have a full sleeve done.
Reduced my meds today and Im no longer slurring my words and feel more steady on my feet. A bit achy but dealing with it ok so far. got 4 hours sleep so thats cool, gona try and snooze in a bit to
Hope your all doing good
Mr Bumble added 339 Minutes and 45 Seconds later...
Man well the morphine has finale let go of it's grip on my guts. Not been a good day since i posted this morning. Guts rotten and feeling shit. Ended up takig a extra diazepam and half a clonidine and 400mg of gaba cos i was so fed up. slept for a bit but had wierd dreams and kept waking up.
Finally pulled myself out of my half slumber and tried to get the the bathroom and collapsed. Luckily I'm well versed in black out by now and i know to sit straight down as I my vision goes. Was a bad one cos woke up flat on the floor and lay there for 5 mins before i dared get up.
I want off these drugs so i can not be like this but at the same time I know I would be suffering much more anxiety, depression and mostly pain without them