Hi, Im a 29 year old male, a functioning addict with a great job, wife and two beautiful children. While I've been clean from pain pills for 5-6 years I still don't consider being on subutex as being clean so I decided to take the leap and be completely drug free.
Subutex made me feel great at first. I was full of energy and it made me feel normal but after a couple years that changed. The longer I was on it the more my dose climbed. I was also stuck on snorting the medication as it seemed to work better for me that way and gave me more of an energy boost. Over the years my body has become saturated as I've been dosing between 16-28mg. My dose was never the same I would just take it when I felt I needed it. I tried tapering many times and I just never could. I lost my soul, I had no emotions, I never wanted to do anything fun or leave the house unless I had to. My love for music left, my sex drive sucked, I stayed extremely drowsy and exhausted.
7 days ago I started a short tapper. I went from 24-28mg down to 16 for 1 day then the next 2 days I took 4 mg each day. I made the jump and have been clean for 4 days now.
Day 1: Felt great!
Day 2: Bad, couldn't get comfortable no matter what I did. Cold chills, body aches, diarrhea, and RLS but in my shoulders instead of my legs which has always been the case for me in withdrawl.
Day 3: A little better but still extremely uncomfortable and shoulders are driving me crazy! By the night of day 3 my shoulder and anxiety was through the roof. I got very little sleep as my shoulders kept waking me up and preventing me from going back to sleep.
Day 4: Feeling better than day 3. My mood is getting better, my shoulders are a little restless and tingly but nothing like the night before.
I like to hope I peaked day 2 and 3 and im on the down hill but only time will tell. I will wait as long as it takes, no matter what! Even a month of feeling like shit is better than a lifetime of it. I want to be free, I want to be a normal person again.
As of now I can feel my personality coming back, I feel emotion again, music sounds so awesome and the most important things in life have become extremely clear and subutex is not one of them.
I saw a line in the sand and it was in or out. I chose out! $200 per month that was being spent on the doctor can go to my family now and I will no longer have this hold on me!
I will try to update as the days go on. I've had it easy compared to what I expected and I know God has had a big hand in it. I owe all I am and all I have to him.
If I can do it, so can You!
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