Too Young For This Shit, My struggle with heroin. - Part 4

By dehollister · Oct 10, 2014 · ·
  1. I'm strating to feel a little this way, I can complete all my goals but I will cut short the ones like reading or working on a project. Instead of doing the full hour im supposed to ill only do it for like 20-30 mins. I was feeling really really good despite daily obstacles up untill now. I'm feeling very anxious and unsettled today. I have been drinking coffee faster than normal today so I'm not sure. The anxiety has kinda been eating me today. I don't want to use, knock on wood. But i'm feeling really uncomfortable in my body right now just on a generalized level.

    I've had a firey spirit the last week and I feel as though it's drained a lot of my spiritual energy. I need to get it back, but bringing myself to meditate and not just pray has been difficult the last week.

    ont the + side, I'm 21 days clean today!

Comments

  1. opiatebattler
    Congratulations on getting clean!

    Just wanted to share a few things that have helped my recovery from heroin and methadone addiction...

    A walk in the sun each morning is the best thing for motivation and depression that I have found. I've had depression for 20 years. I'm now medication free and I believe my morning walks are a large reason I'm doing well. Taking time to focus on the simple things like a bird or cloud formations. Walking releases endorphins and the sun gives vitamin d.

    Coffee will increase anxiety. I used to drink loads of coffee. I now have 3 mugs a day and I feel better for it. I get my energy from eating good foods regularly. Eating regularly also helps brain function. I dont doubt you know this, as a long time addict i forgot to nourish my body.

    As long as you are doing things, give yourself credit for what youve done. If an hour is too long, cut your time goal back so you can meet it. Then add minutes on as new goals. Then you can be happy youre improving. For me, music helps work go by easier. I also feel better when i do something instead of putting it off. The more i push myself, the easier it gets to do things.

    After 5+ months clean I still think about it. Now though I don't act on it. I distract myself. Time with other like minds helps. Talking about the battle. Laughing regularly, doing my art, singing, a bit of work, rest when I need it, rewards when I can and looking after myself are the things that have carried me through and will continue to.

    With the negative thoughts I have trained myself to push them aside and think of more positive things. That wasn't easy but was possible. And I had some very self pitying and disturbing thoughts. I now count my blessings instead of tallying my grievances.

    At 34, I'm too old for this shit anymore.

    Stay strong...This is a battle and the prize is your life.
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