How do you feel when you don't have amphetamines

Discussion in 'Amphetamines addiction' started by izzy31, Apr 28, 2007.

  1. izzy31

    izzy31 Newbie

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    How does You cope with everything when they DONT have it? I believe using speed does have a potential positive effect, but problems seem to arise when You doesnt have it - tasks seems much more difficult than they really are. Even with non-excessive use and maintaing a normal routine (going to bed every night, eating normally even if I amn't hungry, ect) and taking sober breaks ever now and then (which are at least a week or more without it), I feel down and less compelled to do things.
     
  2. Nicaine

    Nicaine Titanium Member

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    Re: Speed - when You doesn't have it

    Isn't that the problem with all drug use, trying to cope with NOT having it? LOL. In SWIM's opinion there's only one way -- quit for awhile, then one's natural energy and motivation will come back (at least to a large extent). Then use much less often after that.

    If it's a genuine issue with depression, it might be worth at least trying to quit speed completely and go on antidepressants for awhile. That could bring back normal mood & energy levels.
     
  3. stoneinfocus

    stoneinfocus Silver Member

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    Re: Speed - when You doesn't have it

    true, why geting off anyway? :D fortunately I had never had to cope with depression or lack of energy when coming off, so to him it´s pretty much no issue in not having it, to him it´d be more like missing someone you´d like to see and enjoy from time to time, a lack of diversity...

    otherwise Nicaines right maybe before trying the anti-depüressants, try dong some sports, energy will come back to a greater extend than expected, while doing it (endo-drugs do wonders, you would never believe while, missing them and doing no sports, it´s just not giving up for at least 20-45 minutes to resolve the deepest depressions within swim ;-) )
     
  4. xanthracks

    xanthracks Newbie

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    ^^what You said...

    oh yeah.. try when ur coming down a nice sized bag o cock; and do it cold turkey... it's the only way to get back energy levels... sleep depervation can be and is very damaging
     
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  5. Nicaine

    Nicaine Titanium Member

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    Re: Speed - when You doesn't have it

    I have had serious problems with sleep deprivation recently (both chronic/long term and acute) and he can attest to it taking a horrible toll on both the body and mind.
     
  6. stoneinfocus

    stoneinfocus Silver Member

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    Re: Speed - when You doesn't have it

    I think the damaging effects of sleep deprivation are exaggerated, although it feels like hell and is, seemingly, sometimes the most unpleasant emotional hell, with time standing still, it´s nonetheless more a cosmetic problem, that, in normal men, is resolved within the time it takes to cure a serious hang-over of an alcohol intoxication.

    You´re just prone to take it too serious, when you´re feeling that bad at that moment or think back of it and are then prone to accept some exaggerating propaganda, but there´re some rare illnesses where peolple don´t get sleep for months or years (!), without that much damage done as one might expect, from the feel a few weeks binge gives; they can live pretty much "normal" in the sense of their sickness.

    Having the will to fight for a strong physique, rather than sitting it all out in front of the TV, with benzos, cigarettes and a booze, pays in the end psychologically and physically, of course. (just because you use speed or stims in general you don´t have to look like the crystal meth hell walking the earth).

    Sides of any medication can be seriously reduced by an adapted and intelligent lifetyle, e.g. I take doses of corticosterroids that are well over the cushingoid threshold, because he has asthma and it helps for his pain, but he isn´t fat, nor does he has a full-moon face or the typical cushingoid side-effects, becuase he couteracts the sides within his lifestyle and adapted drug-use to minimize dose and sides.
     
  7. izzy31

    izzy31 Newbie

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    Re: Speed - when You doesn't have it

    Now I know what happened - he started doing it to help with his concentration and at some point he forgot about what it feels like to live life off the drug and didnt realize he was only doing it to feel the high (everyday) and so he tried to enjoy normal things but just found that no matter what he'd only want more and more when the whole reason he started was to do better in things he used to care about like school and other stuff. He started only functioning when he was high and whenever he was out of speed he just slept as much as he could because he didnt want to deal with anything. SWIM realizes how addicted he really is and it's overwhelming. SWIM think's he might have a drink. Or perhaps a panic attack.
     
  8. humdroid

    humdroid Silver Member

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    Re: Speed - when You doesn't have it

    I have left the speed alone for a bit too and has had major depression and a general "NO thanks" to life.
    This was sparked by high tolerance and resentment of self for using too often, and this is why SWIM still dosent fancy a bomb, even though there is a dependency issue with SWIM.
    Being mindful of the fact that low moods, apathy, tiredness are part and parcel of "non-speed days" and also keeping that much coveted "Speed free week" in sight is what is keeping SWIM off the speed. I need to know they can be without speed so running out isnt a crisis in future, also SWIM stopped enjoying it as much due to feeling fear of dependance.
    The biggest irony is that I need to eat when speeding as not eating makes me ill.
    I am finding it hard eating while not on speed, but is assuming appetite will come back soon.
    Depression is what keeps SWIM thin, and SWIM put on two stones once the speed habit (small) took hold a couple of years ago. This was due to increased motivation to cook and increased enthusiasm of food.
    Speed isnt the way though, as increased use has caused weight LOSS in the majority of people.
    The comedown symptoms are NOT permanent, but speed users have to accept some decrease in the things speed appeared to help, the important thing is keeping positive.

    ps although tempting, alcohol is not a friend. It increases negativity and paranoia in SEIM. Supplements and easy to eat but nutritious food is where I am at. Supplements for mood (have a google and also read readers reviews to see which supplement you fancy)
     
  9. lyndon

    lyndon Newbie

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    I hasn't stopped taking phet as yet! and has a habit going back nearly 20 years.....
    i work, have comfortable home life, i have been engaged for 13years & both me & girlfriend
    are perfectly happy with that...and a family that is aware of swims habit and help swim by giving
    swim rations on daily bases so swim dont cane the lot....

    swim admitted to swims self long ago that I was a speed freak and always will be swim dealt with and accept this swim knows the pro and cons I am 37 and knows he will be lucky to get to 45/50....

    the scary thing is I had accepted this death sentence all for the love of speed.....
    swims brother is also phet head of 20years and due to chemical imbalance he has is now
    under mental health and the doctors say he has either bi-polar or has hasbergs.
    but when on phet he's perfectly normal and capable of normal things without phet what is
    left is a pathetic depressed hyped up excited rampaging phsyco i'm scared stiff of stopping..
    what if due to phet i'm not well after..

    i can tell that due to 20 yrs phet abuse i'm not the same person that i have mental health
    problems now-ish...
    what mean is i know i'm not ok there is perminant damage not in a fruitcake way i mean
    swim know my thinking and thoughts are not me and i'm aware of this when it happens

    I am content for now as I has reliable supply of phet which has not let swim down in 20 years...but I would love to be able to wake up in morning and be capable of choice.....
    people take choice for granted... the no.. not today or yes.. i fancy dabble....today..

    instead phet controls my thoughts / actions swim day revolves around phet down to were go and what do depending on what amount left.every waking thought involves phet.....

    swim girlfriend does support him while doing phet...but she is not aware of how shit scarred I am about not stopping or stopping . about the future I want to be able to be dad ave own family settle down with the lady that has stuck by me through out no matter what
     
  10. cyndi

    cyndi R.I.P. Silver Member

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    I am struggling with this issue right now. She has good and bad days, today bad. Well her life used to be revolved around scoring and using so that was a tough pattern to break. She was so whacked out in the end she wasn't doing anything anyway so she really gets more done sober. She is struggling with depression so no answer there. Addiction tells her to do it and she will be "happy" when that isn't really the case. Others say find nonsober happy things, well still working on that one. Her life is chaotic right now. She doesn't honestly think meth will make the situation better really worse. Presently yeah she is going thru a bad craving so trying to work thru it.
     
  11. humdroid

    humdroid Silver Member

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    Good Feelings

    Swimmy gets full of herself the longer she goes with out base.
    She lets it get to her head and every time she feels down she says in her mind "well, at least that stuff isnt here
    She can wee properly eventually, and her back stops aching.
    Her feet and ankles empty their water after a few days off, and she can put on her shoes again.

    Bad feelings

    Swimmy seems less grounded.
    Swimmy rushes around.
    Swimmy is obsessed.
    Swimmy is given to sudden flashes of rage turned inward.
    Swimmy is tearful.
    Swimmy cant be arsed.
    Swimmys food goes straight through her.
    Swimmy loses weight, as the base is not there to motivate her to eat.
    Swimmy gets depressed and anxious.
    Swimmy fears she may turn back into a stoner as speed stopped spliffy.
     
  12. Moonage Daydream

    Moonage Daydream Silver Member

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    that's weird because my cat also now eats on it, in fact if not eating three small meals a day then kitty feels light headed and dizzy, "feeling Victorian" she likes to say! Also can't stay up as long as she used to, only really enjoys days 1 and 2. Psychosomatic thing when the cat runs out of feeling ill and incredibly moody (mood can change in 5 minute cycles!) as well as tired and can't wait for anything, v uncomfy in own skin and too slow for words! When kitty decides not to do it, but there is amphetamine available in the flat, it is a lot easier than when I am totally out due to... unforeseen supply troubles she supposes...
    My feline acquaintance has not done without for more than 5 days it has to be said, in at least a year if not more. But on positive side the cat used to consume about 10g a week and now only 2g, well ...sometimes more like 5 when kitty goes to see other cats in London, and so knows that she has recovery time away from work -( another great irony is the fact that cats at work are much more suspicious when kitty is down than up! ). Anyway that was doable by completely quitting for 2 1/2 years but trouble is seems v unenticing as she looks absurdly healthy (all her own teeth!) and ridiculously looked ill YEARS after quitting but that was due to piling on 2 and a half stone (kitty is already rather fat by speed freak standards at nine and a half stone)
    In little abstinence periods recently she has found that forcing herself to exercise for about an hour per day really helps with mood, as do other lesser stimulants such as
    endless espressos and decent strength ephedrine.
    by the way so sorry to have gone on - actually speedless tonight believe it or not - another thing kitty gets is the "wrong" type of hyperactivity - ie nervous unfocussed and ADD like (in this case means Amphetamine Deficit Disorder *groan*)
     
  13. humdroid

    humdroid Silver Member

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    When Ida has no amphetamines, it's an understatement to say she is down.
    She once joked, "Elvis Presley and Princess Diana Spencer, strode into Ida's living room, and shagged, right on the mat, in front of Ida. Michael Jackson filmed it all.
    Ida, she wasn't arsed.
    She was on a comedown.
    Ida down.

    Ida hasnt been able to take speed for some reason or another, whatever reasons, the choice to use feels out of her hands.
    The dip in supply started it all off, Ida was forced onto an indefinite break. She couldnt even get outside to put the rubbish out for the binmen.
    After about two weeks, it didnt look like depression was lifting, and a mate, Ian, offered her some base (uk fast stuff) as a thank you for cooking his tea, and she even turned that down, saying "nah, cant be arsed"

    Ideally, Ida would like to become Idont, when it comes to doing speed.
    She would like to be able to take it, but seems she cant, she still wants the high, so she wont need to think about speed again.

    Base, one in the face to you, you drug with attitude.

    humdroid added 13 Minutes and 6 Seconds later...

    Everything in Isobels life was controlled by phets too.
    She had an addiction lasting nearly four years.
    It was only a combination of circumstances which forced her off, as she still misses it.
    The bad outweighted the good, for Iso though, although the good was good, Iso wasn't prepared for the bad being so bad, so this is why, she thinks, she is not up to taking speed these days.
    Iso had a pair of controlling parents who were quite extreme in their stunting, emotionally, and socially, of Iso.
    Iso was intelligent, but her parents controlle her, till her breakdown, when Iso moved yon end of country, out of their way.
    Iso could feel this control coming from phettys, and this was too much for Iso's fragile mind, so Iso has had to turn down the last couple of offers of phetty.

    humdroid added 7 Minutes and 51 Seconds later...


    thanks for the good, and very easy to relate to, post, says Ireeneezee.
    Ireeneezee also feels uncomfy in own skin, that's why excercise is out of the question. The spacey mental symptoms just make her feel unwell.
    Ireeneezee can also relate to the "wrong" type of hyperactivity - ie nervous unfocussed and ADD like (in this case means Amphetamine Deficit Disorder *groan*).
    Ireen is clumsy, and feels like she is walking up a steep hill and getting nowhere except hot and bothered. On speed, she would have just zipped up there, but its all a debit credit system, and Ireen tells me now, she is well in credit, a few weeks clean.
    Feeling like farts trapped in the glove compartment of a smelly car, but still, cleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean, Ireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean.
     
    Last edited: Jan 19, 2009
  14. cra$h

    cra$h Palladium Member

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    when I amn't on amphetamines, the world moves faster. It gets hard to keep up, and his mind slips out of the American "jetstream", where we all just go go go, thoughtless, and those who think are thrown out left to bite the dust.
     
  15. SmokeRings

    SmokeRings Titanium Member

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    I got a 1g bag of Ice (meth) for NYE and smoked until it was gone. A tiny bowl the following Wednesday before work was the final one. I did sleep and such, she wasn't awake for almost a week, it was actually probably the weaket Ice I have had to date, she slept every night (other than NYE) and could smoke 3-4 bowls from around 6pm to 10pm, then start her "go to bed routine" but she wasn't that disappointed to be honest, it still got her high, but not to full on tweak stage like she is at the moment!
    SWIM just got 3g last night, so she was without for several weeks. This batch is super strong, she thinks she prefers what most would consider a not so great batch and bitch and moan about. SWIM wonders if whoever makes it can make her a special "low dose" batch like the NYE bag! lol
    She went a little psycho to be honest. She has bipolar disorder, so that just makes it all that much worse. Freaked out on friends and family and doctors about wanting to die, life was pointless, blah, blah.
    I was so retarded, she didn't realize until Friday of last week, that it was what she had been reading about on various forums and such about the side effects for weeks after a binge. She hated it and is now deciding if this is her last bag, or if she just needs to take it much slower when she does have it.
    I am currently tweaking, up for 30 or so hours now, 2 or 3 bowls last night (shared between 3 people, big bowls, generally a dozen or so big hits per bowl), 1/2 a bowl this morning before work (SWIM only) and 1.5 bowls this evening (SWIM only), took some OTC sleeping meds to start coming down and has plenty of bad-ass hydro to smoke to get to bed here soon.
    I didn't really even THINK about Ice until she wanted it again (but it obviously had to be in her subconscious due to the side effects I think), she described it yesterday as "a complete and total empty feeling in your gut". But that was in reference to knowing she was going to have to wait for it, and she wanted it RIGHT THEN. I was supposed to have her order by 7pm, but it didn't arrive until 12am, that was a long-ass 5 hours, maybe the longest of her life. SWIM knew she should just wait and call it a night at midnight, but that's the downfall of meth, once you see it, it's like the baggie tells you in your head that you will be insulting it if you don't partake! Damned little pink baggie.
    I am confident she can sleep soon, but has been wondering (cuz she's tweaked) if she's going to start craving. This is only her second purchase, all other times were at a friends house, they supplied, SWIM gave them money, but didn't take any home w/her when it was time to be done. I am worried that the Ice starting to get a grip.

    PSYCH!
    I am a big fan of Ice and uses it about 2 times a month, generally up for 36-48 hours, I amn't down w/the "shadow people" so SWIM makes sure to start taking downers about 4 hours prior to wanting to be able to sleep. It's a dance of sorts I suppose, gotta love people's personal drug regimes! I am a grown-up now and see's no reason to try and "see who can stay up the most amount of days". People never cease to amaze!
    If I feel the need to hallucinate, she's more than happy to shroom, E or LSD her way into hallucinating. SWIM wonders why she's read some people on this forum talking about their longest awake, and several discussed "72 or 48 hours w/out sleep, not drug induced" and wonders why anyone would want to force themselves to stay awake that long without being on drugs! lol
    I have been all over the forum tonight and keeps repeating herself, because her philosphy relates everywhere. People ALLOW themselves to become addicts. Those drugs aren't forcing themselves down your throats, it's ultimately up to YOU on how you decide to live your life. SWIM personally has been smoking weed since she was 14, and 10 years of daily smoking, with the occassional break when on vacation or business trip (although she did score some crap dirt weed in Chicago last summer, apparently it was just schwag, but I got high, so it was worth it to her) and has a great job, making great money, owns her own home, keeps it clean, keeps herself and her adorable dog clean, she's known in our circle of friends as "Stoner Martha Stewart". Only two people know that she's taken up smoking Ice, the two people that she does it with, the one's who intro'ed her into it several months ago and taught her how (in all fairness, she knew they did and asked to try it, no one forced anyone to do anything, they were actually hesitant at first)
    SWIM generally doesn't keep secrets from her friends, but knows that this will start some sort of "intervention" by them, so she just keeps it on the down low. my in self destruct mode from a bad break up in September. I think she tried it for the first time in October, but she isn't positive, if anything, it was later, rather than sooner.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2009
  16. Moonage Daydream

    Moonage Daydream Silver Member

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    Kitty is annoying herself by looking mournfully at her almost empty speed bag. Last week she spent half a week's wages on it which is scary when thought of like that.
    Amphetamine "makes" (ie she allows herself to be carried away, nothing really makes you do anything) her spend somewhat unwisely and at least when she runs out she saves cash cos you can't spend in your sleep! Being aware of this irresponsible behaviour makes controlling it easier.
    When kitty lost 2 stone on it she rushed out to buy loads of clothes two sizes smaller, though the mildly chubby wardrobe is still there for when she gives it a rest.
    Still she is creative and does useful stuff on it, meaning making bags and jewellery, doing art, writing tedious job application forms. She thinks her stimulant habits are worse in winter in an attempt to combat SAD and attendant relative lethargy...
    Today our talkative tabby friend is in slight comedown mode hibernating in her flat which looks a bit like a psychedelic hotel room! She slept at 6am this morning and is somewhat drained though actually went to sleep with surprising ease...
    This cat never takes downers to sleep, she just waits for it to come naturally because she would rather be annoyed at not being able to sleep than having a horrible unclear head in the morning.
    Kitty is not allowed any speed on workdays she is working wed to fri. This still means, given that she works a funny shift pattern (part time and more weekends than she cares for) that her bloodstream almost always has speed in it.
    Ok so she is meandering off the topic, kitty is demotivated and cravey and will indulge in a line or three because she isn't happy about an afternoon/evening of inertia...
     
  17. ~lostgurl~

    ~lostgurl~ Platinum Member & Advisor Donating Member

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    Please stay on topic, this thread is about how you feel when NOT using amphetamines.
     
  18. humdroid

    humdroid Silver Member

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    Amphets are a funny thing, eh!

    Haray is not on it now, but theres some little speed bomb critters floating around in his abode, should he want some, but he dosen't?:confused:
    Haray hates not being on speed, yet why dosen't he bosh one of these flying little white critters?
    They've been flying around for a week or more, these little wrong-uns, and as Haray hates being lethargic and apathetic, you'd think he would catch one and bosh it.
    ??? is what Haray says, "Tomorrow, I will".
    Tomorrow comes, H says, "Hmmmmmmm speeed, for breakfast, again, :(is that all there is to his life? !"
    "Energy, motivation, the confidence to be in his own skin, but without the speed? please?"
    Speed is the only energy and life Haray has ever known, even though he hasnt been taking it all that long, in speed freak terms.

    Confused? :confused:Haray is, as he loves the stuff, and these current little critters are the dogs gonads, so wtf?

    Haray concludes, that when he is not on speed, his thoughts are contradictory.
    He knows he loves speed, but wishes there was another source of energy, confidence, and motivation, other than.
    And an attention span would be nice.
     
  19. Moonage Daydream

    Moonage Daydream Silver Member

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    Attention span... kitty seems to have lost that today as she is decelerating and none too happy though feeling a little better now.
    Very boring cravings. My cat is bored of her own head, and there is no escaping that.
    There is absolutely none well nearly none in her house and that always makes enforced abstenance hard.
    Will be getting new consignment soon but she is hating her own company until then
     
  20. mrspopdog

    mrspopdog Newbie

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    funny thing??? (not after 20 yrs using ,its not funny)
     
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