Tuesday 5th March

By Millenny · Mar 6, 2019 · ·
  1. Monday was drug free. But I gave into myself this afternoon. It seems I can get through a day or two without picking up, but then I feel suffocated in cravings, and give in.

    Did lots of work, but turned up late to dinner at our flat. I was so nervous and paranoid when I eventually arrived. Could hardly eat or make conversation. I used to be so organised and proactive. My addiction causes me to be a let down to my friends. Nose is noticeably loud today.

    Friday after work I will go to NA.

    1g 5pm - midnight.
    Since 1st March: 4g

Comments

  1. PastorFuzz
    There's something to be learned in what you experienced and in the way you expressed it in your entry. It's a direct cause and effect; you got high in the afternoon and felt like crap in the evening. It ain't enjoyable no more. Try to stay mindful of that simple equation: get high=ruin day... before you succumb to the next craving that comes up. We learn thru repetition. Keep trying. Don't give up and soon you'll make that connection every time you start to reach for the drug.

    To be honest, I hadn't consciously thot of it in quite that way in quite some time, even tho it's pretty basic. I'm one of those people who often can't see the forest for the trees. Then I read a comment by a friend of mine on here today that reminded me I need to also work harder to stay mindful of how I'm actually gonna feel if I succumb to my craving. Hang in there. I hope you continue your entries

    Oh yeah, BTW, many thanx @jazzyj9!
      Millenny and jazzyj9 like this.
  2. Millenny
    Thank you so much for the kind words, it is such a support reading your advice. I learnt that lesson today, I gave in and ruined what should have been a lovely evening.
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