best friend’s bs is wearing thin

Discussion in 'Family & friends' started by korky8097, Sep 29, 2005.

  1. korky8097

    korky8097 Gold Member

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    Hey guys, I have tried dealing with my friend and confronting him about 10 times on this matter and am asking yall for your opinion on what i should do. In another forum i posted a story about my friend going crazy on adderall and ambein, and after that whole ordeal he hasnt changed. Here is the scoop to fill you in, my best friend is starting to slip away from his social life because of drugs. Him and I used to do adderalls all the time together, and every time it was me supplying for free because he was a good friend and i had no problem doing that. Well after a while i started to slow my use down a bit since they are perscribed, but he took it all for granted and has never stopped.

    After not being able to get them from anybody really except me, he has resorted to stealing them from me. At first i just brushed it off and thought it wasnt going to be consistent, but after a while they just keep disapearing from places. I have confronted him many times, saying things like, "bro, did you take some adderalls out of the bottle? I dont care i just want to make sure i didnt leave them around" to, "seriously bro will you please stop stealing my adderalls, i have no problem letting you have them free when i have extras, but i need those for classes" to "i know you stole some adderalls dude, im being totally serious with you, please stop taking them from me". And every time he insists its bullshit and that he isnt taking any of them.

    Back in august he went insaine for about 12 hours because of sleep deprivation when he stole them out of my bag at the lake while i was sleeping. I thought that would be his wake up call, but no, he cont. to steal them. In the past he has honestly walked right into my house when nobody was home and stole 11 of them out of the bottle. This is all getting completely ridiculous. I havent hung out with him much in the past month because he is obsesed with his terribly mean girlfriend who has made his life hell IMO. They got in a fight because he laughed when he saw her playing with a rubber toy whale for christ sake.

    Yesterday he needed me to go pick him up across town and give him a ride to get food and co2 for paintball, which i happily did. But when i ran inside to get my keys, i left him in the car where i had an adderall hidden (i feel stupid for doing this). I checkd today and it was gone. I am really getting tired of this, he is my best friend but he has very dick like tendencies (he breaks into my truck and steals chew and smokes also). He is my best friend and honestly if anybody else tried to pull this shit they would have a date with the crippler(my wooden bat). I dont want to lose him as a friend because we have been friends forever and been through hell together. Guys, i come to you in despiration, what should i do? All help is apreciated, ive tried everything i can think of, the damn things are even hidden damn well, but he doesnt stop searching till he hits gold. Thank you and sorry for the long post, just need to get this off my chest.
     
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  2. polloloco001

    polloloco001 Gold Member

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    thats real fucked. i honestly dont know what id do in the situation. sometimes you gotta make a choice dude and if hes really just lying and choosing drugs over your friendship i think i would just tell him to fuck off. if you think you could beat his ass maybe you should do it, cuz he may think hes just playing you and you don't really give a fuck. you might be able to knock some sense into him. sounds like a classic example of speed fucking up peoples lives.
     
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  3. Pinkavvy

    Pinkavvy Platinum Member & Advisor

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    let him read this thread. ask him to sit and read it. step out of the room to get a drink or snack while he reads it. let him read what you wrote, and let him read the responsed you'll be getting.

    if this doesn't make him understand that speed (especially that aweful adderal, yuck) can mess shit up between friends, then perhaps you just need to step back and let him figure out on his own, without access to your space and your medicine.
     
  4. Woodman

    Woodman A very strange person. Platinum Member & Advisor

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    korky8097,

    I was in a similar situation.
    Use the search engine and find thread in "some for all" forum titled "I Am Not A Junkie." I've been there, just stand tall and stand firm. Others here have gone through similar things so you're in the right place.
     
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  5. NeedleInTheHay

    NeedleInTheHay Newbie

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    I have to admit that i have been in this situation on both sides before. Many, many times i've been the one getting screwed, but there was a time in my life when i did the screwing. I am completely ashamed of it, and i lost one of the best friends i ever had because of it.

    My advice would be to sit him down and explain everything you are feeling...let him know exactly how his actions are affecting you. Tell him that he has to make a decision; your friendship or your drugs. He will probably continue to deny taking your shit, but just tell him that it isn't just the fact that he's stealing from you thats the problem. Explain all of the problems his lack of control is causing. The bottom line is this: he will continue to take advantage of you until something drastic happens.

    Maybe set a trap for him... try to catch him in the act...then he won't be able to deny it anymore. It's been my experience that the best way to salvage what friendship is left is to stop hanging out with him entirely. Talk to him over the phone if need be, but do not give him the opportunity to steal from you again (unless you figure out a way to catch him doing it). Hopefully, after a while he'll realize that if he doesn't change he'll lose you as a friend. If not, and i know this sucks, then you are better of without this friend. When it comes right down to it, friends DON"T do this type of shit to each other. Right now he is not your friend. Whether this is temporary or not is all up to him. Good luck.
     
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  6. korky8097

    korky8097 Gold Member

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    Thank you for all the resplonses so far guys, great advice. I think part of the problem is his weird decision and thought process, and now he is taking testosterone boosters for lifting so he is even more careless and agressive. Ive tried telling his ass at his age his natural test production is at its peak, hes 18 btw, and that it will fuck him up un the long run, but he really doesnt take other peoples advice. And another part is that he isnt taking me seriously. Ive gotten him to admit to taking a few 1 or 2 times, but that was long after he snorted them. I would say whatever and his response was always, "haha shit happens man, my bad" as if i wasnt serious.

    I really hate to see this happen to such a good friend/person. He has a pretty addictive personality, cant quit the cigs, the chew, the amp, th ambein, and his woman. I wish i knew that before i even let him try adderall (and i agree, its not even a very worthwhile amp, thats one reason i dont do it often anymore and didnt even enjoy it too extensively back then). He seems to think it is the best thing since sliced bread.

    I think i am going to sit down with him next time i actually have a chance to even SEE him, his girlfriend is one of those crazy anti drug people, and i do mean crazy, like crying constantly, bitching at people for doing things she asked them to do but now how she wanted it done, yelling, things like that. His main problem is he uses this stuff as an escape, not as a night enhancer kinda thing the rest of me and my friends use it for. I just hope he listens, i am running out of ideas on how to get through to him. Again thanks guys for the responses so far.
     
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  7. Be-Bop

    Be-Bop Silver Member

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    Fuck man, i really feel for you..i have been in kinda the same situation myself (friends shamelessly taking advantage of my love & loyalty to them..) & it's REALLY hard to know what to do..But here is my suggestion (for what it's worth); Either write him a letter (if he is the kind of person who, when confronted, or put in a corner, gets aggressive & unreasonable..) or make a time to see him when you know that his girlfriend won't be around. Don't ask him to 'admit' the stealing, coz he obviously doesn't want to, (maybe even to himself) don't actually ask him to say anything at all- this is simply a statement of your intentions- Tell him that while you love him & value his friendship that you can't see him anymore until HE makes some decisions about his behaviour. In fact,it is BECAUSE you value his friendship so much that you are not prepared to risk it just so he can get his hands on some crappy speed. That it is not the pills that are important to you, but feeling as though there is a bedrock of truth & loyalty to your relationship IS! That by allowing him to be around you, & hence for him to steal & lie, you are losing respect for him & it is endangering your friendship, which you are not prepared to lose without fighting for it- & that means, for the time & being- that you can no longer continue to see him. That this is the hardest thing for you to do coz you love him, buthe has left you no alternativebecause talking to him about the problem is getting nowhere.Until he is ready to appraoch you honestly & talk about what has happened, your door is closed! So..it is up to him. Hope this has been a help, but your going to be the BAD one in his eyes whatever happens- your really in a fucked situation, but try & take the long view & at least lay the groundwork for a REAL relationship in the future...GOOD LUCK!!!!! bE-bOP.[​IMG]
     
  8. korky8097

    korky8097 Gold Member

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    i got a chance to very breifly talk with him this weekend, he still denys taking anything but he did give me a free can which i think he did cuz he is starting to see i dont want to be friends with a speed fiend. ANd you are right man, i could care less about losing an adderall (kinda sucks but i get over that part within an hour or so) its the fact that i cant even trust him to be in my vehicle, house, anywhere. And yeah i do believe he is taking my kindness as weakness, back when we used to get fucked up all the time, i always paid for most of it since my other good friend M and him were almost broke. That didnt bother me. It wouldnt even bother me that much if he acted like a good friend rather that going on month long binges of not hanging out with anybody but his girlfriend. The fact that he is obsesed with being high doesnt bother me, the fact that he steals and lies on a daily basis does.

    He is just a really thickheaded dude, he gets tested weekly, and this weekend while we were getting high he wanted to also, i was the only one who actually stopped him because i didnt want him to go thorugh all the shit of getting in trouble. And he actually was a little bit steamed at me for not allowing him to do drugs that will obviously show up on a drug test. I really thought he would get the big picture by now, i guess i was wrong. I dont even think i can consider him a friend anymore. Next time i get him alone for a bit i am gonna talk to him for a while about this, just tell him how i feel and leave the floor open.

    I dont think any of my friends take this matter seriously, my friend M and i actually got into an argument over all this, he for some reason thinks t is just a crazy dude that does crazy things and that just lost my last adderall. I guess he just cant be in my shoes because T has never stolen from him. I asked him what he would be thinking if T stole a bunch of hydros from his medicine cabinet (perscribed to his grandmother), and he said something like he wouldnt be as pissed as i am. Everone that finds out about this just laughs it off. I have a few friends who agree with me, but havent ever had to deal with something like this.

    Damn all this over some lousy adderall. Thanks for the responses thus far guys, i hope every day i can get him to realize his ways and actually be sorry about it. All i want is a sincere apology and for him to stop doing it. What has this world come to when being a kind a generous caring friend ends up like this. Maybe is these damn test boosters he takes to make him so careless, maybe its him, i just want it to stop.

    Edit: oh and i read that i am not a junky thread woodman, its sad how he fits into all those catigories as a junky. I let him smoke my cigs, give him chew, free booze all the time, hes probably stolen about 4 packs and 4 cans from me in the past as well. Since ive done him this "favor" he constantly brings up the fact that he bought be a pack and a can once so he can get more free shit. Whats so shitty about this matter is his parents are probably in the top 15 richest people in town, he has 2 cars all to himself one being a fixed up 84 camaro.

    Edited by: korky8097
     
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  9. Be-Bop

    Be-Bop Silver Member

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    CreepingDeath's post made me wonder if there has been any developments in this tale of woe? Howz tha fuck it goin' in your corner of the Universe korky8097?


    Just remember, as cynical & 'hard' as you can try & be..people will always will come up with new & more fucked-up ways to lower your opinion of the 'Human' race..& when this comes from your friends..well..it's just a really, really SHITTY thing


    plus, you are caught between cultivating a 'hard' skin..which is NO way to live..& at the other extreme, being so open to others, that when they act this way, it really fucks you up! I don't know what the ANSWER is? I'm just an astonished spectator....


    Be-Bop [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  10. circsee1

    circsee1 Newbie

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    my best friend acted very similiarly to what you are describing above. His problem was H and not speed though. I ould get robbed all the time and, when confronting him, even though he woulld have been the only person in the room, he would deny everything and flip out at me for asking. Anyways, this continued for about a year and a half. I would visit him when he was in mental institutions, rehab centers, detox centers, and emergency rooms. I talked with his parents all the time but nothing helped. So, I asked myself one of the hardest questions one could ask regarding friendships. Is he still my friend? No, of course would be the answer. So I realized I was putting up with his shit just because of the effect that he had on me before he started abusing/lying/ and stealing. So, another question I asked was, is is worth it? For a while just being there and trying to convince him through unwavering friendship that he is messing up but that you are still there for him is the best thing you can do. If that does not get through to him as was true in my case, I eventually had to tell him that I was not able to hang out with him anymore until he changed. You have to be very strong with this. If he gets better, dont hang out with him the next day, wait a while. Make his realize what hes done and force the consequences upon him. This may seem to be the wrong approach but tough love is the only thing one can do when a person has deteriorated to the point which you are describing. Sorry this is long. So, were the years of friendship that you had before worth the abuse which you are enduring now? For me it was but in either case, in my opinion, you need to completely step aside. This may bring him back to reality but probably not. Just provide (as stated above with catching him in the act) as many pitfalls and false walls as you can before he reaches a serious one.
     
  11. BrugmansiaBrujo

    BrugmansiaBrujo Titanium Member

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    Ha HA[​IMG]

    Something along the lines of Alfa's idea, was done by one of my friends. His brother was always stealing his blow. He put some plain old table salt into a morter and pestle, pounded it to a fine fowder, and put it in an empty blow baggie. Then he left it laying on the garage floor near his workbench, like it fell out of his pocket or something. His brother took it and snorted it. Ouch! His bro quit taking his blow though.
     
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  12. Be-Bop

    Be-Bop Silver Member

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    Yes, these are the NEW, super-heavy-amazing kind of Adderall...No, i won't give you any coz they are just too strong!!! I'm sorry, but i don't think you could handle them! They're GREAT tho'...fuckin' amazing!!!!


    I like, i like.....[​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG].......[​IMG](squirt squirt)
     
  13. korky8097

    korky8097 Gold Member

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    Well i have been talking to him more lately and i do believe he has realized what he was doing. He had been lieing to his girlfriend all the time about his little crazy episodes saying in the end that I GAVE him the adderalls. Now he is finally admited to her and me to stealing them a few times, which is a big step. I believe alot of weight has been taken off his shoulders for now and since he used amps as an escape, he hasnt too much to escape from. He and his girlfriend are now actually being truthful with one another and quitting the lieing and fighting bullshit (for the most part), his parents have cut out the weekly UA's so he is able to smoke weed (really evens that kid out), and he has finished building his camero. So all in all, its not over yet, but he has taken some major steps. At this point it could go 2 ways, the freedom will lead him back to amps as it did when he started, or he will wake up and cut this shit out for good. Only time will tell.

    BTW: ahha, i think spiking the shit would be hillarious, but hes a pretty crazy guy and i could actually see him placeboing *might be a word* himself to actually gaining amp effects from laxatives. Still something i should do as an april fools joke, actually i think i will[​IMG]


    Edited by: korky8097
     
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  14. bonghed

    bonghed Newbie

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    if a cat shits on your floor you rub its nose in it. basically he will steal off you simply because he can, now i know u love him and all that shit, but i would of smacked him the first time and said u ever steal off me agen i'm gna fuk u up then get out my life. You can't let people steal off u espescially friends, i mean c'mon, just be stronger and stand your ground, it'll be harder now because he'll be used to having it easy.





    ps glad it workin out


    (also try to avoid him trying meth and coke or crack, it would likley be 100000000000000x worse


    (also a "mate" has stolen only 20mg of valium from swim, next time he came round i had "pods from a valium plant (lol i no it doesn't exist) and he had a rather bizarre time for 2 days. Nobodies sure but it might have been datura........serve the cunt rightEdited by: bonghed
     
  15. korky8097

    korky8097 Gold Member

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    just thought id add a Major update. My freind has been admitted into rehab 6 hours away from here. I will fill in the details tommorow.
     
  16. korky8097

    korky8097 Gold Member

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    Alright, heres the scoop. Over thanksgiving break he was with his family, and decided to get terribly wasted right in front of them, not even being able to talk to his grandmother. He was puking up blood and claiming he was on valium although im not sure on that one. Then in the middle of the night his mom woke up to him looking through her bag for ambeins or vikes. So after his parents had to see him in this state, they decided it was time for him to go to rehab. He didnt argue or fight it, he admited he had a problem which is good and went willingly. I thought he was getting better but i guess not, kinda sucks that he will miss the stones concert that we were going to go to, but hes doing what he has to do. Anyway thats the update