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    PLEASE HELP

A aquaintance of mine in trouble..

Discussion in 'Family & friends' started by assassoid, Aug 30, 2012.

  1. assassoid

    assassoid Silver Member

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    I have a friend who first I will say is one of the worst co-dependant people I have ever met.He met a girl about three months ago now has moved her and her 4 kids into his house. So they finally have their first big fight the other day involving some pretty messed up things, things I would not put up with for one second. During all this my friend starts drinking whiskey again while abusing valium, he thinks that just because we used to be getting high buddies that I am his best friend in the world and his main "lifeline" when all it's been for the last week is me listening to him ramble on drunkenly. I have a panic disorder and he's kicking it in. I have been supportive but you can't talk to this fuckin guy when he's drinking on benzos! He rattles on and makes no sense this past week and I cannot take it anymore. I just made up a story about some bullshit while ago after him being here for only 15 minutes. I had to leave.

    I'm back home now with my phone off and not answering the door. I am alot like him but I have to stop smoking weed right now. I HAVE to stop and he brings weed around constantly. When I avoid him he gets hostile and gives me the I thought we were friends deal I am too damn old for this.I am battling addiction and I need advise on how to handle something like this. I don't need this shit, ...he won't listen to a word I say... and I am done. If that makes me an asshole then I guess i'm just an asshole. Any person who GIVES me panic attacks I have to get them away from me fast. He needs to work on his-self and I need to work on me. I just hate having to hide and tell lies... walk up to the store and around 10 blocks and come back home just to get peace. I can't do anything for him, have given the best advise which falls on drunk and def ears..... ugh!

    assassoid added 2 Minutes and 23 Seconds later...

    I must add my last girlfriend died an alcoholic death and I absolutely hate being around alcohol... the drunken ramblings....i never could talk to her and I know it's the same now with my friend.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2015
  2. reef88

    reef88 Silver Member

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    Sit him down and tell him you've got something important to say to him and to don't interrupt you. Then explain him everything you just said, very slowly and carefully. Don't get to him when he's drunk, or at least too drunk to listen. Let him know that you are his friend and you want to help him. If this doesn't work then he's in too deep, and perhaps it is the best for you to not let him bring you down along with him by staying away.

    You're not a bad person because you coming here saying all this says a lot about you. And it is completely understandable that you don't want to let him bring you down.
     
  3. assassoid

    assassoid Silver Member

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    The truth is I have been down the same road with him too many times to count. Since High School we have consistently been friends, and consistently there always comes a time after so many months whether it's a girl and a basket of kids moved in with him (no way I would put myself there.I learned i'm just better off single) or he's hooked on Oxies...or whatever else. He a big dude, the kind that will tear your head off in two seconds,he used to do cage fighting, and I am the exact opposite. Fact is he has always intimidated me. That mixed with drinking whiskey on 100mg of diazepam(ten blue valiums) makes for a really unpredictable person. I am his friend and when I feel READY I will talk to him but I'm not home for right now. He wants me to come to his house for some reason and there is no way that is gonna happen. If he's on the outs with his girlfriend ( I don't know her at all ) I have learned from the past that I better just completely stay away from the situation.

    One of his past girlfriends somehow managed to almost get my house searched.He's got weed on him now(I told him that after today don't bring anymore around before I got rid of him earlier) and from what he tells me is going on up at his house it sounds like the cops are gonna end up being called one way or the other(Ironically he lives one house away from the police station) I am home, I am at peace. I wish him luck and will talk to him when I feel ready to. I have to put myself first (and not let 6 people move in my house) and work on me. I'm sure it will work out. What gives me any anxiety is next he's gonna show up and wanna crash here. No fuckin way. If he lets a girl run him out of his house i'm not gonna be made to be uncomfortable by it.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 8, 2015