Any advice/tips on how to manage bad memory after mdma damage?

Discussion in 'Ecstasy & MDMA' started by DarkVoid, Sep 25, 2018.

  1. DarkVoid

    DarkVoid Silver Member

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    Hey guys, I have posted before already about me going through basically exactly the same thing everyone posts here about after they've used too much MDMA or other types of amphetamines. I must admit I'm a bit shocked as I didn't really consider myself a "heavy" MDMA user but still got all the awful symptoms people talk about. I took MDMA six times in eight months this year. Prior to that I'd only tried it five times a few years apart and never used any other drugs except alcohol. Never tried MDMA for another ten years. This year normally took only one capsule, twice took two and one time only half. The time frames of the gap between each taking were three weeks, three months, and six weeks. I was drinking alcohol every weekend too though.

    Three and a half weeks ago I took one pill, not capsule, from a stranger in a night club. It was after that everything went to hell. The thing I find strange is that my best friend also took just as much MDMA as me and even more often and she also took dexamthetamine once and acid two-three times. She mentioned her memory was a bit worse previously but didn't seem like anything was that wrong. And this time around she took exactly the same pill from the same guy at the night club. But she says her memory is OK and in general she's basically fine, even though she has bipolar disorder.

    Anyway, so my memory and cognitive abilities have been very poor. I'm sure many people here can relate and know what I'm talking about. I have mostly short term memory problems, where everything I knew prior to taking the last pill I still know, but new information doesn't stay in my mind much at all. Can't really remember much of what people are saying, don't remember most stuff I read (unless I read it 2+ times), and don't remember where I put things or what I need to do. My mind actually feels quite "empty", like it has a hole in it and there aren't even many thoughts there at all. Also feel very "slow", can't recall language very easily and also weirdly keep mishearing what people are saying. Normally I'm quite intelligent and I'm university educated.

    I have actually read many threads about this on these forums about how people feel but I didn't see as much advice on how to actually try to DEAL with the cognitive impairments. Anyone that has been through this, have you found anything at all that helped you? Any dietary things? Brain training apps and puzzles? Writing things down? I'm open to literally all suggestions, as this is very distressing and really impacting my life. I also have been experiencing psychosis, paranoia and anxiety. They're a bit improved now though but the memory is not so I'm quite concerned about that. In fact my cognitive abilities even seem worse but I can't be too sure...

    Thank you so much for reading and no judgment please.
     
  2. TripRyder

    TripRyder Silver Member

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    Hi yes this is a very uncomfortable feeling that I have experienced when abusing amphetamine and going on mdma and ecstasy binges when I was young. Personally found that taking lots of vitamins and exercising at the gym actually helped speed up the recovery process from the brain fog that mdma and other amphetamines gave me after extensive use. also meditation helps quite a lot for me as well and helped me to stop over thinking things while my brain was fogged. For me it lasted a few months but got better as time went on, but I was taking stupidly high doses very often.
     
  3. ladywolf2012

    ladywolf2012 Got diamonds in the soles of my shoes! Palladium Member Donating Member

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    This such a common question in here that it is almost a cliché--though no judgement on you for asking it. Many, many, many posters in here and around the world have experienced the same negative after-efects from taking MDMA--including me, many years ago.

    And therein probably lies the problem. If you did not test the drug you were taking, then you have no idea what you actually took. Pills from total strangers in a nightclub are obviously very risky and dangerous. If you ever plan to take MDMA again, get a home reagent testing kit and test the drug before you take it.

    I can tell you that all my own cognitive disfunction disappeared within about two months of taking a huge overdose of MDMA that was laced with speed. (So, of course, I took all six hits!) The was back in the Pleistocene era. By now, it all is long forgotten--except that I will never really forget how compromised my body, brain, soul and heart felt. It was truly awful, but it DID eventually go away.''

    Try all the obvious self-care stuff. Exercise can help enormously to restore the correct serotonin levels in your brain. Eat well, sleep well, and drink tons of water. Yoga and meditation would also be great for you right now.

    I guess the main thing I want to convey is, stop worrying about it so much. If you've looked around, you've seen dozens of other peoples' posts on the same topic. I know that meanwhile you are probably experiencing mental torture, but it should begin to clear up steadily now. If it does not, then you may need to see a good psychiatrist. That's the best input I can give you...Good luck to you!
     
  4. DarkVoid

    DarkVoid Silver Member

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    Thanks so much guys, I appreciate your support! It's just it felt so scary to completely lose my cognition and sadly I was one of those "dumb people" that was not actually aware of how badly amthetamines can affect your cognitive functions if taken too often and/or too much. Also I did see some posts here from people that after one or two years had no improvement so I felt quite terrified of the same fate. But you're quite right in saying Lady Wolf that what's done is done and constantly worrying is not necessarily the best thing to do. I'm drinking a lot of freshly squeezed juices and eating vegetarian food and taking fish oil capsules.
     
  5. ladywolf2012

    ladywolf2012 Got diamonds in the soles of my shoes! Palladium Member Donating Member

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    Oh, Darkvoid, reading your posts over again does make me remember what a godawful terrible time it was in my life while I was waiting and hoping that my brain would clear after my mega-overdose of MDMA and speed. At the time when I took the overdose, I had a lively, busy psychotherapy practice going in Santa Fe, and I had to cancel all my clients for a full month because I was simply unable to function. I did not feel safe driving, and I was so obsessed with my own inner demons that I could not possibly have dealt with anyone else's...

    Also, I had no one to talk to about it. My husband was in Germany when I took the drugs, and he would have been totally disapproving, so when he returned, I chose not to tell him about it. All he knew was that something was terribly wrong with me, but he did not know what. I never did tell him. I guess my closest woman friend knew something about it, but she was very busy with her own acupuncture practice, and I didn't get to see her very often.

    And so, I walked. I assembled my great Dane and my pitbull mix, and Chloe, my walk-kitty, and we walked every day for miles out into the desert washes that surrounded my house. Sometimes I was gone practically from dawn to dark. I couldn't think what else to do with myself. So...I walked.

    And slowly, very gradually, I began to think more clearly. I tried driving again, and I did okay with that. I tried creative writing, and it was beginning to work for me again. My return to consensual reality was gradual and slow, but it DID finally happen. Six months later, I felt quite clear in saying that I had not suffered any permanent effects from that overdose...but it was twenty years before I ever tried PRE-TESTED MDMA again!

    I daresay that you will be fine, but recovery will require some patience on your part. If it all becomes too disturbing to you, go to see a doctor--preferably a psychiatrist. I never did myself, but a good shrink might have had some input for me, and maybe even some drugs, that would have helped me to recover faster. I had to consider my reputation in town as a psychotherapist myself, and that's why I avoided seeking treatment, I guess. But with hindsight, I can say that that was foolish on my part. Maybe I would not have needed to suffer for as long as I did.

    Well, I wish you all the best with this, and write again anytime. Meanwhile, know that you have the support of a lot of people behind you here!
     
  6. whirlingkite

    whirlingkite Silver Member

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    I'm taking some supplements like lion's mane and gingko to help repair the damage. (I take about 3g lion's mane twice a day and I was taking 60mg gingko twice a day, though you could take several times that dose safely.) I didn't take that high a dose of MDMA and I only took it the once, so I probably would've recovered anyway, but it's a fair chance the supplements are helping. There are some other supplements that help memory if you google for them.

    Getting enough sleep was important for me. I already had insomnia so I had to use sedatives - I take a rotation of herbs and pharmaceuticals. I could share if the names if that's helpful.