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17years cocaine still using and its as bad as ever.

  1. Journal Description

    Hi every one ,
    my names craig, i have been using cocaine for 17 years now ,how im still alive is beyond me. I have a beautiful family , a baby girl 3years old and a partner who cant stand the sight of me most of the time,i feel like im a lingering bad smell which she cant get rid of.The truth is i want to change, im so sick of my life and how it affects the people around me but when a few days goes buy and i feel better i forget about it all, i dont want my little girl to be damaged and i dont want to lose my partner because under it all i love her so much, she just doesnt know. So im doing 3 to 500 pound a week on coke and its not getting any better i have been using like this all the time ive been doing the dirty shit and i get nothing from it it makes me paninic it makes me weird and unsociable im really living a nightmare reality and i wish i was anybody but me i dont know what i expect to find on here and i dont know if it will help i feel very alone and think that 1 day soon ,ill be dead.