Utopia...the place of healing - Part 24

By opiatebattler · Oct 21, 2014 · ·
  1. Thank you Kitts and Charliecat...

    Fuck it was hard work getting to where I am now. I look back at my last post on the day I went to rehab..."scared, sick and broken", that sums up how I was. I doubted I would get better. I thought I was too far gone. Just an old junky whore with nothing to live for.

    my how that has changed! I threw myself into the Grow program. I took on community spirit and started doing things for the greater good. Looking after myself made me feel better. I made 2 solid friends I hope I have for life.

    When I couldn't see anything good about me, others did. They told me how intelligent I am. That any creative pursuit I put my hand to is a success (cooking, singing, art). I remembered how to be funny...i love making others laugh. I now know I've got too much inside me to waste my talent.

    That doesn't mean life is always easy though. I'm struggling today. On the verge of tears. I miss my daughter. I feel resentment slowly building toward my sister. Apparently there isn't enough room for me to stay at her house when I'm in Sydney. I'm upset that she has my daughter and I can't go spend a few days with her.

    I'm not sure how to broach the subject with my sister. I've been enough trouble to her and I don't want to stress her anymore.

    I had a really anxious dream about confronting her last night. That hasn't helped. But dreams are just dreams.

    I've decided that I'm not going to stew all day. I'm going to call Grow and talk to someone. Maybe they can help me come up with a solution.

    I will have a shower, go for a walk, put some music on and do some work around here. It's another beautiful day up here in NW New South Wales.

    Thankful for my sobriety, my home, my freedom, clean air and water.

    opiatebattler added 6 Minutes and 26 Seconds later...

    Feels like a good day to paint!

Comments

  1. tryhard
    A mate , here's something I know ya already know but , I figured could be so close ,,, you know the forest for the trees shit. .
    YESTERDAY CAN NOT BE CHANGED.
    IT IS IN THE PAST.
    ALL I CAN DO IS TRY MY BEST TODAY AND PLAN FOR A BETTER FUTURE....

    SOME WORDS OF WISDOM FROM. .......

    GOOD ON U MATE. ....

    ANDREW
  2. SoozyQ
    Hey OP,

    Haven't been near a computer for a while, decided to check DF, and your update was the first I read :)

    What a great update :applause:

    I am so happy for you. I also hear you when you say it isn't always easy. But you have looked after yourself and loved yourself enough to put the time into healing. So many times on DF (and elsewhere) people say, 'I don't have time/have too many responsibilities' to go into rehab. But what is more important than leading a healthy, happy and fulfilling life.

    I guarantee, your long term relationship with your daughter will be awesome. You will have shown her the importance of taking care of yourself and that anything is possible in life. What a wonderful gift.

    Is there anyway she could come and stay with you for a short while? I hope so.

    Again, congratulations on the huge progress you have made. And for keeping this thread updated. You are an inspiration :thumbsup:

    xxxxxxxxxxxx
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