This seriously needs to end today is zero day.. - Part 4

By skateandpaint · Aug 17, 2014 · ·
  1. IM still clean. Had hot flashes like crazy all night at work thank god i didnt make tips cuz i probably wouldve brought a bag.... But im sitting up in my room now like i have been the past 3 days. Just dont feel normal atall. Im usually such an easygoing happy/ guy and right now i just feel like garbage that couldnt tell a joke if he tried. I wanted to tell my mom on the ride home but i just couldnt do it. Its my last semester at college and i told her im going to make her proud and almost wanted to cry. It kills me to keep this from her she thinks it was my friends or me at this point cuz she questioned me about the missing money and jewlery. Im afraid that she will tell my brother and go crazy worring about me because i leave for college again monday. I feel like if i tell her now its going to make things worse. But everytime she brings it up it drives me crazy inside. I have such a weight on my shoulders its unbelieveable. Im just fucking lost

Comments

  1. detoxin momma
    good job so far.
    this is why I say tell your mom.
    its impossible to ignore guilt unless your like a sociapath or something like that.
    it will eat you alive and you may even start to feel physical symptoms from it..

    no matter what she says or thinks you are her son and she will forgive you.

    telling her will set you both free from that.
    and you'll be able to move on to more important issues,like detoxing.

    leaving for college isn't going to make you or her forget.

    youre doing a great job and no matter how shitty you feel it will pass.
    the sooner you clear your conscience the better.for everyone.

    keep your head up and don't lose sight of your goals.

    this isn't the end of the world,more like the beginning.
  2. N1ceMarm0t
    Well said. All of it, but the quoted line struck me as Gold.

    Keep on fighting, skateandpaint!
  3. skateandpaint
    Hey havent been able to post because my new place does not havw internet yet. Its been an ok week feeling kinda shitty. Work has been keeping me going but at home i dont manage to get anything done. This is going to be a long shitty process
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