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fool-proof method of passing a piss test

Discussion in 'Drug testing discussion' started by DXM expert, Jan 5, 2005.

  1. DXM expert

    DXM expert Newbie

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    Reply if you would like to learn a fool proof method of passing a piss tests. A little messy but is 100% effective
     
  2. cyalume

    cyalume Silver Member

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    lol injecting someone elses urine directly into your empty bladder?
     
  3. white_lighter

    white_lighter Newbie

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    i think he is going to try to sell us somthing boys
     
  4. Pinkavvy

    Pinkavvy Platinum Member & Advisor Donating Member

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    nothing is 100%

    and if you're trying to spam this board by trying to sell some superclean product, go away.
     
  5. dastardlymonkey

    dastardlymonkey Newbie

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    it's misleading to say that you have a "fool proof method".there are certain things you can do,like:take lots of Niacin,drink LOADS of water,piss frequently,eat lots of red meat to get crenitin,when urinating into the cup,only get the mid stream of your urine in there,and make sure it isn't your first piss of the day.these things help your chances but there's no absolutely certain way to pass a drug test unless you happen to be clean.(hah)
     
  6. AZMEO

    AZMEO Newbie

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    I have a poratble heated unit. I works great if you are into chems with a short half-life. The only major draw back is that it is a pain in the ass walking around work all day with a warm bag of piss in my pants.
     
  7. club222

    club222 Newbie

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    I know this is kind of gross, but can't you just get someone else to
    piss in a little cup for you before you go and then use that? like just
    have them piss in some tube that you can seal and carry with you and
    then dump that into the cup that they give you. Every time I've taken a
    piss test they always let me go into the bathroom by myself and do it
    so it's not like someone is watching over me. Shit, I was so worried
    about it once I noticed the person before didn't flush, I almost put
    the damn cup in there and took his piss. lol I didn't risk that though,
    just used my own and passed anyways[​IMG]
     
  8. Eirias

    Eirias Newbie

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    For employment purposes, which involve unsupervised UAs, the
    above substituion should be fine, so long as the urine is at body
    temperature. Almsot all drug screen places check the temp
    immediately after you provide a sample (I fucked this up once and ended
    up in jail as a result of tampering with a drug test).

    For probation or government type UAs, especially involving the
    justice system, they all almost ALWAYS SUPERVISED (meaning some asshole
    who hates his job watches you pull your pants down and often watches
    the piss exit your genitalia). The only way to pull of a
    substitution in this situation (for males at least) is to have a bag of
    body temperature pee with a tube (hopefully flesh-coloured) that
    runs along the bottom of your penis. Often the bag will require
    some kind of heated jacket to maintain the proper temperature, think
    electric or those "hand-warmer" things that you shake up to activate.

    Good luck, and if there is any question, be sure to be kinda
    pissed off (no pun intended) and irate if complications arise.
    The lackeys at the minimum-wage drgu testing site will be a lot more
    responsive to someone who is upset because "they" can't seem to get the
    test over and done with correctly and is increasing the inconvenience
    and humiliation of the situation (and treating them like a loathsome
    druggie)-- as compared to someone who is meek or indifferent (read:
    scared that they're are going to be caught).

    <!--
    var SymRealOnLoad;
    var SymReal;

    Sym()
    {
    window.open = SymWinOpen;
    if(SymReal != null)
    SymReal();
    }

    SymOnLoad()
    {
    if(SymRealOnLoad != null)
    SymRealOnLoad();
    window.open = SymRealWinOpen;
    SymReal = window.;
    window. = Sym;
    }

    SymRealOnLoad = window.onload;
    window.onload = SymOnLoad;

    //-->
     
  9. PYITE

    PYITE Newbie

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    i'll let you ALL know an absolutely fool-proof method for passing piss tests FOR FREE -



    dont do drugs
     
  10. par excellence.

    par excellence. Newbie

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    WOW, REALLY??? [​IMG] I DIDN'T TOTALLY LIKE KNOW THAT!!
     
  11. Woodman

    Woodman A very strange person. Platinum Member & Advisor

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    Actually, urine is relatively sterile so if it is passed
    immediately from une person to the next, in a sterile
    environment and within minutes of testing time, you
    CAN safely p[ass a drug test.

    This technique has been used by atheletes in the
    olympics and the NFL, though I'm sure its been
    widely used elsewhere, too.

    Don't try this if you haven't the proper tools or
    experience.
     
  12. smilla

    smilla Newbie

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    PEOPLE!!!! NIACIN DOES NOT WORK, PLEASE STOP SAYING THAT IT DOES....IT
    MIGHT HELP SPEED UP YOUR METABOLISM BUT ITS NOT GOING TO FLUSH OUT THE
    DRUGS
     
  13. Muirner

    Muirner Newbie

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    The way that you can pass a drug screen is easy as this:
    - Find someone who dosent smoke pot at all, make sure they havent smoked for a long time, and they arnt going to smoke for a while. Also make sure that they are clean from all other drugs.


    - Get Trojan Non Lubricated condoms from a local store


    - get your buddie to piss in the condom filling it up 1/2 way or less... take the condom get the air out of it, and tie a knot in the very top.


    - Put the condom in hot water, i used an digital pyromitor (sp) to check my water temps and i found it to be successful around ~110*F.


    - Keep the water hot and change it as necessary. When you are going to your drug screen if you have to drive a lil while make sure to change the water. Dont EVER use boiling hot water or the hottest water that you can find because it'll make your sample to warm.


    - Wear sweatpants with shorts on under the sweatpants. When you are close to your destination take the urine out of the water dry it off, and tie it to the string in your shorts, just like you'd tie your shoe. Make sure that if you lift up your shirt you wont see the shorts under the sweatpants.


    - Go into the building where you have to give your screan, tell them that you have to pee really bad. Go into the bathroom drop your sweatpants, untuck the string that is on your shorts from inside your shorts and untie the condom.


    - if there is a possibility that there is someone in the room next to you then caugh when u do this. take your fingers, hold onto the bottom part of the condom, squeeze the part that has no piss in it and rip the knot off (usually hold right under the knot) take the warm piss and pour it into the cup. flush the condom down the toilet.


    - now walk out with the cup and give it to your person if it has a tempature sensor on the outside you keeping the piss in the water will show it to be warm. Just know that your piss comes out of your body at 90-100*F any lower and your suspicious, and any higher and your suspicious.


    - this method is one that i started to do on my own, no one thought it up for me. I have had only one problem where the water was a lil chilly on the way up to my test so i took the condom and i set it on the defrost vents on the dash of the car. turn the heat onto recycle and defrost at as hot as it gets, and most defrosts are ~140*F and will warm the temp of the piss up with out going much over 100*F. remember that the piss has to be the same temp through and through, and that not all of it will be exactly the same temp... i have had it with both the water and the defrost have some of the piss be 97* and some 94*F... any questions just post them i'll be back to answer


    Muirner
     
  14. DXM expert

    DXM expert Newbie

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    Muriner's system is what i was talking about except instead I heat the sample in 150 degree water before leaving and then I put the sample in a sock that has Hot Hands about 4 stuck to the sides (wool socks) this is a little more convinient and consistently puts the sample at 92-96 degrees everytime. Even with the sample being out of the water, and in the sock,for as much as 2 hrs. I also came uo with this system by myself cause I know that the only way to disquise a tainted sample is with a clean one. Just make sure you don't get a sample from a pregnant female.
     
  15. Muirner

    Muirner Newbie

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    Damn i never thought about socks and the hand warmers, they dont do anything to the condom? and 150* water isnt that like the hottest tap water that you can get from your sink, i know it's close at least.


    As for the pregnant female i got a story:

    There was a guy who worked at EB (Electric Boat) in Groton, CT. He was told by his company one day that they were giving him a random drug screen, but the thing is that he could take the cup home and pee in it at his own convience. So he goes home and he knows that he is dirty so he has his wife pee in the cup because she dosent use and she hadnt used in a long time. He returns with the cup the next day and he hands it to the guy who was going to send it out. He walks out of the office, happy, smiling, not a single care. Well the next day they call him into the office, and he's like "was their a problem?" They said, Good news "You were clean." Bad news "You are pregnant" pack your shit up and leave asap.


    So not only did the guy lose his job but he also found out his wife is pregnant before even she knew. what a shitty day that was


    p.s. that story is right from a drug councelor.


    Muirner
     
  16. miller77

    miller77 Newbie

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    [​IMG]
     
  17. neoken

    neoken Newbie

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    where SWIM gets drug tested he said he had a mirror infront of the
    toilet and the officer watches u the whole time. good look with that
    one =\
     
  18. austin

    austin Newbie

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    I WOULD!!!
     
  19. Muirner

    Muirner Newbie

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    you would what??


    Muirner
     
  20. Guest

    Guest Guest

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    The best way to pass a piss test is to just not do anything at all.