Honey, is there a shelter for battered women in your town? Even though he hasn't exactly battered you (or maybe he has?), it sounds like you are just not getting this. You cannot be with this man! You need to be in a safe place, and that would be AWAY FROM HIM. You need to be in a place where people understand the issues and can really help you. At the very least, you are being emotionally and verbally battered, and I wouldn't be surprised if he just went ballistic at some point and really started slamming you and your child around. You MUST get away from him. That's your program now. There is NO looking back to when it was lovely and it worked. He has become so toxic that he is evil. Yes, maybe it is not entirely his fault, but the fault of the drugs in part. But he has chosen the drugs over being a rational human being. I had a private practice in psychotherapy for twenty years. Many, many of my clients were battered women with severe childhood abuse in their histories. I don't know what your childhood story is, and in some ways it doesn't matter right now. You just need to get away from him. If you don't, you will be jeopardizing your child and your unborn child, and you will be then be committing a crime. Sometimes, with my former clients, I just wanted to grab them and shake them into consciousness--but of course, I never did. I waited patiently for them to take the steps they needed to take--but in one case, my client ended up in the hospital having metal plates put into her head. I just about went crazy...she almost died...just because she was hanging in with a lost-cause partner. She has never been quite right in the head since. I don't know what else we can do to convince you to get away from this man. It feels to me like this is your last chance. Leave him now, or forever suffer.I won't listen to a word about how much you love him. That time is OVER. This is about survival now, and you have a huge responsibility to your son, and your unborn child. Suppose he decides to punch you in the stomach? All kinds of awful things could happen...I can imagine them now. All we can do is tell it like we see it and hear it. Only you can make the choice to save your life and that of your children. I still wish you all the best, but I wonder why you are having so much trouble getting this? I hope it doesn't take an act of violence to convince you to get away from him. We care about you and your kids, we really do. We have, many of us, been right where you are. We are only where we are now by virtue of having realized, finally, how much we had to lose if we didn't leave. I wish you all the best in the world--but please come to your senses. It's painful to watch it from this side. We can see where all this is heading, and maybe you can't right now--but you need to wake up. Sorry to be so blunt, but I don't want to see you and your four-year-old in the hospital. The whole situation makes me feel a little crazy since I can't do anything but talk to you about it from a distance. Ultimately, the choice is up to you, of course. Please choose life!