Army Drug tests

Discussion in 'Cannabis' started by Metalhead, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. Metalhead

    Metalhead Silver Member

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    Swim's friend is in the army and apparently at his drug tests he is watched while he is pissing and cannot alter it. Is there anyway for him to piss clean. Maybe a product to take or something. My friend wont stop smoking pot but he loves the army and wont consider giving it up. What should he do
     
  2. Hotboxed151

    Hotboxed151 Newbie

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    From my knowledge, as long as you don't lie about the substances you have taken the Armed Forces will accept you. If you do lie about the substances you have taken you will be sent to Military Jail, which is 10x worse than most jail facilities.
     
  3. Sky Walker

    Sky Walker Gold Member

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    My friend is going to have to bend a little if he wants to stay in the army, he can not claim to have love (love and army in the same scentence, oh the irony) for the army if he is not willing to sacrifice a simple pleasure to stay in it. Although if he can manage to stay off it for a few days then a Detox drink will clear his system of any drug traces, inquire at your local pharmacy.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2006
  4. searcher

    searcher Gold Member

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    If your in the armed forces, control yourself (you CAN do that) and don't do drugs or smoke weed. If you can't control yourself, don't join... seems simple.
     
  5. cactus

    cactus Silver Member

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    you can get a prosthetic penis which can be filled with a clean sample, or you can take your chances with just drinking heaps of water (2-3lt) the day of the test and eating a few vitamin b tablets so your pee wont be totally clear.
     
  6. sidewalkpharmacist

    sidewalkpharmacist Newbie

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    or you could get a syringe- needle and inject piss up your penis (from someone else) and piss it in the cup.
     
    1. 3/5,
      Qite possibly the single most stupid thing I've read in ages! Dangerous advice.
      Feb 10, 2006
  7. Micklemouse

    Micklemouse Platinum Member & Advisor

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    Taking the piss...

    :eek:Are you serious? Please tell me you're not!:eek: This has got to be one of the daftest and potentially dangerous things I've read in a long time. Probably more than any other biological system the bladder and urinary tract are meant to be a one-way street.

    Anyone trying this is on a fast track to a Darwin Award.
     
  8. Woodman

    Woodman A very strange person. Platinum Member & Advisor

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    It's called a catheter and you DON'T use a needle, but a small rubber tube (4mm - 6mm diameter, & aprox. 60 cm long).

    A catheter is used to remove urine from people who experience difficulty voiding themselves.


    Professional atheletes have been known to cheat piss tests by using a catheter; they FILL their bladder with someone elses' (clean) urine, then they pass the test by simply pissing out the clean urine.

    This is not something that I would recommend. There are risks, so don't bother asking how to do this because such posts will either be closed or deleted.
     
  9. Sickman

    Sickman Silver Member

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    How random are the tests? I used to work at a company with "random" testing that actually was every ~6 months for each employee, and always on a Thursday... if there's any schedule he can figure out, he can stop for awhile before the test and/or drink lots of H2O.

    Or, he can stop smoking... :(
     
  10. sands of time

    sands of time Gold Member

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    Mickle mouse and woodman, what hes talking about is true... To some extent. Hes not talking about a catheter, since that removes urine. The proper way is to inject clean urine directly into the bladder with a syringe. I'm assuming that this is done by injecting it in the lower stomach region, but I'm no expert on this subject. This method is used mainly by althetes, whose careers depend on clean piss. These people will go to the absolute extreme in terms of performance... And passing a urine test.
     
  11. Micklemouse

    Micklemouse Platinum Member & Advisor

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    Urine the Army now...

    Thanks Sands - that begins to make a bit more sense, insofar as anything in this thread could make any sort of sense at the moment!

    I still can't get the image of some slackjawed grunt (no disrespect to your friend Metalhead, or the U.S. military. Well, maybe a little to the latter...) jacking piss into his penis repeatedly (considering the average adult male bladder holds between 400 and 750 ml of liquid) or reverse catheterising himself out of my head though - not impressed:eek:!

    As previously stated, yer mate's going to have to decide which is more important to him - smoking weed or seeing the world and killing people. Tough choice!
     
  12. raven3davis

    raven3davis R.I.P. Palladium Member R.I.P.

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    If your friend loves the army so much he needs to stop smoking pot. He will eventually get caught slipping up and will be botted faster than he can expalin what happened. The only recommendation I have would be a product called the urinator, or the one that is a fake dick. Its basically a fake dick that can be used in front of people. I do not have any idea how real it looks but it would be the only option your friend has. If it is believable then he should be able to use that. However if they find out that it is a fake dick he will likely be under scrunity and get caught.

    Your friend really should not be smoking pot in the army though. If he values his career then he will find a way to stop, or find a fool proof way to fool the test. The only other thing to do it exercise a lot and drink lots of water and cranberry juice. Since the tests are random there will be no way to know when he needs to be clean by. If he wants to pass he should really think about investing in a fake cock and using that! I dont think they will look to closely at his dick. Just enough so that he wont be able to pour someone elses urine in the cup. Tell your friend good luck. Getting kicked out of the army is going to suck for him so he needs to figure out something. He really need to reconsider either weed or the army. He might be able to do both but needs to be prepared to give one up if the push comes to shoove.
     
  13. Dr.Ganesha

    Dr.Ganesha Newbie

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    Alot of swim's friends swear by vinegar. Dilute it with some water and it should clean you right out. One of my friends is a cop, smoked one day, drank pickle juice (which contains vinegar) that night, and passed a piss test the next day. I have been on Niacin for the past two weeks, awaiting my own piss test tomorrow. I'll let you know the results.