Hey JD thanks for the hugs and understanding. Kratom is still available here but the cost is what is shying me away from it. That and a good, clean source. What I am finding is about 4x the cost of my script and based on the stuff I've read from DF, the amount I need would be about 6-9 teaspoons- or maybe it was tablespoons. I can't remember, might have been you or RoadDoggy that had experienced with them, but you guys were also using lope too. Not sure how that is going to play out here if I just taper off with Oxy and no other comfort meds- other than what I can get from Walmart. That is kinda covered in the Thomas Recipe.
I am one of those people who have to always have control and safety nets in place when the shit hits the fan. Kratom is a sliding scale and I'm ok with trying to figure out dosage, it's if it is going to cover my pain. The two big fears I have is getting my Oxy cut off w/o warning- which I won't be able to handle and being in pain.
As for work- I don't care what I am doing. I just need to be doing something when I start detox. It does seem a bit count intuitive to work during the w/d but if I don't have something to do I won't quit.
I'm still on my Oxy but after reading how fucked your brain can be from this drug, I'm leaning towards weaning off. I just don't know if I'm ready to do this. The issue is I don't HAVE to right now but I don't have a timeframe for when the rug is getting pulled out from under me. It took me about a year to get ok with the weight loss surgery and that was because I was comfortable in my fat. I lost 125lbs in 6 months. I don't have any side effects from it other than some lingering IBS. It did bring back some eating disorder habits but those for the most part are under control.
I'm not sure what I want to do and it's stressing the hell out of me!