The higher dose of buprenorphine is a big success. It took a few days, maybe a full week, but I have no opioid cravings or really any cravings at all. This was the right choice, and to think I was prepared to talk my NP (nurse practitioner) into going back to the smaller dose. The request for prior authorization was received by the clinic and submitted to my insurance company; the clinic called to say I should hear something by Friday. I just hope it goes through. If it doesn’t though I’m sure we’ll figure something out. I refuse to lose hope or to give up. Oh, and I got the privilege to see my NP once every 4 weeks instead of 2. That’s great since it’s about a 1 hour 15 minute drive to the clinic.
I’m back working with my NA sponsor, although we haven’t started any step work yet, we just talk by phone every day so that I can check in about how I’m doing. I go to as many meetings per week as I can, but with school and work that comes to about 3. Also see the therapist once a week.
So in the land of addiction all appears well. But I’m really struggling with my mental illness.
The increased quetiapine (800 -> 1600 mg) is too much to handle without napping all day, and that’s not conducive to having a life — no, cannot function on 1600 mg of quetiapine — so I’ve just been taking as needed haloperidol for the voices. It works like nothing else and it lasts longer than the quetiapine..... I just have to be wary of side effects. I already have tardive dyskenesia, which honestly I don’t mind too much, I just hope to not get pseudoparkinsonism again, (pseudoparkinsonism is like having Parkinson’s disease in that you have trouble coordinating your movements only it’s not actual Parkinson’s disease it’s just caused by a drug) that was horrible when I had it in February. But I’m at a much lower dose now than I was then. Watch and wait.