There will always be ups and downs

By Loni · Apr 7, 2019 · ·
  1. No matter how happy we are in ourselves, we are still going to have down days and days where we feel tempted to use again. We will make excuses to ourselves for why it would be ok to use, just that once, but it's our choice to accept these temptations will always crop up in our lives, for the rest of our lives and it's the choice we make each and every time that will determine the course our life will take. We might tell ourselves, just this once, just a small amount, but it never stops at that once and always ends up more... It happens without us even realising it, let alone wanting it, next minute we are back where we started....
    I, for one am consistently aware of this, and when I get those feels and start thinking of those excuses, I stop and think about everything good and positive in my life and where I'm going and where I want to be, and how far I've come. I then choose not to use again and know deep down, I don't need to, I don't truly want to and so I don't.
    After 20 years of using every day, and yes feeling like I couldn't get through the day without using to where I am now, almost 12 months clean, I don't ever want to go back to where I was. If I feel like not doing anything and I have no commitments for the day, then for the first time in my life, I don't do anything, I just kick back with Batman (my parrot) and enjoy the feeling of stopping. This is something I didn't let myself do since my sons deaths, now I not only let myself but I also encourage myself to stop and smell the roses!!
    I don't need drugs to be alive, I'm plenty alive without them and I've learnt that relaxing is not a bad thing but something to embrace and enjoy.... Have a great day all...
    PastorFuzz likes this.

Comments

  1. PastorFuzz
    Thank you. Your entry was just what I needed to see at exactly when I needed to see it.

    You're enthusiastic about your recovery without being a zealot. You're upbeat in a way that generates positive energy. I'm always better for having read your entries. Thank you for that BTW!

    I don't hear you playin games. You always impress me as genuine and unpretentious. You're the real deal. You walk the walk and I've come to have enormous huge respect for you.

    You're a real lady with natural class and you deserve everything good that comes your way.

    Many enthusiastic but not overzealous hugs to you!!
      Loni and JaneGault like this.
    1. Loni
      Thank you. I'm so grateful for my life and the opportunity to help others in any way I can just by sharing. To be honest I'm a little lost for words. Thank you
      PastorFuzz likes this.
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