Re: Detox from massive IV morph/heroin 2.0, skip to post 169 for the latest detox
Sorry for going so quiet, just been a full on Xmas and lots of distractions (girls, drugs, all the usual).
But I'm still clean of all Opiates and Opioids, day something or other, lost counts but I'm clean.
So weirdly under sad circumstances I meet this girl at the pre funeral do after party.
Now this girl's moved in the same crowds and gone to the same places as me for the last 20 years, and I'd never met her!
Anyways we kinda hit it off and I get her number.
Well fuck I'm not the type of guy to mess around so I text her saying “Hey I know you can't come out NYE (she's a single mum) but how about I slip off from the party at midnight and me and you see in NYE together?” (mutual friend was putting on an NYE party in town)
Well she calls up and says how about I come see her first for dinner then I go out to the party.
Sweet, sounds good to me! Get dappered up, all fresh clothes, fresh kicks, feeling smooth, if pretty fucking nervous as I've not been on a date in years and haven’t got laid in over a year!!!!
Took a Tamazepam to calm the nerves and go over to hers, dinners nice, play with her kid then she gets him to bed. By this point I'm like super fucking nervous, but hiding it well. I totally over compensate for my massive inner anxiety with the appearance of outward confidence. That might sound nuts but it's how I roll
Anyway after a bit of a fumble on the sofa like a pair of 16 year olds we get naked. Now at this point I should tell you about my nose, it's fucked! Years of cocaine abuse have cause the lining to start to collapse and I can no longer breath through it without regular sprays of Xylometaoline. Like a dick I've missed to appointments at the hospital to have it sorted out, also like a dick I'd stuck quite a bit of coke up it at the party I met her at, also I'd been sniffing menthol snuff and neither of these had agreed with my nose, so just as we're about to get to the good bit my nose explodes, literally all over her, gushing blood!!!!!
Great fucking timing huh!!!!
Well I'll save you the rest of the details but I ducked out of hers about 10pm with a no longer bleeding nose and a grin
Get to the club and haven't shown my face out in town for a loooong time. I'm still a fucking face so it's guest list and drinks getting tipped down my neck plus a few Es (yes Ecstasy Tablets before you bad rep me for slang)
Fuck I was loving it, house music and dancing on tables, cool people everywhere, wicked night!
Get invited back to a house party after full of pretty girls and cool guys but by this time I'm totally twisted and lost the ability to communicate on any meaningful level.. Spent hours spinning out trying to make myself take the walk of shame home chewing my face off.
Finally get home and spend the next day recovering, still am!
Well Christmas is over, I planned on being clean of Heroin and Morphine for it and did it with only weeks to go.
OK I've hit the booze, yes I've used some other drugs but are they going to become a problem? I seriously doubt it. I'm back to work and being a dad and generally trying to sort my life out now.
And every time I've got hammered I've woke up thinking, wow I feel so shite, is it really worth it?
Used up my Benzo script early and had two day's with none what so ever. Had to use Clonidine to and Alimemazin to get to sleep which ain't ideal as leaves me feeling like shit in the morning, but that's the next thing to work on.
Oh think I ruined any future with party girl, a few days after bleeding on her tit's I sent her a text saying I wanted to put her over my knee and spank her. It didn't appear to go down well, shame as she seemed pretty fucking cool really.
Well if it wasn't all crazy enough over Xmas what with the detox, death of a friend, parties, drug and bleeding on a girls tits, I've met this other girl, well not even met her, random Inter-webs meeting and she's super fucking cool and super hot, like really this girls way out of my league hot!
Only problem is she's loved up and has kid with this guy.
Shit I should have done the right thing and just called it right then and there but I couldn't stop talking to her, or she to me, now things getting all a little bit confused. It's a totally unrealistic situation anyway, she's committed to trying to make her relationship work, she's the other side of the country, we both have kids, and I've got nothing to offer and major commitment issues, and only just at the start of putting my life on track, but fuck shes cool, and hot, and now she tells me she thinks I am to, ARRRRGGGG Why are all the best woman taken? Durp dumb question really.
Girls are so much hassle, I'm seriously considering going gay, I'm sure blokes wouldn't be so much grief?
Oh JD or Lostly, Sorry can't remember which of you was asking after the reason for my name, Mr Bumble, It's because I Bumble through life getting myself into one messy situation after another, and this is just the latest!!!!!!!! (sorry for over use of the exclamation mark)
Well there's plenty more I could write about, always is in the life of an Bumbling Idiot but I'll leave it here.
Well it's 2015 and so far so good, no Opiates and I'm still feeling really positive about my ability to stay clean. Staying out of trouble of some kind though I doubt will happen, that's just how it goes with Bumble, between drugs, girls and fighting I'm always in some kind of shit and it's only a matter of how long until the storm hits, fuck it could be a matter of mins if my ex reads this
Peace and all tings good for all the DF massive in 2015