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How To Beat Drug Tests

Discussion in 'Drug testing discussion' started by Superball, Oct 14, 2004.

  1. CoolMommaDucky

    CoolMommaDucky Newbie

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    Females Only:
    My pet duck, Dixie, and many of her friends, Have worked out a substitution method that has never failed them, No matter how close the nurse wants to get.
    The trick is to find the right size bottle ,travel shampoo bottles work great. The neck (where the lid screws on) must be smaller than the bottle, but large enough for your finger.
    The smaller neck helps insure the bottle stays in the right place, and doesn't slide out too easily with the added weight of the urine.
    This is some thing you will want to practice at home first.
    Also different bottles work better for different people, so try a few different bottles and positions. (ALWAYS MAKE SURE OUTSIDE OF BOTTLE IS CLEAN!)
    Remember you will have to be able to sit, stand and walk.
    Do not worry, the bottle can NOT get stuck or "lost" inside you.
    Just relax for a few minutes, and pushing it out is easy.
    Fill your clean bottle almost to the top with warm urine, making sure to leave a small air bubble,
    Cover lid with one or two layers alluminum foil, secure well with clean rubber bands.
    Cut off excess foil, pressing the rest tightly aroung the neck.
    Turn upside down to check for leaks, a pantyliner is good in case or small drips.
    Empty bladder, Insert into vagina. When it is placed correctly, you should hardly feel it.
    This method will keep the urine at your exact body temp. no matter how long they make you wait,
    At the Test-
    Sit on the toliet, place cup between legs (slightly farther back than normal..practice) bearing down slightly, poke a hole in the foil, letting the urine run into the cup.
    Quickly wipe making sure the bottle stays in for the moment.
    Pull your pants up, and give your clean sample to the nurse. = )

    A few other tricks for those not watched as closely-
    Hot hands- sold at Walmart in sporting goods 6/$2, Will keep urine in temp range
    for hours will no worry of burns.
    A friend used the bottle with foil top and a Hot Hands wrapped around and tapped to crotch/ groin, with long T-shirt.
    Another freind would wear a long loose dress with the bottle fixed as above and tied on a log string aroung her neck.

    Also from trial and error, I have found that- Hydrocodone, Oxycodone, and Methadone can be added to clean urine, if you need it to test positive. It doesn't take much, a tiny crumb. You don't want it to look like you are taking to much.
    Xanax will not work this way, I do not know for sure about any others.
    At one time everyone at the clinic was doing this, so they randomly started testing a few specificly, But I know it was very expensive. So, I am not sure if that works for all tests or not.

    Well, Dixie, sure hopes she helped someone out.
    Wishing Everyone a great day!
    Much Love to all,
    cmd
     
  2. Micklemouse

    Micklemouse Platinum Member & Advisor

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    Re: spiking a sample with methadone - don't bother. Many field urinalysis tests will now test for EDDP, the metabolite of methadone, only detectable if the subject has actually ingested methadone. If there is doubt that a subject is keeping up with the program the sample can be sent for further testing.
     

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  3. smokeasac

    smokeasac Newbie

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    Listen close afoaf swears this works for oral swab tests. just dont smoke for 1 day before the test and then use hydrogen peroxide as a mouthwash the morning of the test. Afoaf has done this multiple times and always passed
     
  4. Pain Hurts

    Pain Hurts Mercury Member

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    my singlasses consumed about 0.5gram of cocaine (poor quality) and was given a + report after 8 days of cleansing and doing all things right.

    VERY FEW people can believe this but it is absolutely TRUE. Thankfully another test was administered a week later and the results were - negative ....

    My sunglasses went into a full blown tirade on the pain doc and he ended up having a slight panic attack , face turned blood red, and simply said; "I am feeling very uncomfortable right now and the paper does not lie" ... on the first test. ... the second test seemed to have no affect on the staffs perception and my sunglasses reputation was forever tainted.

    Relationship ended right there when the 2nd test showed no cocaine.
    Note: you need to locate the post on this overall experience ~~ as the entire pain clinic staff has an agenda of treating every patient as a hardened criminal and are fully against all opioid treatment. It was a nightmare, and this is the understatement of the year.
     
  5. Micklemouse

    Micklemouse Platinum Member & Advisor

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    And bleach is such a tasty mouthwash too.
     
  6. kailey_elise

    kailey_elise Gold Member

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    Pain Hurts, I had an oral swab come back dirty for cocaine 11 days after I'd last done it. Granted, I'd been doing at least a gram a day for the month previous to that, but I still think it was a 'false positive' that happened to have come up while I really had done cocaine in the somewhat-recent past. Oral swabs in particular are only supposed to pick up "recent use". Although I still had to wait for my takehomes, my counselor believed me that I hadn't gotten high; after all, for 10 of those days I'd been in the hospital, and the test was 6 hours after I'd gotten home. ;) I hadn't even gotten money yet, nevermind having had been able to call a dealer! *LOL*

    MM, I don't understand your comment. I understand hydrogen peroxide is a mild bleaching agent, but it *quite* commonly used as an oral rinse, by people who aren't trying to beat drug tests, even! ;) It even mentions that use on the 3% hydrogen peroxide bottles you buy at the drugstore...(it says to dilute it 50%, btw)

    ~Kailey
     
  7. Pain Hurts

    Pain Hurts Mercury Member

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    Wow Kailey, that must have been an intense day fr you .... it was for me. The dispensed my meds daily for the month costing me $11 /day.
     
  8. kailey_elise

    kailey_elise Gold Member

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    Yeah, I was livid and very upset, because I had been SO excited to finally have a clean drug screen to provide them, and it was still dirty! My screen was for the methadone clinic (which is where I ended up after becoming addicted to my pain meds *sigh*) and they don't kick you off just for having a dirty screen. But it did mean I had to wait an extra 2 or 3 weeks to start getting my take home doses, which hurt my feelings. Heh. Ugh, I couldn't have afforded daily dispensing; I'm surprised they didn't give you weekly scripts? *shrug*

    Oral swab drug tests, as I said, are only supposed to catch more recent drug use, but all tests have the potential for false positives.

    ~Kailey
     
  9. Pain Hurts

    Pain Hurts Mercury Member

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    The anger and embarrasment ! Humiliation was severe. I am still not over it.
     
  10. alienesseINspace

    alienesseINspace

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    Beating a drug test

    Little Red Riding Hood started smoking marijuana when she was 19. 'Hood experimented with cocaine and acid but did not remain a user of any substance aside from marijuana. She doesn't even like cigarettes and alcohol. Unfortunately 'Hood became ultra-apathetic due to prescribed anti-depressants and prescribed benzos. She did not notice that her roommate was completely psychotic and 'Hood ended up getting into legal trouble.

    The drama resulted in 'Hood being sentenced to 2 years of probation. Little Red Riding Hood started probation in March. As a 29 year old, she had built up 10 years of heavy THC. Also, 'Hood is a "curvy" woman, so she expected her body to take a little bit longer to detox for the urine test given by Harris County Probation. Like most judicial bureaucracy, urine tests are now given by urinating directing into a cup that has the results showing on a built in panel.

    'Hood took her last puff of marijuana on February 14, 2011. On March 22 2011, marijuana was still detectable in the unadulterated urine. On April 24, 'Hood gave an honest sample and it was clean. She believes that her body naturally detoxed over the course of FIVE WEEKS.

    'Hood has a cousin named Goldie Lox. 'Lox is quite a bit skinnier yet had been smoking marijuana for about 6 years heavily. Goldie Lox reported that her urine took 56 days to become clean. Goldie was not in legal trouble but she was applying for high level positions within companies so she home tested daily with a urine kit from Walgreens.

    'Hood and 'Lox both pass along the advice: it is easier to plan to pass a drug test legally than to use drugs and have to be anxious about the results. Little Red Riding Hood does not feel the marijuana is harmful so it was difficult to comply with probation laws at first. Luckily, no professional help was required for either Red or Goldie to quit marijuana. Neither of them know if and when they will smoke again. Red wants to be able to urinate clean for a long time to come.
     
  11. Micklemouse

    Micklemouse Platinum Member & Advisor

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    I shouldn't have been so glib perhaps, but you address my concerns in the above quote Kailey. Hydrogen Peroxide is an oxidising bleach, not just a mild bleaching agent, & the post implies that washing the mouth with this bleach is fine. If he'd stated a heavily diluted mix of a very mild bleach with water swished around the mouth for a short period of time then spat out (example only, not a recommendation), then maybe fair enough. We regularly have posts talking about drinking bleach to beat tests, & this to my mind is at least visiting the same camp. Maybe smokeasac could expand on the strength of bleach used & the dilution, as well as give some idea as to how regularly his monkey smoked before the test, so that if this does actually work it can be done as safely as possible. It would also be interesting to know if anyone has used this method without the days abstinence as I would venture that it was the abstinence not the bleach that made the difference here.
     
  12. WilliamDGoose

    WilliamDGoose Newbie

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    Drinking lots of water before tests works and I have used this before over ten tests, but for some of them I had day or two notice, for some I only had 2 to 3 hour notice. The military rules say not to let person drink more than 12 or so ounces of liquid, so do it fore reporting and also piss a few times before. When giving sample, use the midstream suggestion.
     
  13. TurboGolf

    TurboGolf

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    ok couple questions/comments..

    1) my friend peter griffin tried substitution someone elses urine before but they were able to detect the temperature.. he had his friend piss in a ziplock bag and placed it underneath his balls with 2 hand warmers mounted beneath so it was convered in all directions and wearing tight underwear so it held in place but somehow he failed.. which wasn't a big deal bcuz he complained and stormed out and the company called em and he lied to them and they gave him another chance at a different place where he did the Water/Cranberry juice/ Vitamin B thing and passed just fine ..

    but question is



    2) IF YOU FAIL A DRUG TEST? AND TEST POSITIVE FOR LETS SAY OPIATES... you said the drug tester will REPORT the results and such.. but will the government or cops lets say Come to the persons house and begin questioning them? or will the tester just say he tested positive, he failed and thats it? like does this information get passed around or what happens? Thanks
     
  14. Name Less

    Name Less Silver Member

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    My hamster had been notified of a next-day(!) drug test at a company she used to work for. She had (for certain) cocaine, marijuana, and opiates in her system--taken (largely) up to that day. She emptied an envelope of fruit pectin into a large glass of water and drank it all the night before the test and another the next morning. I am not sure if it was the water or plain luck but the results were negative for everything. This method yielded successful results for two separate drug tests, oral swabbing and urine.

    Good luck.
     
  15. FastFifty

    FastFifty Titanium Member

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    Ok so I don't want to start a new thread because Kailey just sort of touched on my question with her last post here. I am on MMT. I am wondering if you test positive on your dip stick piss test they give you in the office, do they automatically take away your carries, or do they at least confirm it by sending it to a lab before they dole out the punishment?
    The reason why I ask is because I took an ativan a few days ago. I have a box of the dip stick piss tests, so I tested myself to check to make sure I would be clean. Now, of all things, the dipstick is test shows a positive reading for MET500 (methamphetamine with a cut-off rate of 500 ng/ml). I am totally at a loss. Meth was my DOC for almost 10 years, but I just passed my 1 year clean mark on the 18th of March. I have racked my brain but I can't think of anything I have taken that could have given a false positive. (No OTC cold meds or anything like that)
    I have to go to the clinic tomorrow, and it's VERY likely they will do a dip stick test on me. I am wondering what other people's experience is with what happens when you have a dirty test, whether they send it to a lab to confirm with GC-MS, or do they just take away your carries on the spot? (I have never had a dirty test before, will they take that into account?) Also I am located in Canada, I don't know if clinic operations vary from country to country, I'm sure they do to some degree, however, I am interested in hearing anyone's story of what happens at the clinic after a dirty pee test. Thanks guys!
     
  16. kailey_elise

    kailey_elise Gold Member

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    I know at my clinic, on the paperwork they fill out when they're having us do our oral swab drug screens, there are 2 tests & 1 gets checked off. They are exactly the same, but the one that take-home clients get checked off says that confirmatory testing must be done for any positive results other than methadone. Take what you will from that.

    Have you taken another home test? If so, did it also come up positive for methamphetamine? There's a chance it was just a false positive on your test. Otherwise...who knows? Ativan (lorazepam) shares NO metabolites with methamphetamine, so if it's not a false positive, something else is triggering it.

    Well, let us know what happens if you get tested! Do they do dipstick tests right in front of you there? I've only had the pain clinic urine screens, which I didn't get the results of until my next appointment, or the methadone clinic's oral swab tests, which also have to be sent out for processing.

    It probably would still have to go before the takehome committee; depending upon all other factors (do you dose every day you don't have takehomes for, do you go to all groups, are you in good standing financially/insurance up to date, have you caused problems in the past, have you answered all callbacks on time, etc etc), there's a chance they'll just decrease your takehome doses (depending upon how many you have). If you have a good amount & they say they're going to take them all away, ask if there's any way they can reduce them instead. At my clinic, if you have, say, 6 takehomes & they say they're going to take them away, you can advocate for yourself for reduced takehomes (so you have 3 takehomes) while you work to regain their trust & your good standing. They won't ever offer this though, you have to ask. Worst that happens is they'll say no, right?

    Good luck!

    ~Kailey
     
  17. AboveDaInfluence

    AboveDaInfluence Newbie

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    I had to do a per-employment urine drug test and I wasn't even going to try to detox because I know I wont do it. Good thing for me in California the smoke shops sell these fake or synthetic urine, which was specially made to show negative drug readings. The testers have no way of telling if its fake urine or not, the only way is to test the temperature. Thats why these fake urines come with those hand warmers so you can warm it up in your pants or something. It was so easy I was dumbfoundead I literally walked in the clinic with my fake urine in my pocket. They asked me to empty out my pockets so I took everything out but the fake piss, they had no idea. So i walk in the restroom and i literally poured the fake urine in the cup and walked out. I passed the drug test! I did the same thing for my school.
     
  18. Dirtyanna

    Dirtyanna Newbie

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    from The abuse of diuretics as performance-enhancing drugs and masking agents in sport doping: pharmacology, toxicology and analysis
    excerpt;
    The urine dilution effect of diuretics also allows them to be classified as masking agents and precludes their use both in and out of competition. Some diuretics also cause a masking effect by altering the urinary pH and inhibiting the passive excretion of acidic and basic drugs in urine

    I keep thinking about how this enters in to the equation
     
  19. plague93

    plague93 Newbie

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    I agree, this does work like a charm. I have only tried it once though, and god was I nervous! I just kept talking and pretended like nothing was going on! Lol. Oh, and here is a tip - Cut off a string from a Tampon and place it on the bottle before you wrap the tin foil around it so the Tampon string is hanging downwards. If the nurse (or probation officer, whatever) asks why you're hand is moving, just say that you are on your period and you are moving the string out of the way!
     
  20. POdnUAz

    POdnUAz Newbie

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    sodium bicarbonate?

    Hey.. I smoke with crystal daily and have to see my po tomorrow n call in for UAs daily.. i did approx. exactly what u do,so i find out if i passed or not in a few hours when i see the po,but what about your test are they all cup or also the lab ? I was going to drink a few spoons of baking soda 2 hours before going in,but do i even need to w lots of water,niacinb6,12complex fish oil and a multi vitamin...

    I alsotook a laxative that works in 8 hours, so tomorrow morning after breakfast i will be internally flushed.. should i also take 2 spoon full of the sodium bicarbonate method also, or will that just make me tooo deliluted for testing/ comfort?