Been cola'in for about 48 hrs, got a paltry 3 hours sleep in the past 72 or so. It's 96 degrees outside, and a bit warmer indoors. Walked to the store to grab a few things, and I was mumbling stuff to the cashier that made little sense and was getting funny looks. Very hard to walk, talk and act normal but there's this terminal drive in me to look ""like other people"". Everything is misty and I can only see what I look at directly... my peripheral vision is gone. Light is too bright and it's all misty looking. Want badly to sleep but the heat and cola make it impossible, so I log onto drugs-forum.com and post something for the hell of it. No clue if I'm making sense or not, but the computer is a safe, reliable medium (been into computers since 1984 and type 110+ words/minute), it's about the only thing I can do without forgetting what I was about to do. Interesting day this is. I'm on a fixed income, it's the 9th and my bank account is almost empty. At least I paid all the bills, fast, fast, fast on the 1st and 2nd, get 'em paid and forget 'em. Time to sell something else I'd promised myself I'd keep. Telling myself it's just 'stuff' and I'll buy it again, but don't know... don't know, don't know. Insanity and death keep approaching and then backing away again like they're not quite brave enough to approach and strike. No matter how much cola, it's *always* almost gone. Lately there's a deep panic and terror in me at the thought of it being almost gone. When I think about that, I feel a sense of panic and terror that I would be panicked and terrified of running out of (coca) cola. Yeah, they've come to snuff the rooster -- yeah. Yeah, here come the rooster... no he ain't gonna die. Ain't found a way to kill me yet, eyes burn with stinging sweat. Blow up the outside world. When it's gone, send me a postcard from hell.