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  1. Stumbling isn't even a complete fall to the ground, it's a miss step, a tree stump you kicked while not looking down.
    Even so, it's still embarrassing. It still etched out a small piece of your ego and a notch from your pride.
    It doesn't matter how many times you trip over your own two feet, as long as you always pull yourself back up.
    Accept that stumble for what it is, a hiccup in the road, slowed you down for a sec but you didn't waste any time lingering or looking around to see if anyone saw you.
    You saw it for what it was. And here you are, headed towards your destination.

    That is how my road to recovery has been. I have a consultation in the morn at 10am at a Substance Abuse Treatment Center. Guess they are gonna decide whether I'm broken enough for inpatient treatment, slightly broken for intensive outpatient, or a little broken for group therapy and classes.
    Yep, I'm a smoker, a roller of the glass bowl, a lover of the methamphetamine games. And now it's time to be an EX lover of those games.
    Its always fun trying to be in control. You thought that you had a say, you somehow thought that your thoughts mattered, that it would make a difference in the outcome. But from the moment you played, you already lost.
    You never even stood a chance.

    But you do now.
    Now you've earned the right to fight.

    The choice is mine whether to use or not. The choice has always been mine. And now it's time to accept responsibility. It's all about a better quality of life for me, a better mindset, healthier lifestyle.
    Today is my last day of rolling a bowl. Today is the last day of my stumble. Who cares who saw me? I corrected my footing and kept moving.
    I'm so happy to have found DF. The support on this site is amazing, no matter what part of the journey you're on, there's someone else to talk to.

    Thanks everyone, wish me luck.

Comments

  1. calico moe
    Great outlook. Meth is a hard one to kick. I was on it in ‘09. It made me want to bust out dancing when I got to that certain place.
    Part of the pleasure was packing the oil burner and melting the shards. Like all drugs, there’s a process we’re addicted to, too.
    My counselor tells me to keep busy. I’m on my first week sober after 23 years straight on various substances. I need to volunteer ASAP, to keep my mind off it. That’s good advice. I used out of boredom or distress. Without the boredom, a huge aspect of my drug use will be alleviated. I recommend keeping busy. Otherwise you will just long for it.
  2. justanotherhit
    Hello! I hope the best for you quitting smoking meth. I struggle day in, day out for three months now. I was clean seven years before this I forgot how painful the process of treating methamphetamine addiction can be. I feel just within these three months I've become just as addicted to the process of smoking as to the meth itself. Smoke for hours on end and highly enjoy it.

    I thought I'd use for a weekend to cope with a relationship that had just ended. It's now kicking my ass but I believe it's because I'm letting it.

    I like what you said about it being 'my choice'. It is our choice and I also choose to live a richer, fuller life than what meth has to offer.
    The second you use again I believe it is not your choice any longer but that you are now overwhelmingly under the power of something far more powerful than one without the experience could possibly imagine. Strong willpower and a mind made up to quit is no match for a brain under the influence of such a drug.

    We will struggle daily. I want to give up trying and just want to see where it takes me. But I won't. I will not take the easy road. I'm at the point it's nearly meth is worse than death.
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