Too Young For This Shit, My struggle with heroin. - Part 2

By dehollister · Sep 26, 2014 · ·
  1. That makes perfect sense, and is spot on with what I'm struggling with.
    I've been clean off the heroin for a week, and what you described makes perfect sense, life is just so dull and "not worth it" not in a suicidal sense but more in a motivation sense. It's been getting slightly better though. Like you said I did some cocaine and drank with a friend last night to just kindof escape myself for a bit.

    If I never had a problem with my cocaine or alcohol consumption before is it dangerous while I'm struggling with heroin? Or afterwards? I can stop after 1 rail 1 beer easily and without anxiety.

Comments

  1. LuLu81
    If you can drink recreationally then that is good as when i last got clean i substituted the heroin for alcohol and a lot of ex addicts i know have done the same. Then when i finally stopped the alcohol, went straight back to using.
  2. Staggered slash pipes
    You still have your whole life ahead of you. Tapering is the best way for me. Some prefer cold turkey with comfort meds, tramadol, imodium, and clonidine for spike in bp your body may have due to the stress. I have been clean a little over 2 years and I miss it still some days just not every day.

    In the beginning when I was detoxing and first 90 days after the meetings every day helped calm the jitters I had and let me know I was not alone. Others have beat this and so can you. Fill your time with alternating AA or NA. Every day will get better with the cravings and PAWS. Remember your using buddies have to be a thing of the past. You will make new friends. I found a sponsor at NA that was real. Please don't give up. Relapse is part of recovery and you are so worth of the many awsome things in life for you being straight. I was a dumb ass and thought being straight wasn't cool but stop and look at some of the rock idols we see today Dave Navarro, Steven Tyler and many more. They are still cool in there own right but they made it to the other side and so can you.
  3. curiousonlooker
    If you're struggling with an addiction, especially mind and body altering substances, then yes it is dangerous to substitute coke and alcohol. Only because you're not capable of determining a default setting, and will want to use any substance the way you used your DOC, and that's just how our brains works, off patterns.

    Understandable to do so, but you've got to take it easy on yourself while you're still figuring out your baseline without drugs. The addiction is to "not you" or to just one aspect of your brain alone, with no other voices and all the surrounding parts, that in fact make up the pure good feeling in your brain, muted. Dangerous stuff, our brains are powerful things and even more dangerous when the owner is ignorant of his or her own power and its use.
  4. taman
    Hi, I stopped with heroin this September 23rd, it wasn't easy, three days of hell, and that kept me as I was hoping to feel great after, I believed that psychological part is not going to happen to me, as this was my first time ( I thought so) to be addicted, I just didn't count that I started with weed when I was 13, mdma 14, first time tried H 15, cocaine 16/17, tramadols, subs 4years on and off, but Indeed I don't remember having a hard time, I managed to continue my education ( tho still a student) get jobs, travel to so many different countries, went to all crazies european festivals, so all of this gave me the idea that I'm ok, I'm not a junkie, my perspective of junkie is different. And now, now I know its gonna take much longer ( i was just 8 months on smack, but getting high too often for more then 13years) and that it isn't just about last 8 months.
    It was interesting that I'd to move to a different country to quit, otherwise would be to hard with all my junkie friends around me, I was expecting to travel after 3-4 days and I'm stuck in a cheap Vietnamese hostel room :) and I did something similar, got high on meth kristal, tried with alcohol, tried tramadols ( im really sick of it) Then I got to the point WHY, why would I stop? Why when everything was better while I was on it, now I lost weight and when I'm clean I actually look like a junkie, my job is good, it's a kind of job that is easy to do high, even better as a stage job, who likes to perform sober ?? That really made me feel so bad that I couldn't stop thinking about getting back where I live to start all again, I think my situation is a bit different, most of people on H get lazy, down, they don't care about most of things, but somehow its different for me, I'm doing a lot, working, caring for the others, I also don't like to sleep and can't, its somehow upper and downer for me (depending on my mood) most of people are surprised about that, not sure if that's because I'm pretty active anyways, maybe too active....
    Did you go cold? Maybe some methadone or sub would help you, but again it could end up bad as its addictive and then you would just exchange addiction, ( sub is 8 days, check it out) still it's better to try with it then to get back to H, we in Europe can get it for free, just need to register. How is it in Canada?
    I'm not sure if it is coz of the meth from last night, but somehow i can see something brighter, I think its getting better.
    I know my story is not really positive but I thought sharing could help you or someone, It also feels good to share it :)
    I think moving to another country can help, I also believe that helped me before, when ever you change a place it takes some time to find things, also it gives a new enthusiasm to our life, new people..
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