First off, I wanna say I think this website is amazing. When my dog Zoey gets high she likes to post and read here, she always finds herself coming back to this place.
Anyway - So, around exactly a year ago my friend Shelby was hanging out with a friend from work, let's just name her Raye. It was like the weekend of New Years or something and Shelby was going to stay at her house and get drunk and etc. So, they buy this huge bottle of vodka and take shots straight.
Now, Raye always told Shelby that she was an alcoholic, Shelby never put much thought into it and she should have. There was this guy that Shelby really really liked, and they were supposed to go pick him up.
When he calls, Shelby knows she's too drunk to drive. Shelby is not a stupid person at all - she just happens to make very bad decisions when trying to make good ones. Shelby told Raye that she was not going to be able to drive, she was too drunk after about three shots halfway full in a big, full sized glass.
Raye promised Shelby that she knew her limits and knew when she was drunk, she was an alcoholic! She knew what she was capable of and not capable of, so Shelby let her drive my car and she was with Raye going to pick the guy up.
On the way back, they passed this intersection. They had the green light, and everything was normal (Shelby was pretty wasted so it's somewhat of a blur to her). Shelby was jamming and singing to her radio and all of a sudden she hears this terrifying metal smashing noise and feels a huge jolt
Shelby really thinks her heart actually stopped when this happened, she was in complete shock and she didn't know what to even do with herself. She yelled, and said "Raye, What the fuck was that?! Stop!" but Raye was on probation and didn't want to get the police involved.
They got back to her house and Shelby got out of her car and walked to the front of the car. "I'm drunk, I'm just imagining things," she thought.
Then she saw the front of her car and had a breakdown. This was her first car and she had only had it a couple of months. She got it in October and this accident happened in December. She saw her headlight hanging by a little wire, her drivers side finder was fucked up and bent beyond belief, and she just lost it. She started crying and freaking out.
Raye tried to hug her and calm her down, but to be honest that was the last thing Shelby wanted was to even touch Raye. She trusted Raye! Raye had even told her before leaving, grabbing her by both sides of the head, "I promise, I won't let ANYTHING happen to you or your car." That was the statement that made Shelby believe her.
Shelby's friends tried to tell her it wasn't too bad, but looking at it she thought otherwise. Her father had bought her that car, and as she still lived and cared deeply about what her parents thought. Her friends tried to tell her to convince her parents that she got hit in a parking lot; which would have made NO sense due to the damage of her car.
So, finally Shelby called her parents. They were pissed, screaming outside at 10 p.m. Shelby's mom was so upset and Shelby was too drunk to console her.
Basically, when arriving home and checking the damage the next day, it was determined that the car Raye hit was actually turning left at the intersection (turn left on green if the road is clear,) and tried to make it before our car impacted. Raye says they didn't stop because they ran into her; and the evidence suggests it. If Raye had simply just been too close to the left turning lane at the intersection, the other car would have scraped Shelby's car all the way down the side.
Long story short, (not really) Shelby then had trouble sleeping and driving. When she drove, she would get anxiety attacks. She would constantly JUMP when a car pulled out turning right, thinking they wouldnt stay in their lane. She was always worried about the lines on the road and not getting too close to them. It was just an OCD fit, basically. So she got prescribed this WONDERFUL medicine named "Paxil"
Shelby has been on Paxil for a few months, and found out recently that in order to get more, she has to take a drug test and spend $120 at the clinic. (yes, clinic)
They basically told her "You should never stop taking an antidepressant or antianxiety cold turkey. Ever." but then, they want her to pay $120 to come in for a checkup and for a drug test? It's just not worth it. It's not even about the drug test, it's about the money. $120 is a LOT of money just to get a drug.
So, Shelby has one pill left of Paxil and decided last week she was going to stop taking it. She made the mistake last night of looking stuff up about the drug, which tramatized her. Like, the withdrawal is supposedly worse than a heroin one? And zaps to the brain, depression, mood swings, basically she was going insane. She started noticing herself being a bitch to her friends 2 days ago.
Shelby has also started smoking pot and she LOVES it. Last night she was an emotional wreck, and then smoked pot and everything disappeared and she felt so much better. She doesn't understand why this can't be available. Especially when it's so easy and fun to offset symptoms.
Shelby is going through withdrawal right now and tried to talk to her best friend about it; who said, and I quote, "poor princess doesn't have her pills". Yeah, withdrawaling and hearing that was just great for Shelby.
Shelby is considering marijuana for use until her symptoms subside. Probably even after that, but who knows. She just wanted to post her story (even though i'm sure literally no one is going to read all of this) because she doesn't think she really has a good support system to help her make it through this and she needs one.