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  1. I am just wondering, why?

    Why exactly this thing?

    Willpower? Maybe. But then again, I have been through things that really takes a strong willpower to get over them. Why is this a problem for me?

    Like I can pass an exam (And force myself to actually do it) in the same day I have had a heart attack , but I can not beat this fucking addiction?

    Just- why?
    Why I can get all the terrible things in my past (Like being raped for several times), why can I try to build at least some carrier in spite of all of this and can not bite a simple addiction?

    I do not consider it as desease, because I think that in the beginning everyone chooses to use or not, to try or not. Thinking of it only like it would be a desease addicts are enslaved of is just the easiest way how to escape from responsibility over his or herown life. We are free to choose, but we have to pay for every choise we have made.

    Correct me if I am wrong!
    I would like to read opinions. FB_IMG_1484674634511.jpg

    About Author

    A fully functioning (have a job and gaining second higher education as A+ student) IV addict from Eastern Europe trying to keep her life togeather and fighting herown demons.Trying make the best out of her life as far as it is possible keeping in mind the fact of her drug abuse.And not to die before time.

    Familiar with drugs for more than 12 years.


  1. Sephiroth
    I'm not sure if an addiction is a disease, I lean to think it is, but I consider your reasoning as incorrect, I mean, you've said it's not a disease because at the beginning you can choose to use it or not, but you can choose to be infected with flu or with HIV (by exposing yourself to the virus) and they're diseases anyway.
    1. TumajNuri
      Have you ever heard about "healthy addiction"? It's not considered to be a disease. This kind of addiction is beneficial and even valuable to our life. I am addicted to drawing and painting, psytrance and black metal music, meeting Asian angels, family, friends, playing billiards, reading and writing, herbal teas. I am an addict, but that does not mean my addiction is a weakness or menace. Sometimes addiction is my best friend, but other times it is my worst enemy.
  2. aemetha
  3. TumajNuri
    Addiction is entirely misunderstood, especially by those who have never experienced it.
  4. Theko
    In my expirence with my addiction to alcohol I did find that Willpower was a problem,
    not so much in the way that I couldn't sometimes fight the addiction with pure Willpower.
    But that ultimately I couldn't continue to do it that way for very long.
    Because as an alcoholic my will would often change into wanting to have a drink.
    If that makes any sense?

    I feel I understand now, that my addiction was something I couldn't beat in a fight.
    Like getting in the ring with Mike Tyson, it wouldn't matter how much I tried or how much willpower I had I would never win.
    The only chance I feel I had was to say, ok Mike (alcohol) you win, and then not get in the ring.
  5. LittleBabyNothing
    You mean- like giving up?
    1. Theko
      Yes, but only giving up on the addiction, not on anything, for me it was alcohol, I just gave up on alcohol, I didn't give up on myself.
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