1. Dear Drugs-Forum readers: We are a small non-profit that runs one of the most read drug information & addiction help websites in the world. We serve over 4 million readers per month, and have costs like all popular websites: servers, hosting, licenses and software. To protect our independence we do not run ads. We take no government funds. We run on donations which average $25. If everyone reading this would donate $5 then this fund raiser would be done in an hour. If Drugs-Forum is useful to you, take one minute to keep it online another year by donating whatever you can today. Donations are currently not sufficient to pay our bills and keep the site up. Your help is most welcome. Thank you.
    PLEASE HELP
    Dismiss Notice

An addict then -- a casual user now? Really can it happen?

Discussion in 'Opiate addiction' started by mnooskiecom, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. mnooskiecom

    mnooskiecom Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    80
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2012
    Messages:
    41
    I've been getting info from the "experts" who know very little. So I am asking you because reading your posts I think you qualify better for that word.

    Son. Lots of reasons not to, but takes up heroin a few months ago. Previously mostly weed, dabbled in other things. I found out about the H because one Sunday he needs to get rushed to ER, turns out to be withdrawal. He's sick as a human gets. Terrible pain, vomiting spectacularly, etc. Next morning he is 100% fine. I suspect he took some to get through the withdrawal, he says no, he's just done with withdrawal. Is that possible? Can it pass that fast? In the ER says he's hooked, next day says he's not.

    Says he started only a month ago. Says that means he's not an addict. But says he got to point where he got high before going to work because he couldn't function without it. Next day, though, says he's not hooked.

    All his pay has been disappearing for at least a few months. Plus money from my wallet. Can't pay rent. Dropped out of college last spring -- I didn't know that.

    Most recent bit: has been off it, cold turkey, for a month. Text from his dealer backs that up (sent to me by accident -- bright dealer.). But he was trying to buy more, saying that now that he has shown he is not an addict, never was one, he can use casually, you know, small amounts every so often .. Or daily, but small amounts.

    Don't know if it matters, but he was smoking up until recently, but I found a needle in my car after he borrowed it.

    So the $64,000 questions are, is this really something I should feel is OK, like he says? Am I making too big a deal of it? He was using to function and went through horrible withdrawal -- can he be right that he actually wasn't addicted? (I woulda thought he was). He says it's only been a month but hasn't been able to pay rent for at least three. Admittedly he makes lousy money at his part time job but he isn't coming up with a penny.

    Mostly, is there a real chance he can now become a casual user?

    Any addiction is hard for a mom to take, but this one scares me in particular. Last August he got a really nice deal, 2 felonies reduced to a single misdemeanor, but to get the deal he had to plead to both felonies, and they stay on hold. If he's good on 3 years probation they disappear. OTOH Serious probation violation, no need for trial, straight to prison. His earlier crime was not drug, something else, so if/when he fails one of his surprise urinanalyses, the fact that he took up using AFTER the other event won't go over well. In short, there is a good chance that if he gets caught holding or even just fails a UA he has at least 7 years ahead , adding it all up.

    I have NO idea if I am being a drama queen or if its the other way, I should be doing something ASAP.
     
  2. cra$h

    cra$h Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    1,171
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2007
    Messages:
    2,450
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    PA
    Stay clean. It's a lot easier. I've tried just being a causal user after being an OC/heroin addict about 8 months earlier, having maybe have a bag or so if my friend happens to have one. That lasts about a month with a lot of will power. Then you start buying it just for yourself, and within a couple months, your addiction is 10x worse than it was before. And if anything traumatic happens in your life, forget about it. You've had your fun, move on. It ain't any easier in the "real world", but at least you don't get sick every couple hours.
     
  3. out_there

    out_there Donating

    Age:
    45
    Reputation Points:
    1,655
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    As a father of a teenager I would be doing something ASAP. I don't think anybody on here would agree that it is possible to be a part time Heroin user indefinitely. Especially considering that he has had problems with the law before, it would be advisable to seek professional help from a rehab centre so that it is seen he is doing something to deal with the situation.
    I know how hard it is trying to talk to teenage kids because they "already know" but actually they don't and if possible without being judgmental try to get him to see that it is important to get on top of this now.
    The whole withdrawal episode at the hospital sounds like rubbish to me just so that you wouldn't be worried or angry.
    To answer the $64,000 question - if he has been in hospital with withdrawals he is suffering from an addiction and it would be impossible for it to just "go away" over night.
    I know you really want to believe your son but the facts seem to be that he has a problem. I really wish you the best and I hope others on here can give some useful help.
    Good luck and let us know how it goes or if you have any other questions.
     
  4. runnerupbeautyqueen

    runnerupbeautyqueen Palladium Member

    Reputation Points:
    2,782
    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2010
    Messages:
    836
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Denton, Texas (so basically Dallas)
    You are definitely not being a drama queen. I am actually floored by how calmly you seem to be taking this. If you don't mind me asking, how old is your son? I'm assuming late teens / early twenties due to the college reference.

    Everything he is saying and doing fits in perfectly with stereotypical addict behavior. The whole "I'm fine, I don't have a problem" speech is essentially true because while he is telling you this he is fine and he has no problems because he is high. I can almost promise you he has more than one dealer so just because he hasn't bought from one in a month doesn't mean much. When he was in the hospital did they give him suboxone or subutex? If so then it would be perfectly normal for him to feel fine the next day. If they gave him nothing then it is very unlikely, even if he was feeling better he would still be far from fine.

    Can an ex addict use casually? 99% of the time no. Your son is definitely not a casual user if he's using everyday or multiple times a week. In the rare 1% of people who are able to go from addiction to casual use they almost always have been sober for many years before using casually and they keep their use casual (casual = one every two or so months).

    Your son is digging himself a deep hole. Needles, hospital visits, stealing from family (and God knows who else), not being able to work without using, not being able to pay rent, all of these things are indicative of a serious problem that is just going to get worse as long as nothing changes.

    The thing you need to remember is that there is really nothing you can do. All of your best intentions, all of your savings, all of your support will mean absolutely nothing until he wants to change and right now he doesn't. He will not want to change until he is forced to. As long as he knows he can go to your house, eat some food, steal some dope money, and keep on being an addict then that's what he will do. I would not allow him in your house, definitely refuse to give him money for anything, and tell him something along the lines of "because I love you I cannot watch idly as you destroy your life but when you are ready to get help I will support you 100%."

    I am not a parent but I feel qualified to give this advice because I am a junkie and I took advantage of my parents the same way your son is taking advantage of you. Eventually my parents kicked me out with nothing but the pair of sweat pants, t shit, and bra I was wearing. No shoes, no money, no nothing. And it was probably the best thing they could have done for me. At the time I even understood they were just doing what they had to but your son may not be as rational. You need to stay strong and put his long term health and well being above his short term happiness.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2012
  5. carter 1203

    carter 1203 Titanium Member

    Age:
    51
    Reputation Points:
    855
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2012
    Messages:
    661
    When you said he was smoking up, you mean weed or smoking H? I would be terrified at the thought of a random drug test coming up positive for any illegal substances. I don't blame you at all for being concerned. Can you talk with his probation officer about getting him into an outpatient rehab program because you're afraid he might relapse? Just thinking out loud what I would do, but that could blow up in your face. I don't think it's possible to just chip around once you've been addicted. I know psychiatrists can prescribe suboxone, which would take away the cravings. It's helped many people get their lives back after opiate addiction.

    I have been through a similiar experience with my son, who's 15 now. He got arrested at school for possession of weed and again for paraphernalia. Got expelled from school so now he's in the drug court and has messed up a few times. Now he's in an alternative school where the kids have to do community service work, not much academics though. It's a big long story I wrote about it some weeks ago. You want to help, but don't know what to do. You don't want to threaten him yet you feel the need to save him from this addiction.

    It's not easy when your loved one is in denial no matter what drugs he's using. He's always going to be your little boy and it tears you up with worry. Have a talk with him and see if he's open to suboxone therapy. Keep us posted how he's doing.
     
  6. mr sic

    mr sic R.I.P.

    Reputation Points:
    45
    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2012
    Messages:
    160
    You know I always try to play devils advocate but, I just cant on this one. I have known and been a casual heroin user. The only reason it worked for me at the time was because Iwas heviar into Meth and booze than Iwas into H. Also if he was sick to the point of going to the hospital chances are pretty good hes been using longer than a month. Unless he was just trying to score something from the doctors, but then he wouldnt have said anything about w/d to the doctors.
    Even if he doesnt have a habit and just smokes weed every now again that still could be just as bad being on probation sitting on 7 years. Just cuz hes on probation for a non drug offense you know that doesnt mean they wont pop up a test. theyll usually wait untill your good and comfortable with them and then pop a urine test on you. and even if he brought fake pee with him it wouldnt do much good as (at least were i live) the p.o. sticks his face about an inch away from your parts while your peeing. So even though it would be much safer for your son and your wallet if he were to smoke up rather than be a junky. 7 yrs is 7yrs.

    Another thing to be carefull with is the whole Suboxone thing. Make sure he really does need it as its just as hard to kick as dope is and its expensive without insureance. More importantly depending on where your at it could be just as much of a problem as a dirty urine.

    I hope he doesnt have too bad of a habbit and that going thru withdrawl coupled with the thought of going to prison turns out to be enough to nip this in the bud
    I wish you the best of luck with all of this.
    and wish i had some better advice for you. but i havent been through this. my kids are 12 and 9 and 2
     
  7. halo99

    halo99 Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    140
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Messages:
    219

    unfortunately you are in denial... (as any loving mom just dealing with this would be)... 99% probability your son is using and he is *not* a casual user (if he uses every day he is *certainly* not a casual user and he *will* go into WD if he stops)... if you are really in doubt, go to your local drugstore and pick up a home UA test that includes opiates (about $30) and ask him to drop for you right there on the spot... if he refuses then you have your answer...


    anyway, your best bet is to get him into rehab *now* before things get more out of hand with him...
     
  8. mnooskiecom

    mnooskiecom Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    80
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2012
    Messages:
    41
    Next piece of news. Seemed to be OK, just fine last night, but came over today so wasted he couldn't talk. Eventually I asked him, real calm, why he would go back on it when he had gotten clean. (I know there isn't much of an answer, just wanted to open a conversation.) He screamed, he denied it, he yelled that his life was ruined and it is my fault, told me to go suck a cock,etc.

    This strong a reaction has only happened once before. 3 days before Xmas last year I stopped by to drop off $50 so he could buy his siblings something and he lost it. 20 minutes of beating me, trying to break my hand by slamming it in a door, choking me, etc., all in front of his 6 year old sister. That's what earned him the jail time last Xmas and New Year's. That's the one and only time I had ever known him to be physically violent with anyone at all. Can heroin make you get that violent? Was it more likely some other drug?

    This is the most amazing forum in the world. I keep getting different info from people outside of here. Tough love = don't have any contact until he wants to get clean. No, tough love = don't give him money but that's the only thing you have to do. He's addicted; no he's not. Horrible withdrawal = addiction; no it doesn't. No one else wants to talk straight. Thank you thank you thank you. I know there's nothing I can do until he wants to get clean"-- that's what keeps me from dissolving in guilt -- but then I picture the prison visitor's room, where I get to leave and he goes back to a cell.

    mnooskiecom added 8 Minutes and 27 Seconds later...

    Thank you. One of my brothers, father of two young girls, cut off all contact with me a year ago because if my son is an addict (he knows about long-term marijuana use and about the beating I got from him, not about this) it has to be my fault. Hearing from a parent who doesn't blame me is a REAL relief. I don't even dare tell my friends. If my own brother can cut me off because good people can't have addict children, so if my kid is an addict I must have done something horrendously wrong, then I don't dare tell anyone else and take the risk. Maybe, just maybe, that friend will do what my brother did -- blame me so that he can believe that if does everything right (which of course he does) this can never happen to him.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2012
  9. Frmrjunkie

    Frmrjunkie Titanium Member

    Reputation Points:
    540
    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2012
    Messages:
    383
    The fear of being in withdrawal or actually being in withdrawal can make people do things they normally wouldn't. Personally, at about the third day of opiate withdrawl I was so sick & weak I couldn't of raised my arm to swat a fly. Hell I couldn't even walk 6' to the bathroom! If I actually made it off the potty & back to bed, I had to crawl to make it back to the bathroom.

    HORRID experience, but well worth it ;)
     
  10. out_there

    out_there Donating

    Age:
    45
    Reputation Points:
    1,655
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    I'm really sorry to hear what you've been through and are still going through with the physical and verbal abuse. My first thought is that he is really scared about what his life has become and where it is leading. On one hand he wants to keep using but knows that this will destroy his life so he is taking it out on you.
    And once again, as a parent of a 16 year old I really empathize with how you must be feeling. Unfortunately I don't think this is something you can do by yourself. He needs professional help but because of his erratic behavior due to drug use that's going to be really hard until he decides he needs it or is forced into it by the authorities.
    Is there any way you can ask him to come to a counseling session with you? Or is there anybody you can think of who he would go with? Sigh. This situation is so difficult and these suggestions seem so weak but I can't think of anything else.
    At least keep posting here and getting support for yourself and hopefully things will turn around really quickly.
    Best wishes again.
     
  11. runnerupbeautyqueen

    runnerupbeautyqueen Palladium Member

    Reputation Points:
    2,782
    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2010
    Messages:
    836
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Denton, Texas (so basically Dallas)
    Does heroin make people angry/violent? Normally, no. Usually in fact it's the exact opposite and it makes people docile as pussy cats. Drugs that make people angry/violent are usually stimulants (meth would be my first guess). Or he very well could just be stressing out about where he's going to get his next fix from. Or it could be a million other things that we couldn't even begin to guess.

    Different people will have different definitions of tough love. I know I said "don't have any contact with him" but that's not entirely true. I think you can still talk to him, see him (somewhere that is not your house, etc. just don't do things that will enable him to keep up his lifestyle. As soon as he gets angry, violent, or whatever you need to leave or hang up the phone. You need to be in control and if you aren't okay with your son telling you to "suck a cock" (I think is what it was) then you need to make that clear through your actions. Addicts are experts at manipulation. I don't know how we get so good at it but somehow we do. When he says "everything is your fault" what he is really trying to do is redirect the conversation. That way instead of him having to be on the defensive about not being on drugs or being a drug addict he can instead go on the offensive (which is a lot easier) by trying to turn the tables. You cannot even entertain the things he says under these conditions because he will say anything (if he believes it or not) just to take to focus off of himself and his problem.

    If you didn't already know there's narcanon meetings that consist of the friends and family of addicts talking about how to be and deal with being the friends and family of addicts. Since you mentioned you don't really have anyone you can talk to about this those meetings might be a good idea. This forum is great and all but sometimes you need face to face interaction.

    Have you considered contacting his PO? I know it seems really harsh but when I first got addicted heroin (5 or so years ago) I had a little group of drug buddies, maybe 10 or so. Fast forward 5 years and 2 of them are clean solely because they got out of the state, 4 are in (or have recently gotten out of) prison, and the rest are dead. This is just what I've experienced but the survival rates for young heroin addicts are exponentially higher when they are locked up. I'm sure others will disagree with me on this (and that's cool) but as much as prison sucks people mostly seem to at least stay and come out of it alive. He seems unstable. Happy, healthy kids generally don't beat up their moms. What if he gets violent with a girlfriend, friend, or some scary ghetto dope dealer? Just something to think about is all.

    PS- My parents are awesome and growing up I had a big backyard and dogs and my Dad played on the trampoline with us and my mom sewed us awesome Halloween costumes and things could not have been more fairy tale like. But here I am, a junkie, a true testament to the fact that even the best parents can have a drug addicted child. It says nothing about you as a parent unless you shot him up or something. He is an adult and he made his choices despite having you as a mother, not because he has you as a mother.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2012
  12. SlaveKnowMore

    SlaveKnowMore Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    95
    Joined:
    May 2, 2012
    Messages:
    114
    Thank you for your candor mnooskie. I will also be blunt so please don't take offense. Your son is a junkie. A potentially violent junkie who may have other emotional issues going on besides addiction. He's still using. He didn't "lose" that $50 last Christmas. He "used" it. That's what junkies do. They use everybody and everything to ensure their drug supply isn't interrupted. I quoted what you posted above because on top of all the other crap you've endured with your son, his statement above would be the straw that breaks the camels back for me. He can deny all he wants but to treat his own mother with such disrespect is unconscionable. Please cut your son free before his addiction sucks you into his despair. He doesn't sound like he is serious about recovery right now. I'm sorry but that's real "tough love". As much as it hurts, segregate your world from his. Before you do this though, explain that if he ever gets serious about recovery AND honesty you will be there. But if he continues to lie, use, abuse or employ violence or disrespect in any way....he's on his own in the wasteland. Please protect yourself as active drug use warps even the nicest persons sensibilities. Good luck.
     
  13. Magilla

    Magilla Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    145
    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2012
    Messages:
    136
    Not to be rude and don't take this the wrong way but do you love your son? Because if you loved him you would quit enabling him to kill himself or someone else with drugs, driving, or violence! Obviously I feel you love your son too much actually! AND it is hurting him right now because your enabling him instead of letting him hit rock bottom from suffering in the bed of thorns he has planted for himself to lay in for a while! I DON"T THINK ANY OF US CAN STRESS THIS ENOUGH, STOP ENABLING YOUR SON AND GET HIM HELP! Get him some help, detox, counseling, Methadone or Suboxone maintenance, anything except I.V. street drugs like Heroin and Cocaine, they are notorious takers of lives and will make your a life a living hell right before they kill you or they let you get better from them, call you oneday and then they kill you either way 9 times out of 10, being 1 out of the 10 takes a special person, take it from those special people who have live through it everyday, everyday getting a little bit easier to abstain. Maintenance doesn't work without a change in lifestyle completely and some form of whether it be counseling or intensive outpatient program, IOP. Fair warning to you both Methadone and Suboxone withdrawls are no picnic either, with Methadone being the absolute worst lasting over a month, you can kick a Heroin habit cold turkey and by day 6 your feeling great, day 2-4 are by far the most difficult however you can get through it with comfort meds a Doctor will provide for this purpose and they all work very effectively on the physical side of withdrawals everything is just a craving for the opiate high and for I.V. users which your son is tha rush, how heavenly it can be! The same rush that took my best friend right in front of my own eyes, dead. I hope I'm not the first to tell you this but you would be lucky if he ends up in jail, not for 7 years but a couple weeks to get him clean off of I.V. Heroin, the alternative is Death, there are no other options. Take care of this issue, before you don't even have a son to take care of left!
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2012
  14. carter 1203

    carter 1203 Titanium Member

    Age:
    51
    Reputation Points:
    855
    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2012
    Messages:
    661
    Mom, I'm sorry to see what you've endured. Your son is an addict. He's out out control given the fact that he physically and mentally abused you. They lie straight to your face and you want to believe them. That's your little boy still in your mind. That's what addicts do because they need the drugs to get by. My son was 14 when he started nicking mine and grandpa's money and debit cards. Just for money to get high. He was court ordered to rehab and the 6 month sentence angered me.

    All the while he would write me letters begging me to take him home. He was only allowed one ten minute phone call once a week. So I did the stupid thing and busted him out after 7 weeks of rehab. He's a good liar and convinced me he wouldn't relapse again. I was dealing with the caseworker, probation officer and judge and pissed them off badly. The sheriffs came and took me to jail for contempt of court. I deserved it because I made a bad decision. To make matters worse, after seeing me getting taken away in a squad car, he went and got high anyway.

    I have never been in any legal trouble my whole life. I've told this story before so bear with me if you heard it before. It sucked going to county jail and sitting there thinking "I'm doing this for Timmy" and he goes and fucks up again. So after the third day I went to court and they let me go on my recognizance. Too bad we had to go back to court the following Monday and he tested dirty. The prosecuter suggested 30 days but the judge was lenient with just 5 days in juvenile detention.

    Did he learn his lesson yet? That is yet to be be seen. I'm not sure if he's taken other substances that don't show up on a drug test. But it's coming and this is marijuana. Heroin is a different animal because if he doesn't have it, he will get very sick. I can only tell you my story and if you need to talk I'm here for you. Try to get your son into a program to save him from this affliction. Your son needs help whether he wants it or not. Don't give up on him!
     
  15. Nosferatus

    Nosferatus Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    1,465
    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2012
    Messages:
    4,009
    Gender:
    Male
    It is definitely possible. Persoanlly I went from and abusive cocaine, methamphetamine and cannabis smoker and borderline alcoholic, to an abusive/addicted speedballer and alcoholic, to a habitual daily cannabis user, heavy drinker and heavy recreational user of snorted and smoked cocaine, MDMA, ketamine, meth and psilocybin to my current state of an occasional light drinker and cannabis smoker. Personally I think age and increased responsibilities are the main factor in reducing drug use to non abusive/addicted levels.
     
  16. NeuroChi

    NeuroChi is not his mind Staff Member

    Reputation Points:
    4,886
    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2007
    Messages:
    4,961
    No. Not realistically, technically, metaphorically, or spiritually. This is not possible.

    I've met addicts that stayed clean a decade, "white knuckling" it. They were restless, irritable, and discontent all the way through. Or substituting with other addictive behavior. I've met others who were spiritually fit, recovered, for that same length of time. Then they stopped running their program (12 step). They relapsed within another couple years.

    From the 70 year old spiritual-based 12 step program to the modern day scientific literature, most people agree that once the disease of addiction sets in, we're stuck with it for life.

    Again, this will never be possible. Not with an addict, not with heroin. He needs to get into a rehab, preferable one longer than a month. I was and still am seriously befogged 5 weeks clean, for the second time this year, and I know and understand I need to have safety measured in place to keep me clean for the weeks to come. One day in the future, if I keep working my 12 step program, if I keep returning my body and brain to health, keep working at things I want in life then I'll be stable enough to be in possession of money and a car while not being in danger of relapsing. But that's not the case today.

    I believe that without the support from true friends (who don't use and have gone out of their way to understand and support what I'm going through), without a very supportive family, and an incredible sponsor/CA fellowship group, I would still be using or head. Heroin, hydromorphone, crack and methamphetamine have and maintain an incredibly powerful hold on the psyche of the addict. I believe in the decades to come we will continue to learn much, much more about their profound, potentially unfathomable capacity to embed into the mind the memory of transient euphoria which makes us think that risking lasting despair, depression, and death is worth it. More accurately, they make us not think at all. They make us zombies.

    From inside the fish tank, a fish can't tell you about air. As an addict in active addiction I was a fish in a very dark and lonely tank. I believe I'm outside of it now, but much of the time I still feel out of my element, out of place, as if something's not quite right. Many addicts feel like that from time to time. I was searching for an internal problem with an external solution.

    Even though I have endless opportunities out here, something still draws me to the limited and painful experience I know it would be to go back. Yet the pull remains. I can only keep it at bay by maintaining direct contact with god/higher power/source/present moment/one with all or whatever term you fancy for some form of spirituality. That and the rest of my growing suport system and acceptance of the undeniable: that to use is to die. I can be sober, and happy... it's possible. It's hard, but its worth it.
     
  17. mnooskiecom

    mnooskiecom Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    80
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2012
    Messages:
    41
    I have a brother like that. As 14 he was doing everything he did everything that was out there and got afficted to them all. Except heroin (he was afraid of needles). Went through treatment, did no drugs or alcohol for a number of years. but he completely stopped for a lot of years. Now he can drink without a problem, and has no urge to do anything else. For him it was about growing up, leaving teenage brain behind. Was it like that for you? I am an alcoholic and so far I've never met anyone over about 20 who could go back to drinking, weed, or any of the others.
    Thanks for giving me hope.

    mnooskiecom added 4 Minutes and 21 Seconds later...

    Out There. I'd love to get him into family therapy. He tried it for a short while, said it didn't work, and won't go back. Sigh. Thanks for reminding me that its out of my hands. I guess I just have to wait it out.
     
    Last edited: Dec 13, 2012
  18. ramarama

    ramarama Newbie

    Reputation Points:
    0
    Joined:
    Dec 13, 2012
    Messages:
    2
    The usage rate of the particular drug might become casual, but the addictive nature will still be at full strength.

    For instance AFIK was a hardcore crystal meth slammer, then 'downgraded' to the occasional puff of meth in a crackpipe or snorting speed every few months or so. But their addiction changed to downers, alcohol and codiene, not to mention gambling............

    They said that they ceased the online gambling as they found out it was illegal. But, that was a lie as the gambling continues even stronger.
     
  19. mnooskiecom

    mnooskiecom Silver Member

    Reputation Points:
    80
    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2012
    Messages:
    41
    Wow, thank you all for giving me a lot to consider. A few comments and a question or two: I am in AA and strongly believe in 12 steps. He has NO non-using friends, that would be a great was to meet some. I've tried to get him to NA or AA, no dice. But Narconon for me, it hadn't even popped into my head. I will find a meeting and go. And you know what? I forgot that last Xmss I dropped off the. $50 so he could buy his little siblings presents, but he never bought them anything. Back the. I didn't know he was on this so I didn't think about what he must have spent it on. Just thought he was being selfish and keeping my cash.

    I most certainly do NOT want to enable him, but I don't see what I'm doing that I should stop doing. Critique me, I want to learn.

    I spoke to his lawyer this morning and told him Max went back on it. I'm hoping he can get some sense into his head about what the legal consequences might be. But the first thing he asked for was that I not turn him in to anyone. That's normal for a lawyer to say, of course, but the truth is I wouldn't even know how to do it. The only thing I can think of is calling his PO. If I did he'd know who did it, since I am the only one likely to do it. I'd rather be able to do it anonymously. Can I call the PO that way? If I call the cops -- say, claiming I saw him driving erratically and thought the driver was drunk or high -- is that better? He thinks I am the one who turned him infor the assault last year (it wasn't me) and there are family members who at first thought that was OK but when they learned it was felony level they got angry at me for the fact that he could do so much time and have a felony record for a "family matter." Especially since this was the only time he ever hit anyone at all -- he is a peaceful kid normally -- and that means I wasn't in a situation of repeated violence.

    I agree that some time in prison is better than a lifetime of addiction. I wouldn't want a week though, more time than that so he can do some serious rehab. Would I have any power to influence that?
    Can I force him into rehab? He had to be committed last year for a few days but that was on suicidal ideation. Can you get someone forced into inpatient treatment?

    Last question. I'd like to hear more opinions on the idea of turning him in. I'm willing to do it if you teach me how, but first I want to know if that's the general consensus. Just give me your vote if you don't have time to post. Yes, turn him in? No, give him time to clean up his act? No, don't ever turn your kid in unless he's done something that directly harms you? I'm not big in the idea of turning him in for ripping off $50 bucks from my wallet a few times in the last month. Instead I'm going to hide the wallet.

    Last one: if he "borrows" my car without permission should I call it in as a theft? He's. taken it a couple of times before but I ( usually) get it back by the time I need it, like the next day. Is it an overreaction to call I that one? At this point the cops are sick of dealing with my household ( I have another son, adopted at age 12 from abuse, who has required a couple of cop visits. Lets just say, the suburban cops know us and its unsure they'd do anything much about a son taking mommy's car.
     
  20. out_there

    out_there Donating

    Age:
    45
    Reputation Points:
    1,655
    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2012
    Messages:
    1,403
    Just a quick thought on inpatient treatment for psychiatric reasons. I was admitted at one stage and here in Australia. If the registrar believes the patient is at risk of hurting themselves or others it is actually illegal to leave. I had to stay for at least three weeks which meant no drugs or alcohol and continued assessment by psychiatrists and nurses. It is also possible to check yourself into a psyche ward in a hospital here. Not sure how it works there but it might be worth a call to the hospital and find out what your options are re inpatient treatment in a psychiatric unit. Surely this would be preferable to prison...
     
    Last edited: Dec 14, 2012