I'm so relieved to see a post like this. I'm very new to forum stuff. I came here to discuss my life as an addict as well as to empathize with others. It's been so long since I was able to speak with anyone about my hidden ( quite poorly) substance abuse. The destruction I've brought upon myself and my family has broken me down even further than I was when I started using. I have always been an over - analytical person. I'm always thinking in circles about all of the possibilities of probable cause. What if this, what if that? I also have traumatic memories of things that happened to me and around me. Only recently have I even barely began to talk about some of it. And honestly, I need desperately to talk about everything.. thank you for posting this. I felt not so alone reading it.