Write Up

By PastorFuzz · Mar 10, 2019 · ·
  1. 3-10-19 Screenshot_2019-02-28-11-46-50.png
    I blew thru 8 trees in just 2 days, movin fast, pushin hard, and I sustained lotta lil superfluous injuries, none of which meant shit, but the accumulation of which had me down for the count this morning. I overslept, woke up disoriented and groggy and stiff and sore, so I called my client to inform him that I'm takin the day off to regroup a lil bit. Fuck it.

    Last night I lost my internet and restored it this morning. I found myself wonderin if I'd be missed if i should vanish, or would my absence even be noticed. I like to believe my tribe would miss me, some of them anyway, and others might breathe a sigh of relief knowin I'm gone. Still others, if asked, would probably say, "who?".

    If I'm slow to respond and there are days when I'm away from the site, it's me catchin up on my writing. DF inspired me to start writing again. I'd put the pen down 6 years ago. Since going back to it I've completed one article that had sat on a shelf for 6 years and now has been accepted for publication in a trade magazine absolutely no one reads and few have ever even heard of. Boring to write. Boring to read. And now I gotta 2nd old project that's just an outline and notes. I gotta write it out and submit it, same kinda tedious vocational crap as the one they accepted, snore zzz.

    I enjoy most of the writing I do here on DF, what I consider pseudo writing cuz of the format and the need to be succinct and expedient. Editing is kept minimal in order to keep it real and to keep it timely. But that don't mean I value it less than other areas of writing I engage in, or that I don't put much heart and soul into it. There's a few posts out there I've written in blood. There's posts out there I've tapped onto my screen with tears running down my face.

    Actually, in spite of it's limitations, what I write on DF is by far the most fulfilling and most important work I've ever done. As I mentioned in an earlier entry; there's no greater gift one person can give another than relief from their suffering.

    I can think of nuthin in regards to writing more beautiful than the feelin that comes over me when a person tells me that something I wrote made a positive impact on their life. I can't think of anything else I could ever possibly write that would be more precious to me than that.

    The articles pay, and I write one every so often for one reason and one reason only; to shut people up. There is a school of thought which says I can't claim to be a writer unless I've had something published. Others say you gotta support yourself by your writing to be a true writer. I think it's bullshit. The only thing a person who claims to be a writer should be doing to justify their claim is write. That's all I believe is required to be a writer. Nonetheless, I wrote those articles just to have something in print; just to validate my claim to be a writer for the benefit of small-minded pinheads I don't give a rat's fuzzy ass about anyway. So, the few things I've had published and have been paid for are the works I least value. They're nuthin but dust in the wind next to what I strive to achieve with my pen right here on DF.

    The only other writing project I have goin is (don't laugh) a novel. I seldom waste time readin fiction cuz most fiction sux. But I wanna write a novel.

    Yeah it would be pretty cool to see it published. Yeah it would be great to make money off it. But niether money nor publication mean shit in regard to my motive for takin on such a huge endeavor. It don't really matter to me if anybody even reads it. And niether money or publication will be the criteria by which I'll judge my work to have been a success or a failure. I just wanna write it. And I wanna write it well. Nuthin more. If I can do that then I will have achieved what I set out to do. But I'll probably die before it's finished.

    I write by hand in notebooks. I write every day, at least a line, or maybe I'll proofread, or revise, or research. I do something on it every day.

    I do less dope now. Writing made that happen.

    I'm gonna post this now. I hope all y'all enjoy a decent night. Be safe, everybody


  1. Hopeless78
    @PastorFuzz What kind of silly question is that ? Of course you would be missed! Don’t even think for a second your presence here is insignificant. Lots of hugs your way xxxx
      jazzyj9, trdofbeingtrd and PastorFuzz like this.
  2. PastorFuzz
    Lots of hugs right back to ya, dear friend, and thank you
      jazzyj9 and Hopeless78 like this.
  3. JaneDeux
    I don't have much insight to offer this morning. This flu has literally kicked my butt. I wanted to leave a note and encourage you to write. It doesn't matter if you write about the latest dental implant technology for a trade publication, post an entry on DF or write a paragraph for a "someday" fiction novel. When you write, you are feeding one of your addictions, a good addiction. Nurture it, while keeping the others at a level of minor annoyance.

    I used to read. A lot. Your writing reminds me of an author I enjoyed and I kept thinking it was James Lee Burke. In my quest for rest, I have been bingeing on Netflix. Then I remembered. Joseph R. Lansdale's Hap and Leonard series. You can't really compare writers, I hope you don't take offense, I really like his work (and yours).

    Sundance made three of his novels into three series, and while not as good as the books, they have entertained me during my recovery.

    You keep writing, we'll keep reading. Jane
      jazzyj9 and PastorFuzz like this.
  4. PastorFuzz
    Howzitgoin, @JaneGault!
    Jeepers, what a stupid question. I know you're feelin poorly. Lil worried bout you, lil friend. Flu don't play. I'm super late, up all night guarding my new windshield from my drunk ass idiot naber. Sorry bout this post. U said I was a writer? But I wanna respond to say thank you for your kind uplifting sentiments even when you're down, you uplift those so very blessed to be close to you. So many many countless get well hugs to you. You make my whole day. So now I know its all downhill from here:)
    Much love &affection & friendship, thru & thru, heart & soul xoxoxoxo please get better fast!!!
  5. JaneDeux
    Joe R. Lansdale, that's the author I was trying so hard to remember. That is who you remind me of. Cold medicine has always made me loopy.

    Thanks for your well wishes. Jane
      PastorFuzz likes this.
  6. JaneDeux
  7. PastorFuzz
    Quick revision to this entry's third line from the end. It read, "I do less dope now. Writing made that happen."

    Ok, that ain't true. I got carried away, wasn't payin attention. Sorry.

    Writing didn't make that happen. Writing was a perk I derived from doin less dope. The truth is I wouldn't even be here if not for y'all. The slightest degree of remission I experience from this totally awful fucked up disease is to y'all's credit. That's a debt I'll never be able to pay. All I can do is say thank you. Thank you. Thank y'all so much for standin by me, no matter what, every single time
  8. jazzyj9
    I really enjoy your writing and think you’re very talented. I also respect your honesty and authenticity and think it’s really cool that you offer help for others on the forum. I also think it’s cool that the drugs haven’t tarnished your humanity. That’s pretty cool too.
      PastorFuzz likes this.
  9. PastorFuzz
    Many thanx, @jazzyj9, for your kind words. Today has been depressin for the most part, so thank you for helpin make today not totally suck:)

    I'm uplifted that you like my writing. But I think you gimme too much credit. I hadda chance to work a lil bit today, did some revision, but sometimes I look at all these scribbled pages and I wonder WTF I'm even doin. I probably shouldn't be allowed nowhere near writing utensils other than maybe crayons.

    In the real, I ain't a person who has friends or really cares bout anyone overly much, and I like that. The denizens of DF are an exception to that rather sad and pathetic sentiment. I care about the tribe, includin those I ain't met and even those who never fail to get on my nerves. I don't try to figure it out. It is what it is. I'm just grateful to be a part of it.

    Thank you again for takin time out for me. Many gentle hugs to you, ms. jazz xo
      jazzyj9 likes this.
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